Faith and Despondency
by IRL01
Summary: Picks up at the end of season six finale. Jax catches Gemma in the act of violence. Will he be able to stop her before his world comes crashing down? Can this type of sin force him to set his old lady free? Will he be able to give his wife the out she's wanted since her arrest or will his ability to keep her in Charming be too much for him.
1. Chapter 1

Tara's mind was running a hundred miles per second. Her body seemed frozen to the spot as she laid eyes on her spiteful mother in law. Keeper of ever darkest secrets created by none other than her and Clay Morrow. One thing Tara knew for sure was the distinct smell of hatred she could feel practically radiating off of Gemma's skin as if it were her own personal fragrance

Before Tara could even process what was happening, Gemma was advancing on her. One hit after another and Tara and Gemma were having a full out brawl. Out came the iron that sat for some unknown reason in the kitchen as Gemma jabbed it into Tara's lower stomach.

"I HOPE YOUR NOT PREGNANT NOW BITCH" Gemma seethed, her fingers dug into Tara's hair as she pulled Tara back before throwing her head into the counter, almost as if she was gonna bounce back like a basketball.

Her headache, prior to the contact she made with the countertop, further aching when Gemma was again rammed her face to the sink.

From the corner of her eyes, Gemma saw the all to familiar shape of a carving fork and her fury was long gone. She could see only one thing. Blood. Which she was out to get. Dunking Tara's head into the murky dish water, that for some unknown reason was still filled, she just managed to grasp the carving fork and raise her arm out.

Much to Gemma's appreciation, Tara wasn't putting up much of a fight. She silently wondered why if after everything the good doctor had done in the past few months was too guilty for her to handle, so she must've wanted to die.

In that moment questioning Tara's lack of fight, arms began to circle around her waist and to Gemma's horror, the carving fork she held was being yanked from her tight grip, holding her back in an attempt to stop her vicious intentions.

"FUCKING LET ME GO. THIS BITCH NEEDS TO DIE. SHE NEEDS TO MEET MET MAYHEM AND I'M GONNA SERVE HER SENTENCE. SHE RATTED MY CLUB OUT. SHE RATTED ON MY SON. FUCKING LET ME GO" Gemma roared out, adrenaline pumping, hands wavering to grasp Tara's neck as she inhaled deep breaths.

Jax could see a well beat and unconscious Tara tumbling to the ground causing Jax to gasp in shock. Throwing his mother behind him, he didn't care if she fell hitting the ironing board along the way as he towered over his wife's body.

"Tara… Babe wake up. Please babe" Jax sobbed out as he crouched down to be level with her. Checking for a pulse he inhaled sharply running his hand over her battered head taking in all her injuries about to show. Anger and fury fueled him as he glared at Gemma who was trying to shuffle to a sitting position.

"What the hell happened in here?" Roosevelt asked in complete shock, as if this was the first viscous attack he had ever seen. Spotting Gemma by the cupboards opposite Jax and Tara who were against the sink, Roosevelt took in the rest of the kitchen before looking back down at Gemma.

Roosevelt in some way felt sorry for Jax and knew he would want a word with her before he did his job. Taking a blind eye to the scene for a short moment, he stood back into the hallway meanwhile, Jax having caught on to what Eli was doing, he kissed Tara's soft porcelain skin and brushed her hair out softly before he laid her gently down as if she would break into a million pieces.

Standing to his full height, Jax crossed the short distance between himself and his mother and offered his hand out. She was shocked at his hand reaching out to help her until it was cut short when he forced her back against the cupboard and gripped the front of her shirt.

"What are you doing? She was nothing but a rat." Gemma rasped out thoroughly confused as to why he was aiming his anger at her.

"She didn't rat on anyone" Jax voiced low enough that it sent shivers down Gemma's spine. Jax could see clear signs of Gemma high on something and the smell of alcohol invading his nostrils causing him to keep his breakfast down. She gasped in shock, her eyes seemed to have turned black and cold in a second and she glanced down at Tara's lifeless looking body. "But you Gemma just did. You are not welcome here or anywhere where she takes my sons. Your dead to me and to them. You understand" he seethed. Gemma was in her own world of regret and sorrow that she hadn't heard her life sentence being served to her.

Jax only grew angrier and pulled Gemma by the side of her leather jacket and pushed her back with force having finally caught the elder woman's attention.

"Say goodbye to being grandma mother because your fucking dead to me" Jax growled out.

Roosevelt knew in that moment to step in. He looked to Jax apologetically "emergency services are on their way" he rasped then finally turned to Gemma. "Gemma Teller- Morrow, you are under arrest for the attempted murder of Dr Tara Knowles- Teller…" He cuffed her tightly and read her her rights as he escorted Gemma out of her son and daughter in laws house.

His moment of pure rage was soon cut short as he heard his wife's coughing on the ground. He was reaching out for her before she could even fully process what had happened and scooped Tara up in his tattooed arms to checked her over.

"Babe? Are you okay? How hurt are you?" He asked.

"I- shit I have a splendid fucking headache. What the hell happened?" Jax stood up taking Tara with him and before he pulled her in for a bone crushing hug. Tara was shocked for a moment before it all came tumbling back to her at full speed. Her breath hitched as she recalled the scene play out in her head once, then twice then finally a third before she was pushing Jax back.

She saw the look of hurt and confusion in his eyes before she cupped his face. "What changed your mind?" Tara asked. She knew from his plans earlier that he was gonna head to the ice cream shop to inform the club of their deal and to spend the rest of the afternoon with their sons. She rubbed her head in an attempt to relieve some of the pressure building up as Jax answered her.

"You. I had this gut feeling something was about to change. And not for the better either. Besides being arrested later on tonight I just knew it. Lucky I-" he stopped himself as he fell into the hold Tara had on him. "She was gonna kill you Tara. I saw with-" he broke out sobbing now as he pulled Tara into him.

She had only just woken up from being knocked out for a few moments but she needed him to be okay. She couldn't have her husband spiraling out of control before he got arrested. She reached for his hands and walked back to their room. Tara sat him down on the edge of their bed as she headed for the bathroom to change out of her wet clothes, and cleaned herself up a little making sure her vision was still good, apart from the headache and a few bruises that would soon reveal itself, she was good.

She listened from the bathroom as Jax spoke with someone on the phone.

It was 2pm which gave him enough time still to have church, he just needed an extra hour to process what happened just minutes ago. Dialing his Vice President, he waited out the ringing before Chibs thick accent came to life.

"Chibs, slight change of plans, church in an hour and at my house. Bring the boys too. There's no fucking way I'm leaving my wife unprotected" Jax rasped out more angrier than he thought.

Without waiting for an answer, Jax slammed his phone shut and shrugged out of his kutte. Throwing it over the hamper he rid himself of his dark blue hoodie along with his brand new white looking shirt revealing the best of himself.

She could see he was fighting with himself internally and sighed softly as she padded across their room in her robe and reached for his dresser pulling out one of his SAMCRO shirts that filled her nostrils with his strong cologne. Letting her black silk robe gather at her ankles, she slipped on Jax's shirt and stood leaning against the doorway holding herself.

The eruption of sirens in the background indicated the ambulance had just pulled into their driveway and Jax sighed. "I'll tell them to leave" he rasped almost brokenly. Tara didn't say anything as Jax left her alone. Moments later he was padding down the hallway and stopped in the doorway looking down to the ground with his hands in his pockets.

"Jax. Baby. Look at me" Tara rasped softly. Jax ignored her plead and instead rid himself of his perfectly clean white sneakers.

Turning his back on Tara he disrobed out of his baggy jeans, letting them gather at his ankles leaving him with just his plain boxes as he crawled onto their bed and pulled Tara into him.

Neither Jax or Tara could seem to move after a moment. Tara knew after today, he would be locked up in jail. The same thoughts from earlier kept rolling around in her head but they couldn't avoid it now.

"Jesus fuck babe. I'm so sorry for not believing you" Jax sobbed out causing Tara's heart to well. Flipping over to hold him too, she wrapped her arms around his waist as tight as she could, comforting her husband in the only way they knew how to. Crying along with him and inhaling their sex from earlier on both of their bodies, Tara felt the need to connect with him one last time.

"It doesn't matter, baby, you were there when it mattered." Tara whispered full of emotions she couldn't handle right now.

Squeezing her with bruising force, Jax inhaled sharply overthinking what he just witnessed. His mother was just about to kill his wife in her own home. Her own daughter in law, the mother of her grandsons and he saw no regret in Gemma's eyes or any kind of love for Tara in that moment. All he saw was a woman out for blood which if he hadn't changed his course and head to the ice cream shop instead, then he would be coming home when he originally planned and would've been caught hovering over his wife's lifeless body. As he opened his eyes and cast his sights over her once unharmed face, he could see bruises starting to form along with slight swelling and a little blood being drawled out but he couldn't seem to muster up the courage of spending his last few hours a free man in the hospital and pulled her into him once again with bruising force.

After a moment she rasped out of breath slightly. "Jax your-" Tara gasped out. "Your killing me here" she joked which sounded a lot better in her head than when they flew out of her mouth but as he pulled back holding her at arms length with regret she saw no joke in it and welled up with tears. "I'm sorry" she whispered again bowing her head in embarrassment.

"Don't ever fucking feel sorry for anything again Tara. Gemma is gonna get what's coming to her and you… Well you will too. Your gonna get everything I couldn't give you. When I get taken in a few hours, pack your shit up and hit the fucking road. Don't ever look back and don't ever stop trying to protect our sons. They deserve everything you give them. The safe and stable life I could never provide for you. It's taken until a near death experience of loosing you to see just what a manipulative bitch she can be. And for that, I am so sorry…" Wiping away Tara's tears, Tara wiping away a few of his too, they cupped each other's faces pulling them both together with shear force as they kissed once again. This time the need to feel one another overpowering anything they'd ever felt for one another.

Jax couldn't seem to let her breathe as he shield her body with his. Hovering over her as he wrapped her arms around her, his legs finding their bearing as he straddled her slightly but managing to keep his weight off of her. Their kiss intensifying as she sat up slightly wrapping her arms around his waist. Jax pushed her back down before parting her legs with one then the other as he stilled for a moment between her thighs.

Tara bucked her hips up to him as she clawed at his back not giving a shit if anyone would see her marks. Right now they were marks of love and passion she had for him. The only mark that would be left after two weeks.

Jax stilled her movements at the hips as he thrust his hardened member over her lace panties feeling that she was soaking already but wanting to play this out for as long as he could, he ran his hand under the hem of his shirt slowly as he skimmed her soft skin.

"Make love to me Jackson" Tara rasped out of breath as he finally aloud her to breath. She found herself saying that a second time that day.

Her hands were running through his greasy hair as they glanced into one another's eyes. With a single nod in acknowledgement, Jax reached behind her and unclipped her bra, freeing her puppies for only his eyes to see. Taking one into his mouth, he pushed down her panties slowly as he sat back up and admired his wife's body. The only body he wanted and loved. Cherishing this moment forever, he finally laid over Tara as she reached down for his thick, pulsing member.

Without warning he thrust into her causing Tara to arch her back and him to grip the sheets as he filled her completely. Taking it remarkably slow, he relished in her sweet and soft moans as they swiftly met each other's thrusts. Connecting on all levels as if they hadn't in weeks he relished in making Tara feel good. His hips working her over in all the right spots as she came around him for a first time. Stilling inside to feel her walls pulsating around him, he picked up his pace this time and worked his hips. Assaulting her neck with his bruising mouth, he marked everything he hadn't earlier as he rocked inside of her.

"Shit Jax I'm-" Tara began before her moans of clear signs of a climax ripped through her body once again.

"Shit babe" Jax rasped as he gripped the sheets. Wanting to come with her this time, he didn't stop his movements and instead picked up the pace, working on her clit to keep the climax going he thrust long, hard and deep inside of Tara until he was coming with her third climax.

Spilling his seed inside of his wife Tara cupped his face and smiled flush up at him. "I miss you already Jax" Tara whispered causing Jax to pull out, fall to his side and pull her into him.

"I miss you too Tara. Already and I haven't even gone yet. I don't know how I'm gonna get by these next few years" Jax rasped softly as he let his tears join his wife's. Laying side by side they cupped each other's faces.

"How is this gonna work Jax?"

"Honestly Tara, I have no idea. I don't want you or our boys in Charming though. This place is toxic. With Gemma out of the way and me out of the way, your free to go or do anything you want" Jax rasped hating every word he just said. "Sell everything I own, I'll give you all of my earnings from the club. Set up in another city and raise our sons the way we should've when I got out of Stockton the first time… You have to do this. For yourself and as much as it kills me to say that, it's the truth. Nothing but the truth. You have to do this for yourself" Jax rasped causing Tara's tears to fall more now as she pulled herself out of bed.

Heading straight for the bathroom reaching for her robe first, she slammed the door and put it on before leaning against the door and falling to the ground holding herself. It hurt to hear those words but it was everything she had wanted. Not in the right contents but it was still everything she wanted. Coming to the conclusion too soon about everything that would happen after today, she just wanted to spend time with her husband alone before the chaos of today hit like a ton of bricks.

She picked herself up and threw the door open just in time to stop Jax from knocking on it. She could see him broken once again and instead of arguing about anything, she flung herself into him.

"Can we not talk about me? About us after today? All I want to do is spend time with the man that I love for as long as I possibly can. Do you think we can do that?" Tara sobbed out.

Instead of answering, Jax picked Tara up bridal style and lowered her to their bed before curling into her and holding her tight.

Tara began sobbing as she squeezed Jax. They were already bound together at the heart, she didn't think she could manage a lifetime without him now but she had to do it for her sons. She needed to give them a life outside of the club and outside of Charming.

 **AN. I always did wonder why there was an ironing board in the kitchen and why there was dirty water still in the sink. Like WTF? I don't leave dirty water sitting in the sink for days and I'm pretty sure no one had been there since or was I mistaken? Anyways that was still a question mark behind it.**

 **So this idea came to me last night and I don't think there is another one like it. If there are please let me know and I'll end it but as far as I'm concerned, I haven't read any (in so many words.)**

 **Just for upcoming chapters, (I've read in a few of the other stories a while back that take place after Jax gets out of prison) that he actually doesn't become president again. Is that by choice or because the club decides the leadership then and there is better? Does he have to reclaim his spot or does he choose his own place at the reaper table or does it really matter? For now I can only see one thing but I just wanted people's opinion.**

 **Please if anyone is reading this, I just need a few opinions referring to the comment above because if I don't then I'm taking it in my own way and I don't think it would be right.**

 **I'm stuck there which I can see myself totally giving away but I just need to know so I can adjust it in the following chapters.**

 **And lastly, it would mean a lot if you could all review. I have a few good ideas on where to take this and we may see a certain someone live out a happily ever but idk just yet. I'm still deciding.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN. Thank you all so much for the favs, follows and reviews. It warms my heart to know that there are still Jax and Tara lovers out there. I will do my best with giving our couple what they deserve but bear in mind that nothing is Sons of Anarchy without much drama which I hope I can deliver. Anyways, enough of my little rant. Here's the next chapter, I hope y'all enjoy as much as I did writing it.**

The deafening silence was almost palpable between the reacquainted couple. Both Jax and Tara held one another in their arms as if they were never gonna be in one another's arms again. Well that went without saying. The next two or so decades were laid out before them. Jax would be spending twenty years behind bars. He wouldn't be able to watch all the things he'd wished he could. The first days of schools… The first loose tooth… Teaching both his boys how to ride bikes then as they grew into teenagers they wouldn't fix their first Harley's up together or any of that milestone bullshit he was looking forward too. His deep thoughts were cut by Tara's soft voice.

-Shifting slightly so he could gaze down at those beautiful mossy green eyes that's caught his attention since the moment he first laid eyes on her back when they were sixteen. _The clueless girl who was hanging off of him purposely tripped her over causing all the books she was carrying to fall out of her hands. Jax thought it was stupid that the gash thought it was funny and lent Tara a helping hand with that panty dropping Teller trademark of his. From that moment on he tried everything in his power to make her his_. It was safe to say he succeeded but their life had a way of throwing curve balls at them.

His smile now meant a lot of things but overall Tara could see he was feeling guilty for the shit that's happened in the past couple of weeks. "What was that?" Jax asked.

"I want to be there with you. Every step of the way Jax" Tara whispered out but he heard every word she said as if she screamed it from the top of her lungs.

"Babe" he sighed. "Don't think that's a good idea. I don't want you to get caught up in this bullshit. I already asked enough of you. I want you to leave Charming. Pack our shit up and start somewhere fresh. For our boys and for yourself. For me" he whispered back. His grip around her waist tightened as he spoke his thoughts.

Truth was, he was kicking himself that he let Tara get this far from him. The cheating… Lies… The disconnect. He didn't see any of that coming until the moment he saw all of his sons things as well as her shit packed up. When he found her earlier he had no idea how she felt about him. That in her words, he was a monster. That thought alone made his heart sink to the pit of his stomach but there was no point trying to right a wrong when it was too late. All he could do now was convince her to leave the life he wanted for them. Not that he would admit that out loud but he was selfish to ever think that raising his family in Charming was the best idea he'd ever had.

Slowly removing himself from Tara's embrace, he sighed deeply running a hand through his disheveled hair that Tara ran her fingers through more times than he could count over the last time they re-established their opposite halves. A soft smile broke out at the memory before he stood in his naked form and worked around finding his clothes.

"We can't put this shit on hold now Tara. We have to discuss what happens when I get locked up" Jax rasped honestly. He knew it was a subject neither of them wanted to broach just like earlier when he brought it up, moving to sit on the edge of their bed. He leaned forward resting his forearms on his thighs.

Tara crawled over and sat next to him, getting comfortable at best.

"Sell everything. Our shit… Our house. Use that money to start up fresh somewhere. The last of the businesses are in progress. They won't be up and running for a few weeks but when they are, I'll be making bank-"

"Jax" Tara cuts in reaching for her husbands hand.

"I want everything I earn to go to you and the boys. I'll make sure whoever takes my place will know that." Jax inhaled deeply raking his mind over what else to mention.

"Jax-" Tara tries again but he's found something else to bring up.

"As for Gemma. No doubt she'd be out on bail soon. The law provides your safety from her but I'll have a patched member on you until the trial." When silence broke out between the couple Tara let a tear fall.

This was harder than she thought possible. With throwing children into the mix, she couldn't just up and leave like she did back in high school. She tried that a few days ago and look where that led her… She was tracked down, thinking the only way out was death until the man she confessed her fears to… The man she'd been in love with for half her life finally began to protect her. He was willing to take the fall for her after the disconnect.

The silence was lost on both ears when the familiar rumbling sound entered their neighborhood causing Tara's head to snap up at the sound. The last time she heard that she wasn't as alert as she could've been but now… Now she was. Fear flicked through her before Jax squeezed her hand in reassurance.

"I'll make sure they won't hurt you Tara. Everything's going to be fine" he rasped out. Jax wasn't satisfied when he heard a sob escape her mouth. His heart clutched in his chest and his breathing became heavy but he needed her to be strong. "Don't do that shit Tara. I know it's gonna be hard. Especially cause I ain't gonna be here but I need you to be strong. For me. Be the best mother you can to our boys. Give them everything we'd planned. Just be a damn good mother" Jax stated strongly when he cupped her face in his hands.

"I know I could never take back what's happened over these past few months but I want you to know I'd have done everything for you that I possibly could. I can't take back the hurt on both our parts but I can let you go" the words were weighing heavy in his heart but the more he kept speaking, the more he was loosing himself.

"Jax?" The voice of Bobby came to life indicating he was inside. Hearing the loud footsteps from their room they knew everyone was working around their house finding him.

"I love you Jackson" Tara rasped. It wasn't lost on her ears that she'd been saying those words to him repeatedly in the past few hours. Earlier today she wasn't sure if she would be walking out of Charming, yesterday she was sure she wouldn't ever say that to her husband until the moment at the park earlier where she broke down right in front of him and in front of the club but she couldn't careless.

"I love you Tara" Jax replied kissing her soft plump lips with his own. He seemed to have lingered in these past few kisses and so had she. The need to feel her lips on his was a thing they'd both miss.

Slowly pulling himself from her hold, he reached for a clean pair of dark blue jeans and a white top before throwing them on. He didn't give a shit if he smelt of sex to be honest and welcomed the essence of his love making. Placing a last kiss to Tara's lips he padded out of their room stopping short when he saw all of his brothers in the kitchen taking in the scene.

"The hell happened here?" Happy gruffly rasped. All their heads snapped to the front door when Abel greeted his father.

"Daddy" Abel cheered, running into Jax's waiting arms. Jax scooped his eldest son up and kissed his crown before hugging him tight. Thomas came next in Chibs arms.

"I'll tell you soon" Jax informed. "I missed you two. Mommy's in our bedroom monster, why don't I take you in there" Jax rasped but he felt the presence of his wife before he could take them.

"I've got them" Tara rasped softly as she reached out for Thomas. She could see his look of desperation, need, crave and want as he held both boys to his sides. Tara smiled sadly for a moment and let him have his little time. He nodded towards their room watching as Tara smiled politely to the guys with a little regret showing. Jax followed with the boys and sat down on the freshly made bed with his family.

"Listen boys, daddy wants you both to take care of mommy when I'm gone. She's gonna need you both to hold her in the protective Teller arms. Can you do that for me Abel?" Jax asked holding back the tears he wanted to let out.

"I can, but daddy where you going?" Abel pouted while outlining the SONS rings Jax wore.

"That doesn't matter right now Abel. As long as I've got your word, no one will ever harm mommy. Right?"

"Right" Abel answered matter of factly with determination and protectiveness laced in his voice as he smiled lovingly up at his mother. He worked his way out of Jax's arms and into Tara's and gasped in shock. "Mommy?" Abel stopped, mouth agape slightly, raising his hand up over Tara's clearly forming black eye in the cutest but worried gesture Jax had ever witnessed.

"I know my baby boy" Tara answered reaching for his hand before he could cup her face. Kissing his soft baby fingers she whispered something into his ear before putting him down. She and Jax watched as their eldest son ran into his bedroom before she turned back to Jax holding her hands out for Thomas.

Jax kissed Thomas once again before pulling Tara into him. "I'm so sorry babe" Jax whispered. It pains Tara to see the sorrow and regret in his eyes as Jax lingers from her battered face to the perfect creation of them both. For a moment Jax tries picturing the most memorable times he has ever had with Tara and couldn't help the sad smile that lingered on the edge of his lips. "I'm sorry for all the shit I've done to you. Every. Single. Time I hurt you" he uttered out slowly on purpose. "Now all I seem to only see is me hurting you more and I can't have you living this life" he gestured towards his kutte and around their room.

No words were spoken after Jax spoke his regrets out loud. Flashes of his mother holding a carving fork over Tara came rushing back and he inhaled sharply. His hands gripped both of hers and he held them up to his mouth. Kissing with care over the hands that healed so many, including their eldest son, he couldn't help but set her free.

Jax stood on shaky legs and released his wife's hands before slowly pulling himself from the family he built with Tara and padded out of their bedroom heading towards the full lounge where all of SAMCRO had taken up seats or stood watching on.

"Jax?" Tig asked after shock was long gone. He and the guys had questioned how Tara looked moments ago and he wasn't as surprised to see she was sporting a few decent blows. He being a witness to female violence wasn't that all concerned for his presidents wife considering he was on edge about how they were handling Tara being a rat earlier. "You didn't?" He asked nervously.

Jax narrowed his eyes at Tig and the top corner of his mouth arched in anger with his fists clenching tight at his side. "The fuck do you think I am? I told you earlier Tig that no one and I mean no one in this goddamn club was gonna hurt my old lady and that included me" he growled out. He watched as relief washed over Tig but it wasn't because he felt sorry for Tara cause he was not at all sorry for how he felt about rats. "I gave Tara a chance to explain. Something you doubted when Opie told us he wasn't a rat" Jax snapped causing Tig to gasp in shock.

Everything that happened after Donna's death and Tig having confessed that he accidentally killed her thinking she was Opie and having that shit swept under the carpet with the help of Clay, he never thought Jax would bring that up again but he had been dead wrong.

Tig held back with his words before Jax finally pulled his glare away from Clay's once right hand man "Rat, see if there's any beers in the fridge" Jax ordered. "Juice, there's a few bottles of whiskey behind you. Pull them out."

Jax sat down in the two person love seat with his right hand sitting next to him. Chibs sat adjacent to them much like how they sat at the reaper table.

"Care to explain?" Chibs asked. It bugged him to see the mess after they walked in after each other and it was even disturbing to see Tara's beautiful soft porcelain face all battered and bruised. He had to admit to himself though that for a split second he thought Tara had met the receiving end of his presidents hands until he washed those thoughts away immediately after the phone call he received not even a half hour ago.

"This was all there was" Rat stated placing six beers next to the two bottles of Jameson on the coffee table.

"Stay calm my brothers. Everything will be explained" his usual strong tone sounded defeated as he took a pull straight from the bottle. Welcoming the burning sensation of the hard liqueur with a hiss he inhaled deeply running a lazy hand over his scruff.

"After meeting with Patterson, I had Tara clear of all her charges. She's not going to jail" Jax stated simply causing half the club to furrow their brows.

"You made a deal didn't you" Chibs stated rather than questioned but Jax nodded yes. "Jesus Jackie. What?"

"I take the wrap for the school shooting in return for full immunity for both my club and Tara." A few members gasped in shock and deeply but it was Chibs who spoke up again.

"Ain't how this is meant to be brother" he asked.

"Doesn't matter. I'm not gonna let my wife take the wrap for my club. Tara is free to leave. I've allowed her safe passage out of Charming. After everything she's tried doing ever since she's been arrested, I'm giving her what she deserves. I need to know that when she moves, she has the full support of my club."

"No matter her decision, she will be protected Jax. She's family" Chibs assured clearing Jax's worried state. Again, Jax nodded before looking around to his club.

"How long you in for?" Bobby asked.

"Tara's lawyers says they'll settle for twenty five. Parole in ten, maybe seven if I'm lucky."

"Jesus" Chibs whispered.

"I'm good with it" Jax stated simply although the the pain was present in his voice.

"You know where your going?"

"Stockton."

Bobby tried raking his memory trying to form a fast plan for his president and nodded. "Good. Okay. I'll reach out to Flame and Red" who were two presidents of the Reno and Rogue river chapters. "They have a few guys in for life there" Bobby stated causing Jax to nod his thanks.

"We have the club in a good place. Shits a little bumpy with brown but that will clear up" Jax brought up before they cleared a few more club details and shit, getting out of guns and forming different alliances to ensure the club would go and stay legit.

"Once Caracara is set up along with Diosa international, my earnings along with all the other ventures I've set the club up with go to my wife and boys" Jax stated simply. "Wherever she goes, you take it personally. Understand?"

"Understood" Bobby answered for the rest of the guys.

Now was the time to announce his successor. Inhaling deeply he looked to each and every one of his brothers long and hard. They met their current presidents eyes with accepting nods.

"Bobby, you take my place at the head of the table" Jax declared plain and simply. He could see Bobby shaking his head but he refused to let Bobby back down. "Your always talking about what's best for the club Bobby. You leading is best. With Chibs at your left, we have a chance. Just keep moving towards legitimate shit. Get Caracara back up and running. TM back on track. SAMCRO will be fine."

Taking in what Jax just said, Bobby looked to Chibs who met his eyes "you good with that?"

"Yeah" Chibs answered with a nod.

"Alright" Bobby accepted.

When silence rang out through the lounge along with deep intakes of breaths along with members taking pulls of the Jameson being passed around Chibs sat back before asking in his deep Scottish accent "so what happened in the kitchen?"

Jax mentally groaned but answered. "After the meet with Patterson and Tara, I was heading back to the ice cream shop but instead something had me coming home. Wasn't until I saw Gemma holding a carving fork over my wife did I realize she was about to attempt murder. Caught her in the fucking act" Jax growled out closing his fists tight so he wouldn't punch anything. "They fought before I stopped Gemma from doing anything else. Tara was lying on the ground unconscious and beaten up from her handy work. That's why she looks-" he couldn't seem to finish that as he hissed at the mere thought of seeing his wife battered and bruised.

"No matter what happens, she's not the mother I remember. I don't actually recognize her anymore. Roosevelt was tasked with watching Tara so he was here to arrest Gemma with attempted murder. This is the only way she deserves to live with the guilt of almost killing the mother of her grandsons."

"Jax? This is Gemma we're talking about. Yeah she's gone off the rails a bit but your talking about jail time for her. Your mother" Tig began but Jax's sniggers had him stopping.

Jax stood with determination and glared cold and hard at Tig. "You know what Tig, your pushing my fucking buttons. First you want me to kill my wife for ratting us out earlier today, then you think I had something to do with her face and now your trying to defend my mothers actions" he growled out. Jax was honestly not surprised to be hearing this from Tig but it didn't stop his anger from rising with just looking at his face.

"If you see two women you love most in life practically fighting until the death… Hearing what your mother screams about your wife… Then you'd understand. She is the only one at the end of the day who loses. We all know she's an overbearing bitch. She just went to the extremes of destroying my life. She was willing to kill the mother of her grandchildren because she thought Tara had ratted" Jax full out ranted out.

Tig sat in complete shock with his jaw hitting the floor. The cold hard glare of those dark blue eyes never faltered from Tig but Jax could feel the anger of his brothers rising.

"Shit prez. Take it easy. We all know Tig doesn't think before he says or does shit" Happy rasped out with his hands holding Jax back preparing for anything to escalate. "Your boys and old lady are in the next room boss" he tried reasoning. "This douche just has to suck it up. No matter what brother, I'll be there for her and those boys" Happy finished causing the tension in the room to drop. Jax's hard glare suddenly vanished and he snapped his head towards his SAA. Silently conversing with just eye contact, Jax nodded before they embraced in a brotherly hug.

"You got my full support too brother" Bobby exclaimed as he rose from his seat next to Chibs. His shoulder was still in its sling from his latest hit but he didn't give a shit and pulled Jax into a brotherly hug too. It seemed that the rest of the guys followed in suit with agreeing to protect Tara and his sons no matter where they went but Tig and Juice lingered back.

"Tig, you got a problem with this?" Jax barked out.

"No boss" Tig answered. Silence grew throughout the lounge as Tig tried thinking of what to say next. "You know me. I don't think shit through properly. I never meant to kill Donna and I never meant to do any of that shit that came with Clay, Pope and whatever shit I did after that but all I saw was a rat" Tig answered honestly.

"An innocent one. One that was taking the fall for us. I couldn't let my wife take the hit for my club which is why at the last fucking minute, I'm taking it. I forced Tara into this life… I didn't stop Tara from wanting to see Otto and I didn't pack our shit when we got out of Stockton but now that it's too late, I have to live with the consequences."

There was nothing left for the guys to say except to offer their full support.

"Gemma's in custody now. Maybe she's still got friends on the outside willing to post bail and if she does, a restraining order won't stop her-" Jax began.

"I'll personally protect her boss. You got my word" Happy offered his services without having to be asked which is what Jax loved about his SAA. He was willing to do anything for his family.

"Thanks brother. And the rest of you?"

"Will do the same" Chibs and Bobby both answered while the rest of the guys nodded in agreement.

"When she moves, and I hope she does, I want you to help her. When Gemma's trial comes up, you all stand by her when I can't-"

"Jackie, don't worry about that shit. We're all here for your family. No matter what" Chibs stated. Everyone could tell Jax was just rambling on and that he needed to be reassured over many times that his club would support Tara in any way.

"Fuck" Jax sighed in defeat but before he could get too comfortable in his seat, Juice caught his eye and he was seeing red.

"Hap, fucking take his patch off. Tie him up and take him to the warehouse. Anyone willing to out themselves can go. Anyone willing to rat out their president to a business partner and his own wife because he wanted revenge on them is fucking dead" Juice gasped in shock knowing full well that Jax was talking about him and he stood holding his kutte firmly to his body.

"Jax-" Juice pleaded.

"You didn't even have the slightest idea that Gemma was here did you?" Jax asked instead. When Juice stood silently trying to think of something to say Jax scoffed. "Don't try and think up a lie now Juice. It will only dig you a bigger hole."

"Please don't" Juice rasped brokenly.

"I know you told Nero about killing Darvany. I know you were willing to hurt me because of the few words I whispered into your ear and I know you told Tara I was in Stockton and I know you tried killing yourself. Not once but twice. Let's not even go there with what just happened before I showed up here. Your nothing if not weak" Jax listed off cold and hard. He stood and closed the distance between him and Juice. "Now, I'm gonna ask you in the calmest way I can. Take off your kutte."

"Jax? Please. This is all I have left" Juice continued to plead. Jax gritted his teeth and held his hand out for the kutte as Happy moved to stand behind him.

"Take it off" he growled out forcefully now.

"No. The only way this leather is coming off of me is if you shoot me" Juice stated not giving in. Jax nodded.

"Fair enough. I'd do the same. Hap, cuff him. You know what to do" Jax stated before looking around the room once again. Each men reached for the bottle of Jameson taking a generous amount for themselves before passing it along. They had long since ran out of beer but they still had a half of bottle left.

The guys watched as Juice out up a helluva fight but in the end a headlock brought Juice down before he was being handcuffed and hauled out of the current SAMCRO presidents house.

"Now if you all don't mind. I need to spend some time with my family" Jax stated knowing it would be the last time they ever had contact for a while.

"What time you getting picked up?" Bobby asked.

"Six" Jax stated deeply. That was only in three hours. Arrangements had to be made soon and fast.

"We'll be here just before you get picked up then" Bobby exclaimed.

"Okay brother" Jax answered before hugging each and every brother as they walked out of his house.

Once Jax watched his club ride out he headed to his bedroom smiling softly at his family seeing Thomas had passed out on his mother while Abel held a protective arm over her waist.

"Hey" Tara rasped softly. She had heard most of what was said and she smiled sadly. "Thank you" she whispered reaching out for him.

"Just give our boys a better life babe. One without being a witness to the violence of this cease pool. They're too young to even be seeing this shit" Jax answered honestly.

"Can we still come and see you? I don't want them not knowing you Jackson." Jax looked shocked for a moment causing Tara to frown. "You don't think I'd bring them to visit you?" She asked hurtful.

"I-" he began before shaking his head softly. "I'll have Patterson set up the paper work then I'll have one of the members follow you every time you visit."

"Good."

 **AN. Now I think that was a good place to cut it off seeing as I didn't want to drag out the arrest and all that.**

 **If some things aren't as it is in the show then I'm sorry. I tried raking my brain up with remembering what happened mainly because I didn't wanna put myself through the pain of watching the disconnect between our favorite couple but then I ended up on YouTube watching how fans reacted towards both Jax and Tara's deaths and my heart completely sunk all over again knowing we all felt the same towards each seasons ending… but anyways, I think I did okay.**

 **And as for the law talk… Well I'm pretty sure it's accurate (or in my head it is at least). I think I did good with that too.**

 **I can't wait to see where the next chapter goes myself and I hope what I write comes out how I'm picturing it in my head.**

 **Please review and tell me your thoughts.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer. I do not own Sons of Anarchy or any of the characters. Just the unfamiliar ones. Thank you all for taking your time out to read each chapter along with my other stories and to those who review.**

 **AN. I'm sorry I took so long to update this. Most readers are probably looking forward to this story than my other ones cause I've updated them more than this one but it was hard deciding where to pick up but I think I got it right. So here is the next chapter.**

 **Just a heads up, I know in reality you wouldn't be able to practice medicine if you were charged with something but this is a fictional story and Tara didn't end up getting charged with anything which would leave her with a black mark, so in the fantasy world created, Tara can still practice medicine.**

Patterson had managed to black out the black mark to her name and she was still able to practice medicine, although her screwed up hand still stopped her from doing what she really loved, she was gonna be able to perform surgery in a few more months once her hand was completely healed which she was happy about.

Patterson had set her up with a job working as a pediatrician in a hospital in Sacramento. She was still working with kids but as long as she could still practice, she didn't care. The D.A also had Tara set up with a house on a three month lease in case she didn't like the house or the fit which, for now, was enough for herself and her two boys.

It had been three months since Jax was arrested. Tara was trying to be strong for her sons. She tried using the hurt and pain of Jax cheating to push her through the day but it only made her feel worse so it was better the forgive and move on.

While juggling working at Sutter medical center for the past two months now on top of having Abel enrolled at the local elementary school up the road from their house and Thomas being in the hospital daycare, it was fair to say she was working like Wonder Woman trying to get ends to meet. She had a schedule mapped out for everyday and hired a sitter who she offered a room too for when she had early mornings and needed the boys in school on time. On top of all of that, she was still searching for a house nearby now seeing as everything they needed was within a short walking distance.

It was slow and steady progress for Tara. She managed fine but at nights she always felt empty. The boys filled the void of her husbands absence and she always found it hard to sleep at night.

"Abel can you clean your mess up please?" Tara asked when she changed Thomas. She'd been working overtime and finding her way around her new work place, getting to know her colleagues better so she could familiarize herself with everything so she didn't have much time with the boys once she got home. It was the first day off since she started at Sutter medical and she was finally glad to spend some time with them.

"Yes mommy" Abel answered without a huff. She loved this stage when her baby's would do as they were told but taking into consideration of who their father was she was in for hell of a ride. She was definitely no Gemma but she would love them just as fiercely as she did her two sons up until it got a little too much. Tara would know when to step back and let her sons breath not that she waiting for that day to come. In fact, she preyed it would never come.

"Are we gonna see daddy now mommy?" Abel asked. Tara gaped at him in shock stopping her actions with Thomas to glance at her eldest son. "I heard you with uncle Bobby mommy" he answered.

"No baby. We're not but we're going to see aunt Lyla and Ellie, Kenny and Piper. Won't that be fun?" Tara asked hoping to get that thought out of her sons head. She knew lying to him was bad but she didn't want the boys visit with her while she spoke to Jax first.

"Oh yes. Can I play with Kenny's race cars? He's got huge ones" Abel declared proving his point by gesturing with his hands how big Kenny's cars were.

"If he lets you baby. So clean up then we can go once I have your brother fed" Tara finished off. Abel zoomed around the room picking up after himself. A muffled rumble that soon came into earshot caused Tara, Abel and even Thomas to look towards the door in a delightful manner. Abel beat Tara to the front door wasting no time whipping the door open for the biker to enter the house.

Tara smiled when she heard the familiar raspy voice come into earshot and she kissed Thomas before scooping him up and heading for the front door. It was more content that she heard a familiar voice than anything else. Besides her work colleagues and her sitter, Tara had no friends, not that she was looking for any anyways but she liked it that way.

"Ready?" Happy asked ruffling Abel's hair before he ran upstairs. Tara huffed looking up at Abel and nodded her head.

"Can you get him in his car seat while I get the bags?" Tara asked handing Happy her youngest.

Happy nodded pulling out a yellow envelope yet again. "It's all there doc" Happy stated much like the other two times he dropped around Tara's to give her Jax's share in the club money

"Thanks Hap" Tara whispered hating that she never refused the money. She was living on a doctors salary so she didn't need the extra money. Heading up after Abel, she smiled softly. "Come on baby. Uncle Happy is waiting for you with Tommy" Tara declared before heading for her room. Pulling open her wardrobe she pushed her hanging clothes to the side and lifted carpet up before lifting the floorboards up revealing her small safe that held the other stacks of cash along with a few weapons for safe keeping.

-o0o-

By the time they ended up in Charming Tara actually smiled with relief. Seeing the familiar sign caused flutters in Tara's heart that she didn't even know was possible. She was so hell bent on living the town that she actually missed the place. Heading straight for the clubhouse, she pulled in and parked up next to Lyla's car and was thankful that the boys had fallen asleep on the ride here.

"Tara" Lyla gushed out in happiness. Tara couldn't help the smile that lit up her face when Lyla came running towards her. They embraced in a sisterly hug and lingered for a moment longer before Lyla was holding Tara at arms length. "Jesus, look at you" Lyla declared with the kind and loving smile she always had.

"I can say the same for you. Your looking good as ever Ly."

When Tara pulled back she was pulled into another emotional wave of hugs.

"All healed now doc thanks to you" Bobby exclaimed opening his arms up for a hug.

"I see that. They take good care of you?" She asked referring to the doctors at St. Thomas.

"Not as good as you would've. Come one now we gotta hit the road. Almost time for visiting hours" Bobby declared.

Chibs following behind then she couldn't help but to smile softly at Tig and gave him a one armed hug before doing the same with Rat and Quinn who patched in when Bobby was ordered by Jax when he was still president to have the nomads disperse into chapters along with the other nomads who were now redwood.

"Where are those boys of yours?" Bobby grinned.

"They're asleep. Can someone take them in for me please?" Tara asked.

"Sure thing doc" Tig and Chibs got the boys out while Bobby had Rat get their shit. Once the boys were inside, Tara couldn't help but glance around at the newly reestablished clubhouse. Taking a moment to feel again, it looked good as gold from what she could tell. Different yes but still the same familiar feel and vibe as the clubhouse before it got blown to pieces.

"Down here" Lyla gestured with her free hand pointing towards the back where the dorms were. "I was adamant that they make a play room for the club kids so it's this room" Lyla said opening up the first door on the left.

"Yeah she's like Gemma in that way" Rat snickered out causing Bobby to jab him in the stomach. "Shit Tara. I'm sorry" he apologized causing Tara to ignore him.

"Other than that though, room arrangement is still the same" Lyla cut in before Rat could say anything else.

With that being said, Tara assumed that hers and Jax's dorm was still the third door on the right and she assumed correctly. Nothing covered the walls apart from the American flag that still hung over the bed. The room was still the same as if the clubhouse had never blown in the first place. Chibs put Abel down and Tig did the same with Thomas.

"Look Tara. I'm sorry for how everything's turned out but we need to stick together. I know how it feels to miss your husband but every moment counts. Ellie and Kenny are a great reminder of the man that I love" Lyla stated with honesty. Tara smiled softly and pulled Lyla in for a warm hug.

"Thank you so much for this Lyla" Tara said hugging pretty much her only friend.

"No problem. We have to keep in touch more. Just cause you live an hour away doesn't mean we should be strangers. This is your club after all" Lyla pointed out causing Tara to shake her head and look at Bobby who was approaching the two of them.

"No Lyla. It's not" she whispered before they left the boys sleep.

"We better head out then doc. Got some Intel on Gemma too" Bobby rasped softly putting Tara on immediate edge. He didn't wanna bring it up with Jax wanting her to have a heads up first.

"You sure your okay with watching the boys?"

"Yes Tara. Now go" Lyla demanded pushing her out of the clubhouse and escorting her towards her car. "If I need anything I'll ask the guys staying back" Lyla stated looking at Bobby with Quinn and Tig.

"Okay I'm going" Tara chuckled and got into her car.

-o0o-

Passing all the security checks and such, Tara sat at a rounded table nervously shaking her leg with Bobby. "Calm down there doc. Everything's gonna be good" he assured. Tara smiled nervously before the buzzers went off indicating the inmates were being let out from behind the cemented bars. She looked to the table with chips in it not wanting Jax to see her fear or anything else. She hoped she could have this time alone with him and maybe she could but right now she needed him focused on what Bobby was about to spill.

Hearing Bobby stand and greet her husband whose eyes she could feel boring into her and inhaled sharply before standing herself. "Hey Jax" she whispered with a soft smile that he met.

"Babe" he rasped wasting no time pulling Tara in for a hug. Inhaling her scented perfume and shampoo he practically growled in her ear. "Shit babe you smell so good."

Tara could feel her legs weak at the knees and held in how she wanted to react, settling for just a kiss would do for now.

"Jesus. Maybe all we needed was distance" Jax joked but it was lost on her ears.

"If that was a dig about the past Jax fuck you" Tara snapped instantly. Everything was going great up until the time she volunteered herself to help the club out with the Otto shit. Whatever happened from then on between them was no ones fault but their on. The lies, deceit and cheating was all their own doing.

"Shit Tara. I never meant it like that" Jax back peddled reaching for her hand that she pulled back. He watched Tara sit down and sighed deeply.

"How else was I supposed to take it?" She asked. Without waiting for his answer she spoke again. "Tell us what Gemma's been up to."

Jax snapped his head towards Bobby who he still couldn't believe was sitting at the head of the reaper table but he wouldn't have it any other way.

"Gemma's trial is coming up next month. She's pleading not guilty. Somehow it buys her some good karma but it ain't looking good" Bobby stated simply causing Tara to hold her breath. After everything she's done. The hurt, controlling her son and almost succeeding in killing her, Tara's preyed for nothing but. Before she could fall deep into her thoughts Jax pulled her out.

"Babe? You still here?" He asked.

"Hm- yeah. Don't worry about it. So then we're talking life if I testify?" Tara stated rather than asked.

"If? Tara your fucking testifying against her alright. There's no ifs or buts here" Jax clearly stated.

"Teller, calm down or I'm sending you back into the yard" an old guard growled out causing Jax to tense his jaw. Tara looked behind him and spotted the guard watching their table intently before she looked back at him.

"Jax? Is something wrong?" She asked. There really was no point seeing as guards were complete assholes and she had no power to do anything about it.

"I'm good babe but you testifying against Gemma is gonna happen."

It seemed to be the two of them having their own silent conversation for a few minutes before Tara nodded. "Was there anything else?" Jax asked wanting to spend the next 45 minutes alone with his wife.

"Nah. Everything's good. I'll update you next time I come round" Bobby finished. He stood with Jax and they bro hugged. "I'll be waiting outside with the others doc."

"Thanks Bobby."

"Yeah thanks brother." Jax watched as Bobby was out of his eye sight before he looked down at Tara who sat picking at the table that already had a chip in it which wasn't usual for the doctor and he sighed. He sat with her between his legs and hand on her lower back resting over his crow tattoo. "Tara how you doing?" He asked. Looking into her soft green eyes he could feel how she felt.

It was good to see her after all these months. She grew her hair out just the way he loved but he could tell she wasn't taking good care of herself.

"Good" she lied and he could see right through it.

"Your lying Tara. Look at you. Even make up can't cover the way I see you" he rasped softly cupping her face in his hand. Tara leaned into his touch and moaned softly.

"I'm late" she rasped out of nowhere. "I've been late for two months Jackson." Tears welled in her eyes as Jax pulled back as if out of reflex he was just burnt. Stunned silence was heard through Tara's ears and she looked down at her hands. "I haven't checked yet but I know my body and I know I'm having another baby. I'm sorry. If I thought this would happen again I'd take everything back. That day. I'd take it all back" she sobbed out causing Jax to break from his thoughts.

Not giving a shit if he was in a room full of fellow inmates, he pulled Tara's face into his and looked deep into her eyes.

"Don't take that shit back Tara. We needed that. I'm sorry I broke yet another promise and there ain't much I can do about it but you know-"

"If you could you would. I understand" she pulled out of his hands and reached for a few things inside her bag keeping her mind from thinking about the unborn child she was definitely pregnant with. "I know baby. These are from the boys" Tara stuttered out. She placed a few pictures in front of Jax and opened them up smiling at Thomas' colored scribbles.

"Abel's a smart little boy. He's putting together more clear sentences now which is good for his age. He helps me around the house a lot and with his brother."

"Tara-" Jax tried cutting in but she kept talking about their boys. He didn't wanna bring up the pregnancy knowing she wasn't ready to face it yet and alone again but he needed to.

"I have a job. I work as a pediatrician at Sutter medical center in Sacramento. I'm looking for a house big enough for the three of us-" Tara explained.

"Four Tara. The four of you" Jax corrected causing Tara to scrunch her face.

"You don't want her?" Jax growled low enough it sent shivers down Tara's back snapping her head in his direction.

"How dare you. Just because I'm not acknowledging it now doesn't mean I do not want her. I just- let me wrap my head around it first okay? I've got a lot of shit on my mind which includes worrying about you so don't ever ask me that again" Tara snapped. Reaching for her bag she scoffed. "Fuck Bobby. I wanted the first visit to be one of many but he just has to spill about Gemma doesn't he" Tara stated causing Jax to inhale deeply.

He could understand. He wanted nothing but to spend the full hour with his wife but instead they get told Gemma's trial is coming up which put her on edge.

"Tara. Sit down. The hours not up yet. Please" he asked tapping the seat she was sitting in. Tara reluctantly sat back down and fiddled with her hands.

"Another pregnancy Jax. That's at least sixteen or so years without our daughter or son growing up without knowing you."

"Babe- don't do that shit. We'll manage. Just like we did with Thomas. Well can manage with our little girl too."

"I want to make this a weekly thing like before. Think you can keep out of trouble?" Tara asked. She'd tried her best to keep Jax quiet as she spoke unless he asked questions to which she had an answer for.

"I will. And if we're having another baby then I definitely will try my best to stay out of trouble" Jax rasped softly letting his hand wonder to her belly that was still barely visible with the clothes she wore.

 **AN. So Tara's pregnant again. I wanted Jax to know Tara was having another baby because I didn't want her to keep it a secret from him and of course, throughout the following years, Tara will be keeping in touch with Jax on the regular just as a heads up. Somehow it lead me that way so I'm glad he knows about the pregnancy.**

 **With the jail and law talk, again I don't know much about that but researched some. It sounded good in my head again so please ignore if it's wrong.**

 **I hope you all like the chapter and please review. Your opinions mean a lot and it gives me a sense of direction on where to take this.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer. I do not own Sons of Anarchy or any of the characters. Just the unfamiliar ones. Thank you all for taking your time out to read each chapter along with my other stories and to those who review.**

 **I'm sorry it took so long but I hope this makes up for it and takes place ten years after the last chapter.**

February 15 2024- ten years later

"Thomas? Faith? Hurry up before your late for school" Tara was rushing around in a haze trying to find her work badge that got lost somewhere along with half of the shit she couldn't find.

She had hoped for the day off today but knew with starting at a new hospital, she didn't want to make a bad impression. It wasn't as if they didn't have her name on record seeing as she did complete her residency there. Tara just wanted something to go her way for once and considering her major fuck up back in Sacramento, she needed a clean sleight.

There was a lot Tara could say about her eldest child. He was the apple of her heart. The one who pulled her out of her fucked up state when she first moved back to Charming. The heartbreaker of many girls to come. He had the infamous Teller trademark that caught the eyes of many. He also had a way with words that not many could understand from a young boy like him but he was after all the grandson of a man of his own

Then there was her baby boy. The exact replica of not only Abel and Jax but also of the baby boy Tara loved as a child. His namesake. Thomas was proud to hold his uncles name and somehow felt as if he his uncle was watching over him. Making sure he was on the right path and not doing shit he would've. Thomas was just as bad a lady killer as his old man and brother. The smooth sweet talker, though he hadn't graduated passed the stage of kissing girls get. Or so Tara plainly stated after confronting the hormonal teenager one day.

Then there was baby Faith. She was all kinds of loving, caring and adorable in Tara's eyes. She was definitely a daddy's girl until she noticed that she only saw her father occasionally. She was warm hearted with Tara's personality but had a hint of her fathers too. She was the perfect mix of both Jax and Tara with Tara's dark hair and Jax's baby blue eyes which was the only trait one could see if she stood beside both of her brothers.

Her train of thought was broken when she felt an arm wrap around her waist. "Thinking too hard ma?" Abel asked kissing his mother's cheek and reaching for an apple in the fruit bowl on the granite bench top in their kitchen.

"Something like that baby. Are your brother and sister ready?" Tara asked after pouring herself a cup of coffee.

"Just about" Abel pulled out his tablet and began tapping away. Tara was always curious as to what he wrote so one night she snooped through his shit looking for one thing in particular. His tablet held a lot of stories in them. Most of them were personal that Tara almost wished she'd never gone snooping in the first place, but now, she was glad she had.

Abel was an unusual kid. He was quiet unless someone threatened his family. He always kept to himself and never did any harm in school unless again, it had something to do with his family.

Both Abel and Thomas could always count on their family trademark to get them places. The long line of girls falling for them and the bad boy persona they seemed to have inherited from their father, Thomas wasn't too far behind his brother who seemed to drop his pants for almost any girl who batted her lashes his way.

It was no secret that everyone knew who the Teller family was or that they'd finally moved home.

The adjustment moving from their four bedroom home in Sacramento to their five bedroom one in Charming wasn't at all hard on Tara or her kids. The kids knew the real reason as to why they moved but Tara always told them otherwise.

"I trust you to make sure your sister is up right Abel?" Tara asked knowing her schedule was well over head. Being the head of the neonatology department at St Thomas and having one of the best skills in her field, they couldn't pass up the risk of not having her operate on a premature infant that was being born as they spoke.

"Yes ma I will. What's the rush?" Abel asked seeing Tara had found what she was looking for.

"I have an early surgery today baby and I don't know how long it would take. I need you to make sure your sister does her homework and that Thomas is home before I get back. Have dinner cooked and Faith in bed please" Tara listed off. "THOMAS? FAITH?" Tara yelled out from the hallway.

"Gees ma calm down" Thomas cried out pulling Tara in for a kiss followed by their little dark haired haired blue eyed sister who was the perfect combination of both Jax and Tara.

"Thank god you both have ears. Look as I was saying to Abel, I want you to have your homework done little bit" Tara said using her daughter's nickname.

"I will mommy" Faith answered.

"And you to be home before I get back" Tara said aiming her demand at her youngest son "listen to Abel too" Tara said.

Thomas rolled his eyes but nodded in understanding.

"Love you ma" Abel rasped.

"Love you too baby" Tara stated before kissing Abel on the cheek when he nodded in reply then high tailing it out of the house.

-o0o-

When she arrived in her reserved park at St Thomas for another adrenaline pumping day she inhaled deeply before making her way up to her office. She needed to prep for surgery and hope to hell that someone updated her soon.

"Dr Knowles?" A soft but yet demanding voice boomed from behind her stopping Tara in her tracks. She turned and started for Karyn who was the administrator who just so happened to make the move to Charming from Sutter medical not long before Tara moved her family.

"Karyn" Tara greeted pulling her side bag over her shoulder and waiting for the update on the premature infant. In full Doctor mode now, Tara listened intently on the case she was gonna be working on.

"I'll update you on the way to your office" Tara nodded in reply. "The infant was born eleven weeks premature and is suffering tears in his abdomen. It's not looking good. From what I can tell it's the use of the mother's drug habit that caused those severe injuries. I've got a copy of her file on record right here and it seems her family gene carries a serious case of the congenital heart defect which is the result of infants heart not functioning properly. We need to go in and repair the heart fast. I didn't know the extent of the injuries until she was born fifteen minutes ago." Tara could only nod.

It wasn't often that she got a similar case to her own sons and it shocked her. She stopped short needing to take a breather which had Karyn furrowing her brows. "Is everything okay Dr Knowles?" Karyn asked.

"Yes. I'm fine. I just needed a moment to collect my thoughts. What operating room is he in?" Tara asked.

-o0o-

After a long ass day in surgery, Tara was happy with the results. Currently sitting and typing away at her computer, she was glad she made another difference in another newborn's life. It was the strangest coincidence being that performing this surgery for the first time back at St Thomas, she had performed the exact same surgery on an unhealthy boy who captured her heart the moment she first laid eyes on him.

Tara sat day dreaming about the time she saved Abel and how Abel somehow saved her from the downward spiral she incurred when she moved back after ten years. It was truly a story she would live to tell.

"Dr Knowles?" Karyn rasped peeking her head through Tara's door. Tara looked up at her friend and smiled.

"Karyn, please come in" Tara said standing up and gesturing for her patients seat.

"I heard the surgery went well. That's amazing Tara" Tara smiled proudly as they both took their seats.

"Thanks. It was pretty challenging but I'm glad we pulled through. Baby Hobson is a fighter."

"I'm really glad to hear that. Her father is here now though and wants to thank you personally. If your writing up your report then save it for the morning. It's late and you earned your free ticket out of here for the night" Karyn stated with a chuckle.

"Well then don't mind me. Let's go and see her father while I check her over" Tara insisted.

"Dr Knowles, you have no idea how much this means to me. Thank you so much for saving my daughter" father Hobson stated with deep and compassionate sincerity. Tara could see the tears almost wanting to fall from the man's eyes and she offered him a pat on his shoulder. She could tell he was more scared for his daughter and that it must have taken a lot of courage for him to stand here and see his daughter's small sickly state. Father Hobson couldn't of been older than thirty from what Tara could tell.

"I know how it feels Mr Hobson. Trust me, I've been there."

"You have?" James asked looking up just as a tear escaped his eyelids.

"I have. My son was born the same way your daughter was. I saved his life and it was the best feeling ever" Tara smiled at the little flashback of the time before looking in on baby Hobson.

"Really? I mean, shut me up if I'm mistaken but wouldn't you have been laid up after surgery and that if your son ended up like how my kid and her mother are?"

"That's true, I would've but I didn't give birth to my son. His biological mother was a drug addict who cared more for herself than for her own son" Tara stated with slight distaste.

James nodded in understanding before he closed his hand on the glass separating himself from his little girl. "How old is he? Your son I mean."

"He's almost fifteen. He has his days but the drugs didn't cause any major life long damages to him. It's more the heart defect. With special care and the updated medical facilities the world introduces, I'm confident your daughter has a healthy fighting chance at life. I could also recommend you the meds I use for my children. It's harmless for babies and it gives you more of an understanding for when she grows into a wonderful little girl" Tara smiled softly as she glanced in at the little life she saved just hours ago.

"That would help a lot. Thanks doc" James said. He didn't care if he was overstepping any boundaries but he needed to hug this woman who saved his girl's life. Tara also saved him from making the biggest mistake in his life.

"Dr Knowles wait up a second" a voice Tara dreaded to hear at the end of her shift asked as she rounded the last corner before the entrance into the hospital. She stopped with a deep sigh and turned to face the man asking of her. "Thanks doc. Listen, I hear you gave a little girl her fighting chance at life" Samuel Pearson who was a working resident at St Thomas stated with a cheery grin.

"I did. It wasn't that all complicated really. I've done a few similar of the baby's case and it was good putting my skills to work" Tara stated.

"Yeah I heard about you saving your son when he was born" Samuel stated catching Tara off guard slightly. She'd only just met this person and she in no way had spoke to anyone about her personal life. Before she could address his last statement though, he was eager to continue. "Listen, if you don't mind me asking but I really need the up skills on my learning ability and was wondering if you could mentor me in any way? I've heard your really good at your job and I'd like to use the opportunity while working side by side with you?" Tara stopped walking and faced the dark wavy haired man. He flashed her a hesitant and nervous smile while his hands gripped his leather satchel almost as if he thought she would say no.

"Yes okay. That's fine by me. Just take it up with Karyn. I'm off for the night but when I'm not busy I'll take you up on your request. One thing you must know about me though Samuel is I don't muck around. I teach those who want to be taught. Those who love the same passion as me. Understood?" Tara asked seriously.

"Yes ma'am. Thank you Dr Knowles. I look forward to working with you" Tara shook his hand and offered him a soft smile before heading out.

She had a nervous streak to her when she felt someone was interrogating her in any way but she put that feeling aside thinking better than to judge anyone and headed home. The front and kitchen light was on when she arrived in her driveway and she smiled tiredly. When she stepped over the threshold she could see the faint flicker from the TV in the lounge and smiled before heading in there.

Stopping short when she saw Abel cuddled up on the couch with his sister was a site she hardly saw anymore and it swelled her heart with pride. Thomas had dozed off on the recliner with his head twisted in an awkward position causing Tara to chuckle. Wanting nothing more but to freeze this moment forever, she was pulled out of her thoughts when Thomas stirred in his sleep.

Pushing herself off of the wall, Tara pulled the throw over over her babies before laying it over them, placing soft and sweet kisses to their foreheads so as not to wake them before hauling herself off to bed.

 **AN. So here is the next update which I'm happy with. It would be great to here your guys thoughts so please review.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer. I do not own Sons of Anarchy or any of the characters. Just the unfamiliar ones. Thank you all for taking your time out to read each chapter along with my other stories and to those who review.**

Tara thought long and hard later that night in bed. She'd been constantly thinking about what forced her move back to Charming in the first place. With constantly telling herself and her teenage children that it was for the job move, she knew she couldn't kid herself. She hated how the past three years of her life took its toll on her and the kids and tried hiding her fears of letting them see that.

Connor Malone was more than a person that she couldn't ignore but she was determined to for as long as she could. He was someone Tara wished she'd never crossed paths with. Someone who she feared to no end. Someone she was- if she could admit to herself- the man who had her running from the one place where she thought she was free of violence and fear. The place where she chose to settle down and raise her babies into the well mannered but yet slightly dangerous- by looks and genes rather than anything else- teenage boys that they were today. They were well on their way to making a name for themselves. They were, after all Jackson Tellers offspring. God's gift to women.

The next morning Tara was the first up. After her morning routine of showering, changing and brushing her teeth for the day, she got the coffee pot going and breakfast for her babies ready.

"Morning ma" Abel rasped leaning into kiss his mother on the cheek while stealing a piece of bacon. "You look like shit. Did you even get much sleep last night?"

"Gee thanks baby and no I didn't. I had a lot on my mind." Tara barely slept at all actually but there was nothing she could do about that.

"I can tell. What's the occasion?" He asked seeing a pot of scrambled eggs, another of simmered tomatoes and a plate of toast and the smell of bacon grilling in the oven.

"Can't I cook breakfast for my kids?" Tara snapped. Abel sensing that he hit a sore spot sighed apologetically and pulled his mother in for a hug.

"I'm sorry and I guess it couldn't hurt." Abel knew things were different in the past three years. He wasn't blind as to what went on around him and he always knew when his mother closed herself off which is what she was doing right now so he tried doing his best to keep that Tara away by stealing another bacon.

"Abel" she snapped. "If you keep taking them then there's not gonna be enough for Thomas and Faith." Abel rolled his eyes with a smirk and kissed his mother again.

"There's the mom I remember" he grinned causing Tara to smile sadly. "Thomas and Faith are about done. Want me to take them to school again?"

"No it's okay. I have a late start and there's someplace I should stop by first" Tara hesitantly stated.

"Like the clubhouse?" Abel asked knowingly. "Honestly ma, I really don't think you'd be welcome there. Do you want me to come with? It would be cool to see where dad spent most of his life."

"No I don't want you to come and I know I won't be but I have to do something so I'm gonna invite them around for dinner. If I'm gonna live here again then I need to gain their trust back and it's for yours, Thomas' and Faiths' best interest that I do so."

Abel narrowed his eyes at his mother. "So he is the reason why we moved back. Goddamn it ma how did you get caught up with him in the first place?" Tara just glared at her eldest son. "Shit I'm sorry ma. I just can't help how I feel" Abel stated simply. Wrapping his arm around Tara, he curled into the crook of her neck. He hated that his mother had moved on from his father even though she deserved the best but a man like Connor was far from what he expected as a second father type whatever bullshit people called it.

Tara smiled softly and inhaled her baby boys sweet scented shampoo. "I miss this baby" Tara rasped softly. "And I'm sorry I've neglected you, Thomas and Faith but things are changing. Moving back here was something that I needed to do."

"That's in the past now ma. We're where we belong. Give it time. The guys will come around and when they do-" he let his mind wonder to all the unknown possibilities.

"I know" Tara replied after a moments silence. "Anyway, I don't wanna tell your brother and sister about inviting them for dinner in case they say no so don't tell them anything."

"Your secrets safe with me" planting one last kiss to her cheek, he snatched one last bacon with a smirk when she glared playfully at him. "I'll tell handsome and brat upstairs to hurry it up."

"Stop calling them that Abel" Tara yelled out over her shoulder. Just then Thomas came strolling in all his blonde haired glory which always had Tara watching him in awe. He was definitely his fathers son.

"Hm, is that bacon?" Thomas rasped stepping inside the kitchen when he dropped his bag on the floor in the foyer and stepped between his brother to plant a kiss on Tara's cheek and to snatch a piece of toast for himself.

"Gees is anyone in this house willing to let me cook?" Tara chuckled. "Just wait Thomas. Is Faith ready?"

"Just about." While she got toast set on four sets of plates, she layered her scrambled eggs over one toast for each then reached for the pot of simmered tomatoes placing that on three plates knowing Faith didn't like tomatoes, then laid out a few slices each of bacon then finally set each plate on the table.

"So how was school yesterday?" Tara asked as hoping to catch up with her babies.

"It was boring ma. I already know what they're teaching us in math and I hate my english teacher. She's mean" Faith answered with honesty.

"Now now Faith, there's no need for that type of language. I just so happen to know your english teacher and she's far from mean" Tara stated looking pointedly at her youngest as the family of four dug in. "So don't give me that. What's really bugging you?" Tara pushed knowing something was wrong with her daughter. She wasn't the usual cheery type of girl that she usually was, considering that she loved bacon for breakfast.

"It's nothing mommy" Faith said biting on her bottom lip. Tara could tell she was hiding something but Faith was quick to change the subject. "Thomas wasn't home before you ma. He was out all night" Faith confessed causing Thomas who was sitting opposite her and next to Tara to glare at his only sister.

"You little-"

"I wouldn't finish that if I were you Thomas Teller" Tara snapped. She had a feeling he was out mixing with the wrong crowd by the change of his usually up kept appearance. "What is your sister talking about?" Tara asked when she placed her knife and fork down and looked at her youngest son.

"Don't worry about it ma. It's nothing I couldn't handle on my own" Thomas shrugged. He sent his sister a glare causing Faith to smirk slowly before she put on a face.

"Mommy, Tommy's being mean" Faith whined.

"Thomas stop it and Faith stop telling on your brother. One day your gonna need him and he might just not make it to your rescue little bit" Tara stated causing Faith to huff. Tara bit the inside of her cheeks knowing that her daughter thought she could've gotten away with it but she was fast on the way her daughter responded to her older brothers. "I'm cooking dinner for Karen and I expect you to be here tonight Thomas" Tara stated.

"What for? I've got plans with some mates."

"Well change them. With less hours here I plan on spending most of my spare time with my family so get used to it."

"It never seemed to bother you before" Thomas muttered under his breath before he picked his plate up. "I'll walk to school. Thanks for breakfast." Even though he was rude, she was grateful that she taught him some manners.

"So your gonna be here for dinner right?" Tara asked stopping her son from heading out the door.

"Sure."

"Leave him be ma. He's just as stubborn as me" Abel exclaimed.

Tara narrowed her eyes at her eldest son before dropping her knife and fork on the table. "Okay if you have something to say then just spit it out."

"It doesn't matter anymore" Abel rasped low. Tara, like most parents hated how their teenager would say something then completely back track and forget what they'd wanted to say. It drove Tara up the wall but she'd since learnt how to just roll her eyes and forget whatever it was that brought them there in the first place.

After the big breakfast clean up Tara was rushing around making sure she had everything. "Thomas? Faith hurry up before your late." It was a usual routine now and Tara couldn't help but chuckle to herself.

"Do you need me to get anything for dinner?" Abel asked.

"Are you really offering?"

"No. I'm just being a kind son. The offer will be off the table if you-"

"Fine, okay" Tara abruptly stated in a hurry before he could finish his sentence.

"I've already got a list. Just follow everything. Here's some money and I want a receipt. Make sure you get the blue labelled roast too please. "Ill be home in time to make dinner."

"Okay Ma."

-o0o-

After dropping the kids off at school Tara had a few hours to spare before her shift started for the day so she anxiously made her way to the clubhouse. Continuously giving herself a pep talk as she roamed the streets of Charming, she couldn't keep the nerves from fluttering around in her stomach.

She felt like shit for how she treated them the last time she saw them and hoped that this would be a piece offering.

It was strange to pull into the clubhouse knowing her estranged husband was no longer the president. She scoffed internally when the thought of Jax came to her mind. The clubhouse looked rather new considering the last time she was here it was burnt to the ground.

The last time she was here, she was going through a difficult stage in her life. She was terrified and feared for the safety of hers and her sons lives. The shit she had to do to get out of the cesspool only to drown back into it slowly. She hated the deceit and how she went to such lengths of faking a miscarriage to gain her husbands attention. Still to this day she hated herself for doing that shit to the man she supposedly loved. She couldn't help but remember the time he confessed that he cheated on her with the same woman twice.

And even though it was long ago, it still hurt to this day.

She casually gazed to her left and spotted the sight that warmed her heart a little as she parked. A full row of SAMCRO bikes were displayed in the same parking spot with cars that no doubt needed working on opposite them.

Tara checked herself over and straightened out her dark blue peplum dress before inhaling deeply. She'd definitely overdressed but she had a meeting later in the day and needed to look the part of a doctor.

It hadn't surprised her that for the first time since stepping on the property, it felt completely natural. She didn't feel out of place- apart from her chosen outfit- and didn't feel a whole load of weight on her shoulders like she thought she would.

It was as if she was meant to be here.

Her thoughts were soon cut off when she spotted a few bikers coming out of the clubhouse stopping in their tracks when she did.

"Sorry lady, we ain't open until nine and the garage is-" an unfamiliar voice Tara had never heard before stated before he was cut off by the curly haired man who shoved his arm at him. "Shit man, what the hell?" Tara looked the man who wore a fresh leather Kutte up and down and raised a brow.

"Benny, go back inside and tell the guys to come out" he ordered causing the Benny to huff but did as he was told while Tara stayed frozen to her spot watching as Tig advanced on her slowly.

"Never thought we'd hear from you again. You have any idea how much shit we got for what you pulled Tara?"

Tara sighed deeply and crossed the short distance hesitantly and raised her black ray ban wayfarers. "That's why I'm here. To apologize" Tara rasped softly.

"Hey pres Tig's outside. Wanted me to tell you all to go outside" Benny informed as he looked around the clubhouse seeing Bobby, Chibs, Happy, Quinn, Cortez and Rat along with the prospects behind the bar.

"What for?" Chibs asked curiously as he stood from his stool at the table hating that his morning brew had been interrupted.

"No idea. Was about to open the garage when a stranger was heading this way."

"What type of stranger?"

"Uptight bitch. Like a debt collector or some shit."

Bobby spat out the intake of coffee he just took causing the contents to splatter in front of him as he looked at the latest patched member of SAMCRO. "Come again boy?"

"I said she looks like a debt collector-" he didn't have time to finish as all the guys in the room fled the clubhouse thinking they misheard.

"Tara?" Chibs asked in shock as he stood in the doorway blocking the other club members from laying their eyes on the brunette Doctor.

By now Tara had moved across the lot but made no attempt to touch the curly haired biker or take a seat at the picnic table as she spotted the guys coming out one after the other.

Tara could hear low whispers from members she didn't know of and the ones from members she did know of and sighed deeply before looking elsewhere.

Her wondering eyes caught the sign that bore the last name of her children and she gasped in shock. Teller Automotive. The small family business that once was known as Teller-Morrow Automotive, was now under a single last name. She didn't know whether to feel honoured that they kept his last name and taken Morrow out or sick that it was there to begin with. Whatever feeling she felt had her making a run for the safety of her SUV before she stopped in her tracks at the booming voice that came from behind her.

"Get your ass back here. Where the hell are you running to now?" It wasn't the current president's voice she heard but that of Happy Lowman. One of the three men she grew close to not long before she kicked them out of her life three years ago.

 _Flashback seven years into Jax's incarceration- 3 years ago._

"Mommy?"

"Yeah baby girl?"

"Who's that man you've been seeing?" Faith asked. It was no surprise that her seven year old daughter didn't let much past her. She liked to observe a lot and seeing as she clung to Happy Lowman whenever he was around, it was adaptive for her daughter to not act like him. Faith just loved her uncle Happy.

"What man?" Happy rasped catching both Tara and Faith off guard as he came into the living room.

"Uncle Hap" she cheered and leapt off the couch and into her uncle's waiting arms. "I missed you uncle Hap" Faith exclaimed as she curled into his neck with her arms wrapping around him tight.

"I missed you too angel but about this man now?"

"Oh yes, that's right" Faith said as a little reminder. "Mommy's seeing a man. Does that mean daddy and mommy won't get back together?" Faith asked a little sad causing Tara to lay back in slight frustration and hurt hearing her daughter's tone.

"It's complicated Faith. Your father's going to be gone a long time. I can't exactly wait for him" she knew right away that the words didn't feel or sound right but she'd slowly begun losing hope. Jax was after all locked up for sixteen years and there was nothing she could do about it.

Faith scrambled out of her uncle's arms and ran up to her room slamming the door causing Happy to glare at her.

"What? Don't fucking stand there and look at me like that. You know damn well if the roles were reversed, he wouldn't have a fucking problem replacing me right away. Hell, I can remember the day he told me he fucked around when I was locked up for him. He couldn't keep his dick in his pants for two whole weeks and here I am. I've been a faithful wife for fucking years. I can't even remember the last time I had sex because it was that long ago. What I do with my life is my business Happy" she hadn't even seen Tig and Chibs walk in behind him but they made themselves known when they stepped into the living room.

"What's going on luv?" Chibs asked after hearing her voice from outside.

"Perfect" she sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "Well, seeing as I don't want to repeat myself I'll say it to you all right now. Whatever money Jax sends for the kids, keep it. Don't care what you do with it but I no longer need or want it. Never have in the first place."

"Tara-" Chibs tried cutting in but she stopped him.

"I'm seeing someone and there's nothing either of you or Jax could do about that. I'm a grown ass fucking woman and it's about time I put myself first and stop hanging out with a bunch of bikers. I'm a doctor for fucks sakes and I'm sitting at home hanging out with you three" she inhaled a much needed breath before finishing. "Now, I'm sorry to do this but I think it's in my best interest and the interest of my three children that you three and the rest of the guys stop coming around. I need to move on with my life."

"But mommy" Faith cried with her bottom lip trembling as she clung to her uncle Chibs now.

Tara knew deep down it was gonna break her little girl's heart and it was slowly hurting hers too but she couldn't go on like this. Connor was right. She kept bad company and they weren't good for her family.

"Your making a big mistake Tara" Tig warned as he tended to the crying little girl in Chibs arms.

"Well if I do then I'd happily take the fall for it but until then I don't want to see, speak or even hear from you guys."

"Chibs, get Faith settled upstairs and see where the boys are while I talk with her mother" Happy ordered low to stop himself from snapping in front of Faith. When he heard Chibs walking upstairs with Tara watching after him, he began pacing the room.

"How long have you been seeing him?"

"Not that it's any of your business but I don't have to justify myself to you." She sighed deeply running her hands through her long dark hair. "But if you must know, I've been seeing him for a few months now. He's a nice man and cares a lot about my boys and Faith."

"Sounds like a possessive mother fucker. Was he the one who put you up to this?" Happy asked after a moments silence.

"What? No. I just think it's best for everyone. I can't live my life on hold anymore Happy." He could tell she was lying straight to his face but he didn't wanna call her out on it.

"You know what Jax is gonna say-"

"I don't give a shit what Jax is gonna say. He told me all those years ago that I could move on with my life. That's what I'm doing ain't it?" Her answer was met with silence and she nodded proving her point.

"Fine. It's your life. Do whatever the fuck you wanna do but if you think your gonna stop us from seeing your kids you've got another thing coming. We didn't spend seven years bonding with them and keeping you all out of trouble for nothing" Happy spat out angry that this was out of his control.

"Sometimes I wish I never went back to Charming in the first place" Tara spat out meeting his anger. She pulled herself up from the couch making her way to the front door.

"If you never went back to Charming then you wouldn't have those three kids now would you Tara?" Without another word, Happy left the house and never once looked back.

 _End of flashback_

Hearing his voice both sent shivers down her spine but relief knowing he was there. "You deaf or something? I asked you a question" Happy demanded now standing within reaching distance. Tara slowly spun around and sighed deeply.

"This was a mistake coming here and I'm sorry" Tara apologized before opening her front door but his hand on her stopped her from moving and she pulled back from the safety of her car.

"Don't go. Sorry" Happy rasped hating how he just acted. "Why are you here?"

By now, the guys had swarmed around them causing Tara to feel a little uncomfortable. "I just wanted to come by and ask you all to dinner. Members only, as a piece offering" Tara asked shyly as all eyes were on her.

"Why now? Did you finally see that the bastard was trying to control you?"

Happy had often checked on Tara and the kids over the past few years but they never spoke face to face. It was more like a drive by or he would park a few houses down then watch from a distance. In those words it sounded creepy but they were family and he made a promise to his brother that he would protect them.

"Please Hap! Don't make this a big deal."

Happy scoffed. "I'll make it a big deal if I want to. You kicked us out of your life Tara. There's no way I'm accepting an easy invitation back in after everything we did for you. Everything I did for you." Happy spun on his heel making his way back to the clubhouse while Chibs blocked her from watching him.

"Just let him be luv, it's nice to see you and don't get me wrong but why the sudden change of heart? He's got a point. It's been three years and you haven't once reached out to us. I can't help but think something's wrong" Chibs rasped causing Tara to flinch slightly.

"Nothing's wrong. I just-" she sighed again and scratched frustratedly at her head before reaching into her hand bag for a pen and notebook. She scribbled down a few words before tearing at the paper and handing it to him. "Look, here's my address. Dinner's at eight. I hope you can make it. I'm making the kids favorite and a pot roast. I haven't told them yet but I'm hoping to surprise them" Tara whispered hating that she could finally see clearly now and realized just what a huge mistake Connor was.

Chibs let her go and watched as she slid into the driver's seat before taking her time with backing out and leaving the lot.

 **AN. Okay so if I haven't made it clear, Tara hadn't seen any of the guys for three years after a little misunderstanding. Please review. If there are still readers interested in this story then I hope this makes up for the long ass wait.**

 **Finally up next is the dinner.**


	6. Chapter 6

_AN. Okay so I have royally fucked up. Like truly and honestly fucked up. The last author's note was a false one. Whatever I had said, ruined everything so I went back and deleted that AN._

 _First point I'd like to bring to your attention if any of you even care about these things is that I got the whole timeline messed up after realizing it now._

 _FORGET WHAT I HAD SAID IN THE AU I PREVIOUSLY MADE_

 _I've corrected my errors and fucked up mistakes and quite frankly, I'm pissed off with myself about it._

 _I have already gone and deleted what I'd originally written for chapter 6 * which was the Author's note* and chapter which is the chapter coming up below._

 _IF YOU WANT TO SKIP THIS AN THEN JUST SCROLL DOWN BUT I'M SURE YOU WOULD WANT TO READ AHEAD BEFORE ANYTHING._

 _Without giving too much away, the following chapters NEED to stay at ten years later so I'd like to state right here that in the present of the chapters now and following will be set ten years after chapter 3 and not thirteen years later._

 _So to correct the age timeline between the characters, Abel is fifteen, Thomas is thirteen and Faith is ten._

 _Second point._

 _This means that Abel IS NOT going off to college in the fall as he is still in his junior year of high school like I state in chapter four which brings me to my third point. Sadly Chelsea is not in the story *although her memory will live on, she just wasn't cut out to make the story any longer. I didn't want Abel's attention being deflected elsewhere and he is still a new boy in town so he doesn't have a girlfriend._

 _Forth point._

 _When, after I realized my biggest mistake, I'd gone through chapters 4 and 5 to tweak out any existence of Chelsea unless she comes up in upcoming chapters with Karyn. I've also added a few things here and there of the family and changed a few also._

 _Although the above paragraph alone is not a major concern and no other important details were taken out or thrown in, you don't have to read over the first five chapters unless you really want too._

 _And finally, this leads me to my final and last point._

 _I have readjusted chapter 6 and 7 seeing as 6 was an author's note so I deleted that and put what was originally chapter 7 as chapter 6 and am currently updating the latest of my chapters._

 _It may seem confusing and I hope that I haven't lost any readers because of this royal fuck up but here is the correct timeline._

 _So in saying that... the chapter below may already seem familiar because it was first chapter 7._

Moving on with this massive rant now, I hope you all stick with me on this.

After locking herself in her office all morning and afternoon typing away at a few reports, her mind continuously skipped out on her. She couldn't concentrate much knowing that the guys most likely wouldn't accept her dinner invitation.

But she got through the day, made it through the meeting that was sprung on her earlier that morning and she'd spoken with Samuel sometime and arranged a one on one briefing in the near future after Karyn had informed her he had permission to sit and assist. Tara had also made sure her son and Chelsea had invited Karyn around for dinner to which the woman answered with a yes and also informed her that a few possible people could be in attendance.

Karyn knew of Tara's past and her history in Charming so she wasn't as gullible as people appeared when dealing with the club. She was glad to be invited in the first place. Somehow Karyn was the type of person that would take a shining to the men in leather so she couldn't wait.

When Tara pulled into her driveway a little after 4pm she made quick work changing into something a little more comfortable before starting on the two different meals for her kids and the guys.

"Whoa, are you cooking for an army or something ma cause I thought it was just gonna be us and Karyn?" Thomas stated as he looked around the kitchen seeing Tara overworking with dinner and made his way towards the kitchen for a bottled water in the fridge.

"I know. I want tonight to be special though." Thomas furrowed his brow but shrugged after seeing a text message from a friend. "Well, I'm going for a fast run, what time is dinner?"

Tara noticed now that Thomas was wearing his running gears but narrowed her eyes. "Eight. You better not be lying to me to get out of this Thomas. I expect you home before seven to shower."

"You got it ma. Bud let's go" he made sure he had one of their two family friendly golden retrievers attached to his leash and swiftly made his way out of the house hoping to get a long enough run in before the boring dinner he no doubt would have no interest in.

-o0o-

7pm past before 8 had finally come. Thomas was back a half hour early to Tara's surprise and was locked away in his room with Buddy. Faith had showered and fed her golden retriever Tammy and done her homework while Abel entertained Karyn in the lounge by just sitting on the couch watching some show while occasionally switching out from the TV to his phone.

"Faith, can you get Thomas and tell him dinner's ready?" Tara informed as she platted the last dish on the large mahogany table.

"What's with the extra place settings?" Thomas asked before Faith had the chance to.

"Uh-" before she could answer, their ears were on high alert of the familiar motorcycles coming towards them.

"Your kidding me?" Thomas asked as he snuck a look out the kitchen window. He waited a few moments as the rumbling edged closer and closer to their house before a wicked grin masked his face. "No way" he high tailed it out of the kitchen with Faith on his heel. Abel was next, Karyn wore confused looks while Tara stood in complete surprise having thought they would've turned down her invitation.

-o0o-

"It's almost eight brother, are you coming?" Chibs asked as he slapped both Tig and Happy on the back of their shoulders. He, Bobby and Quinn were forthcoming with the idea of having dinner with Tara and the kids. They couldn't wait actually. Chibs and Quinn were far too excited about seeing the kids that they went out and got a few presents while Bobby kicked up a helluva storm in the kitchen making a few of their favorite sweets.

"Does it look like I wanna start world war three in front of the kids?" Happy scoffed while Tig raised his glass toasting to that.

"You're a bunch of bikers moping over a mother who was only doing what she thought was good for her kids. Get over yourselves" Bobby stated with a roll of his eyes. "Get your asses outside and on your bike or I swear to god you both won't be on watch at Caracara, Redwoody and Diosa which means no pussy for the next week" Bobby declared.

Tig and Happy both glared at Bobby who shrugged his shoulders making his way out of the clubhouse. Their president's threat was clear and lingering thick in the air as Tig watches the rest of the club head out.

"Think he meant that?" Tig asked even though there was no problem with his piece of ass at home, he was curious about how Happy would take that.

Happy sent Tig a glare but stayed seated at the bar downing the last of his beer before he pushed off his stool heading for his dorm room with no intentions of making it to the dinner.

-o0o-

Arriving at the new Teller-Knowles home, Bobby, Chibs, Quinn, Rat, Cortez, Benny and a begrudging Tig all lined up along the road pulling their helmets off as they found their bearings along the sidewalk.

"She did good for herself I see" Quinn said breaking the awkward silence.

"Doesn't mean she's forgiven" Tig snapped.

"Now now tiger. Must you remember why she did that in the first place." The ever so sweet southern accent of the one and only Venus Van Dam stated with a little sass to her as she looked over to her fiery better half. "You know I love you tiger but I love Tara and her babies more. If you step one foot out of line I swear to-" Venus didn't have time to finish her sentence as they heard Thomas Teller's booming voice advancing on them. A chorus of uncles sung out from the little girl who was hot on her brothers tail followed by a laid back Abel who casually strode towards them.

"Little Thomas, is that you?" Chibs asked as Thomas pulled in the first member within arms reach. "Aye it is?" Chibs grinned from ear to ear picking the younger fellow up. "Look ay yah."

"Uncle Quinn" Faith cheered leaping into the hulk like of a biker.

"Look at you three" Bobby grinned after the much needed reunion took place between the bikers and the three now grown terrors who'd given them all grieve at one stage in their toddler live's.

"My sugars. Come give your aunt Veve some loving on" Venus cheered with delight as she leaned forward with open arms after handing her rhubarb pie to the prospect.

"Aunt Venus" Faith chuckled as she and her brothers embraced her one after the other.

"It is mighty fine to see you beautiful colored eyed beauty's in Charming again. Where's that sweet mother of yours?"

"Inside aunt Veve."

"Well I shall go and see my best friend."

Although Faith was more than ecstatic to see her uncle's present before her, she couldn't help the frown that crossed her face as she noticed her most favorite Son wasn't standing among them. Before she could address the issue, Chibs and Bobby had noticed her look of slight change of demeanor and spoke up before she could.

"Chibs, Rat, Quinn, go get the kids their presents."

"What? Did I hear presents?" Faith asked, gleaming with her eyes bright, she cast a look in the three mentioned Sons who were grinning from ear to ear. "You didn't?"

"We did" Quinn responded, slipping a few of his wrapped gifts, he pulled them from Faith's reach with a raised brow and a knowing look. "Inside first" Quinn stated looking towards the now preoccupied front patio seeing Tara with Venus and two women he had no knowledge of. "Who are they?"

"My sweet sugar. It seems I lost my invitation to your dinner tonight so I hope I'm not crashing any" Tara heard the never forgettable southern accent as it flowed into her home. She almost sprinted toward the front door and ran full force for the woman.

"Venus. I'm so glad you could make it. I missed that sweet friend of mine" Tara cried as she clung to her friend. "And you haven't crashed anything. The invitation was open to all."

"Oh I missed you too sugar. Uh oh and who are these beautiful women?"

Faith followed Quinn's line of sight and beamed. "Mom? Why didn't you tell us?" She asked while slowly jogging up towards her mother.

Tara smiled from ear to ear and pulled her daughter in. "In all honesty baby, I didn't think they'd make it."

Faith sent her mother a knowing look before the sound of a lone rider entered the neighborhood.

"Well I'm more than happy that we moved back ma."

"Happy" Faith screamed in delight from the top of her lungs while running full force towards him.

Abel and Thomas followed in suit while the guys greeted Tara with warm and warning hugs to watch out for Happy and his mood swings.

"Guess he changed his mind" Chibs chuckled knowingly.

"Guys, I want you to meet Karyn, my boss at work and friend after hours. Karyn, these are the men that have been in my children's lives for as long as I can remember. This is Bobby, the president, Chibs his Vice, Tig, Quinn, Rat, Cortez and I'm sorry but I didn't catch your name earlier" Tara introduced pointing from one member to the other before landing on the prospect.

"Benny. It's nice to meet one of the original old lady's of the club. I'm honored to-" Whatever else Benny was gonna say was cut off by Tara gesturing her hand in front of him to stop talking.

"Okay Benny. Let's get one thing straight. I'm not an original old lady of the club but was once the matriarch so please don't ever refer me to that title again. Tara will be just fine."

"But-"

"No buts Benny" Tara stated with a reassuring smile and a friendly hand to his shoulder.

"Tara here is our only matriarch Benny. Always was and always will" Bobby stated.

"Bobby-" Tara tried cutting in to correct him only to be shut down by his stern look.

"Mama. Look, I thought Uncle Hap wasn't gonna come but he did" Faith stated in excitement as she pushed through the small crowd while pulling the enforcer inside.

Once everyone was settled inside the three teenage kids couldn't wait to see what Chibs, Quinn and Rat had gotten them.

"Kids, say thank you to the guys."

A round of thank you hugs came from the boys while Faith pecked each one on the cheek.

"Okay let's sit down for dinner before it burns" Tara rasped.

While dinner was being served, a steady and safe flow of conversations were being held. Most of the guys asked Abel, Thomas and Faith what they'd been upto over the years they hadn't made contact but it was as if time didn't change a thing.

Faith demanded to sit next to Quinn and Happy while Thomas sat between Quinn and Chibs. Abel didn't care where he sat as long as he had a table full of uncles reminding him of all the dinners they used to host back when they were younger.

He was partly grateful that Tara had invited Karyn knowing his mother would in some ways receive a cold shoulder but was glad that most of the guys had spoken to her as if nothing happened.

Once dinner was complete, a show of dishes were piled to the max on the kitchen counter while a room full of biker's sat around in the lounge still chatting away with the kids and reminiscing on the past.

"Well, I see why you moved back. You hang with a loving crowd" Karyn admitted. She'd loved the welcoming feeling she got from the guys. She wasn't one to judge a book by its cover and was surprised that they welcomed her with opening arms. They made the effort to get to know her and what she did for a living, especially Venus who loved to take care of her boys in the absence of the matriarch. They could see that even though Tara had made a few mistakes in the past, making a friend out of Karyn wasn't one of them. The guys felt as if they could do the same too.

Tara offered a soft smile. "You'd think they're a bunch of women who gossip at a country club or something" Tara chuckled as she piled a load of dishes into the dishwasher.

"Yeah I know right. I can see why you invited me" Karyn stated raising a brow when Tara looked on innocently. "What? All I'm saying is that they do seem to be a bunch of men who love kids. Yours to be exact" Karyn laughed.

"It's familiar to them. My babies are basically the only club kids they've ever known besides my best friend Opie and Lyla's three."

Karyn smiled politely having heard some about Opie and Lyla.

"Well, this is almost clear. Why don't you head in there with them and I'll finish up."

"No I couldn't. The grounds are still a bit raw between me and a few of the guys so I'd much prefer the safety of these walls instead."

"Oh come on Tara. I saw a bit of that hostility but time will heal. They're not bikers if they don't hold grudges."

Tara did have to agree with that but she didn't want to spoil the night by interacting with the guys.

"I can't."

Tara begrudgingly stayed in the kitchen allowing herself the time to clean the room up while making small talk with Karyn going over a few of her next week's scheduled surgeries.

"Jesus, with all that shit lined up, who's gonna be here watching the kids?" Quinn rasped causing Tara to jump out of her skin at his heavy tone. He smirked and pushed off the wall.

"How long have you been standing there?"

"A while. Didn't wanna interrupt so I went for a smoke out back" Quinn rasped as he took a seat at the table.

"Right."

"So?"

"So? What?" Tara asked furrowing her brows.

"Who's gonna be watching the kids?"

"Oh. Abel's old enough to watch his brother and sister. He's been doing it ever since he and Thomas convinced me not to waste money on a sitter. I trust the boys to do the right thing but every now and again I'll hire a sitter to drop in unexpectedly."

Quinn acknowledged her answer before spinning her files around so he could read over the headlines.

"Uh patient confidentiality Rane" Tara stated sharply and spun her files back the right way before gathering them up into a sorted order then piling them on one another.

Quinn chuckled as he sat back in his seat. "It's good to see you doc. The kids too."

"I'm glad Rane" Tara replied with a bright smile.

"A few of us are about to head out. Is there anything you or the kids need?"

Tara rolled her eyes. Quinn was very much the older protective brother figure in Tara's life along with Happy and Chibs while Bobby gave her the fatherly vibe.

"No. The kids and myself are perfectly fine thank you."

Quinn nodded as he stood with Tara following behind before she gave Tig, Rat and Cortez goodbye hugs.

It was getting late and Tara could tell that her babies weren't getting any sleep tonight while the remaining Sons camped out in the lounge with them. Faith couldn't get enough of Bobby's sweets and eventually Tara had to force her to stop eating so she wouldn't throw up.

 **AN. Thoughts.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Finally, this is the chapter we have all been waiting for. I hope you guys enjoy this insanely long fluffy chapter before that is well worth the long read. I am literally so excited for the next few chapters to come and hope you guys are still hanging with me.**

 **Disclaimer. I do not own Sons of Anarchy or any of the characters. Just the unfamiliar ones. Thank you all for taking your time out to read each chapter along with my other stories and to those who review.**

It was a hot sunny summers Sunday afternoon and Tara had the day off. Two days had passed since dinner the other night and Tara thought she should treat her babies to a family day out seeing as they hadn't had one of those in a while. Making it a surprise, she spent a decent amount of time packing a change of her kids clothes from the laundry she'd just finished folding along with making sure they each had something to swim in.

Her mind briefly slipped back as she thought of her best friend Lyla and decided to flick her a quick text message before resuming her duty as a mother with a smile across her face.

Deciding on having a picnic, she went about making some sandwiches, packed a decent amount of fruit and some snacks.

"Picnic basket" she thought out loud as she tapped her fingernails against the kitchen counter. Garage? She thought before moving toward the laundry room that lead to the connecting side garage door. Searching around in the mess of a garage, it took her a while to find the picnic basket before she heard her sons calling for her.

"Found it" she stated before standing back on her feet and making her way back inside.

"What's all this ma?" Abel rasped as both he and Thomas kissed Tara's cheek in good morning greeting.

"We're heading out for the day so I hope you haven't made any plans."

"Lucky then, I was just about to make some" Thomas rasped as he put his phone down. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see" Tara smiled as she cleaned the picnic basket. "Come on now, get ready."

-o0o-

"This place seems so familiar" Abel rasped after they'd finished their picnic lunch.

Tara smiled softly as she packed a few of the tupperware back into the basket.

Glancing around the hills of green grass that went on for miles along with the sky that eventually met it, Tara couldn't help but inhale the never-forgetting scent that this place brought her as she sat back down. It was always the same sweet natured scent that Tara loved so much. Was partly the reason why she'd fallen in love with the place. Even though it seemed so bland from a short view, it meant a lot to Tara. She had brought them to the meadow Jax had shared with her back when they were teenagers and had often skinny dipped in the small lake just down the hill.

"I always used to bring you boys here. When we lived here." Casting her eyes in the direction of the familiar huge redwood tree that stood out more than the smaller ones surrounding it, she smiled sadly to herself. It was the one place that wasn't poisoned by the club or anything club related. It was just their place.

"What?" Abel rasped after sensing her slight sad demeanor.

Cut from her small trip down memory lane, Tara shook her head. "Nothing baby" she replied to her eldest before looking at her youngest. "We have the rest of the day to swim so do you still want me to braid your hair baby girl?"

"Oh yes please mama, but can you do it after I pick some daisies?"

"Sure thing baby, as long as you make me a daisy chain" Tara said smiling brightly knowing that was why her baby wanted to pick them.

Thomas who sat laid on his back listening to their mother and Faith speaking, he was taken from the moment liking the idea that his father used to bring his mother here. Somehow he felt that it brought him closer to the old man.

"Your the first one I'm making one for mama" Faith grinned wickedly before running off into a field of daisies to pick.

"Think the guys will come back around?" Abel asked hesitantly.

"Sure they would. We're their favourite nephews and niece" Thomas exclaimed as if stating the obvious.

"I hope they do" Abel rasped to no one in particular. He burped slightly before excusing himself then laid down on his back.

Tara kept her mouth tight lipped as she listened to her babies and often found herself checking her phone for a reply from Lyla to which she hadn't gotten yet.

Once Faith had collected a few handfuls, she made her way back. "Let your hair out baby girl, I already have your comb." Tara watched as Faith let her hair out and began combing her comb through it. "Okay baby, sit down" Tara gestured between her open legs where Faith sat comfortably between and started to brush out her daughter's hair.

A smile crossed Abel's face as he glanced up at the leaves on the tree that sheltered them from the burning Californian sun as Faith babbled on about school and her new best friend. He loved hearing how happy Faith was about being in a town that was so small and not to forget the guys who were happily back in their lives.

Birds singing in the rural area along with the small warm breeze that often shook the leaves from side to side was about the only thing Tara and her babies listened to. The silence was very welcoming, especially for hard thinkers like them.

"All done now baby girl" Tara said as she finished tying the end of Faith's French braid.

"Yay. And here you go mama, I made three of them. One for you and one for you too" Faith smiled brightly as she handed her daisy chains to both of her brothers who received them with a thank you smile. "Now I'm gonna go and pick some more seeing as I ran out and make uncle Quinn a daisy chain" Faith exclaimed as she bolted up from her spot on the picnic blanket.

"Think I'm gonna jump into the water" Thomas exclaimed as he rose to his full height. "It's hot as hell out here."

"Think I might join you."

"See who can make the biggest bombs?" Thomas challenged.

"Oh your on brother" Abel grinned evilly as they raced down to the shore of the small lake.

"Hey, you forget sunscreen boys" Tara exclaimed as she reached for the plastic bottle and throwing it in their direction.

"Oh, I think I might join them" Faith exclaimed with gleam as she watched her brother's jumping off the jetty. She made quick work in changing into her swimsuit and applying sunscreen before joining her brothers.

Seeing as she had free time to herself, Tara contemplated reading her latest book novel on some sci-fi but her heart just wasn't in it. Opting to watch her kids up closely, she pulled herself from the picnic blanket before making her way down to the lake and sitting on the shore with her feet slightly touching the edge water. She was thankful that she'd wore a summer dress so she gathered the bottom up and tied it together with a spare hair tie.

-o0o-

"Are we about ready to go home now?" Tara asked. It had been a few hours since she ended up with a tan line after applying some sunscreen and made her way back under the shade.

"No mama, I wanna still make a few more daisy chains."

"Go on then" she wasn't in any hurry to head home yet so she carried on reading the next chapter of her novel.

"I packed some grapes in there if you three are hungry later" Tara rasped catching her daughter's attention like a fly in a trap.

"Where?" Faith spat out in excitement and lunged for the basket of food her mother had packed. She couldn't help but chuckle as Faith reached inside and pulled them out before shielding them as if to stake claim on them.

"Uh-hu" she exclaimed in excitement. "Found them."

"Are you boys hungry? I packed some grapes" Tara announced as her son's made their way back.

"Where? Are they green or purple ones?" Abel exclaimed before he noticed the look Faith was giving him. "You have them don't you?" He grinned evilly down at her.

"Nope" she replied, popping the P as she shook her head no. Faith had never been good with sharing things with other people other than her two brother's but green grapes were her all time favorite and she just had to be selfish.

"Little bit, if you do not share then you leave me with no choice but to pick you up, throw you over my shoulder before I run straight for the water and throw you in" Abel warned.

"You wouldn't" Faith dared to say knowing full well that her big brother definitely would.

"Oh, I would. No one, and I mean no one get's away with not sharing green grapes with me. You know how much I love them" Abel grinned.

"Little bit, I suggest you share those with your brothers" Tara warned.

"And he's just speaking for himself little bit" Thomas chimed in. "I love green grapes too and I'm betting Abel that I can get you before he does" he grinned mastermind as he took advantage of Abel being a few steps behind him and reached out for their sister all the while Tara sat back chuckling as her babies interacted with one another.

"Mama, help me mama, help me" Faith wined but Tara was too late. Thomas had scooped her up before Abel could reach her and made quick work in throwing her fireman style over his shoulder.

"Thomas Teller do not drop your sister" Tara yelled out as her sons barreled down the hill before plunging into the cool water. "I did warn you baby girl" Tara whispered to herself as she laughed.

"Now that you've all had your fun, I think you all deserve a treat" Tara chuckled as she handed an even amount of green grapes to her babies.

"Thanks ma" all three stated in union as they dried off and sat down beside her.

"You think, we can go around the clubhouse? I wanna give Uncle Quinn something" Faith wandered out loud.

Tara had never taken her babies back there since they left and she was a little hesitant to. "Why don't I make a better offer and ask the guys if they wanna come around home for dinner?" Tara questioned. "I was thinking of making shepherd's pie and I could ask Aunt Lyla and the kids around too?"

"Oh yeah that's even better. Then when I go to sleep, they'll be the last ones I see, just like when uncle Quinn or uncle Chibs used to do when I was a baby" Faith gushed over her already made plans about bedtime tonight. "Since Abel and Thomas decided to throw me back into the water and all the daisies I collected blew away, I have to go get some more."

"I managed to salvage enough little bit" Tara stated as she pulled a handful out for her daughter. "Just change before you get more baby girl."

Gushing as if to say it wasn't enough, Faith slumped in her shoulders. "I wanna make one for everyone" she stated simply and nodded about changing before heading off with her bunch of grapes.

"Can I ask you something ma?" Abel rasped as he and Tara watched Faith doing her thing.

"What's that baby?"

"You not wanting to take us to the clubhouse, does it have anything to do with the old man?"

Tara wasn't really prepared for that question and her jaw dropped. Thomas rose onto his side to listen in. Abel had never really expressed how he felt when it came to their father so Tara never really pushed him while Thomas held Jax on a pedestal. Why? She had no idea. He was a thug locked up behind bars but she couldn't fault Jax for trying to be the best dad he could, when given the opportunity.

"Is that why you still haven't taken us to see him?" Thomas questioned. "We've been living in Charming for a few months now mom. We've had the guys around for dinner once."

All the while she sat completely speechless. Composing herself when Faith came running back towards them and throwing the daisy's down at her feet, she could tell they were having a serious conversation.

"Did I just step into something I shouldn't of?" Faith asked as she sat back down.

"Yes" Abel rasped as Tara answered "no."

"Faith," Thomas exclaimed trying to gain her attention as Abel and Tara met eyes for a moment, silently conversing in something. "Why don't you go pick more flowers? I think I want another one and I'm pretty sure uncle Bobby has the biggest wrist. You might need to pick a few more."

Shrugging her shoulders cause she didn't want to be in the middle of this, so she happily stood up and skipped across the small grass field separating them from the car before she changed.

"I'm gonna-" Tara began.

"No your not mom. She may not understand but we do" Abel said cutting Tara off from her intentions of wanting to help her daughter. "Why won't you let us go see dad? That asshole isn't around to dictate our lives now" he growled out a little angrier than he thought. His fists clenched together and his jaw set in place.

"It's complicated boys."

"What's complicated about it mom? All you have to do is ring the prison and ask them to book us in or has that many years gone by that you've forgotten how to do that?"

Tara sighed in defeat and crossed her legs before bringing her hands together and fidgeting slightly making her seem more like the child than her two teenage sons in this moment. "If you want to see him that bad then I'll make the arrangements, just stop nagging me about Jax and Connor." Sighing in defeat, Tara shook her head slowly. "Great way to ruin the day boys" Tara spat out before she stood without further questioning to help her daughter who'd just asked for her help.

"Good one Abel" Thomas spat out. "Now you've gone and done it. I thought we were gonna approach this topic in a more calming way."

"We were. I just- shit" Abel scoffed. "I didn't mean to get angry."

"And to top it off, you've gone and made her upset. I hope that mama's boy in you will somehow change that mood she's in" Thomas scoffed before he stood to tend to their sister.

Abel watched from their picnic blanket laid out as Thomas approached their sister and smiled. They both loved Faith to bits even if she was a baby at times.

Wanting to give his mother time to cool down, he laid on his back thinking hard once again.

"Go talk to her" Thomas growled lowly as he and Faith sat back down not twenty minutes later.

He thought for sure his mom would've made her way back by now but as he looked back at their SUV, he noticed that she wasn't in sight and furrowed his brow. Standing up, he made his way towards the SUV just to see her figure through the window of the SUV sitting across the dirt driveway under the redwood tree he'd seen her looking at earlier.

"Abel, want me to make you another one?" Faith asked.

"Nah, I'm sure you've got a whole list of daisy chains your wanting to make now. I'm good with this one baby girl" Abel smiled hesitantly as he looked back towards his mother. Sighing deeply, he made his way across the dirt driveway with his hands in his pocket. "Hey." Tara heard his loud footsteps before she heard him. Her actions caused him to furrow his brow as he moved around the tree to get a better look of his mother sitting on a large fallen tree branch. "Mom what's wrong?" Abel whispered as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her in for a warming hug. He could tell that she had been crying.

"Nothing baby."

"Don't lie mom, I know when your not right so spill it."

She didn't know how to explain to her son that she missed his father. That she wanted him back with her and their family and to promise to never do another thing club related again but she couldn't. That was one thing she would never confess unless it was her best friend who she hoped to have coffee with if she just answered her damn phone.

"I swear it's nothing Abel" she smiled sadly and reached out to the redwood tree that she'd been staring at since she'd been sitting there. "Look."

"Whoa, what is that?" He questioned as Tara pulled her hand back for him to gaze at. "Forever" he whispered with a smile.

"Your father carved that there first time he brought me here."

"Figured" Abel rasped with a raised brow. He'd seen on very few occasions, the crow tattoo that still adorned the small of Tara's back and asked her about it. When she explained the meaning behind it, and the words tattooed across her lower back, he could hear the sad emotions in her voice and never brought it up again but he knew that this meant more than a random encounter for his mother.

Moments of silence passed like nothing before Tara finally spoke up. "We were riding somewhere. I had no idea where until he brought us here… We ended up sleeping under the stars until I woke to him chipping at something. Wasn't until I realized he was carving that into the tree that he was marking our time here together… It was sweet, innocent and it caught my heart all the then, this had been our place to escape to."

"So he wasn't always a thug?" Abel questioned.

"Yeah. Many years has passed since. I don't think I ever remember my Jax the way he was before-"

"The club hit him" Abel answered when Tara didn't continue but she nodded in confirmation. "Why didn't he ever leave with you when you went to college?"

"That's something you'd have to ask your father baby. One day. Let's get back, I can hear your brother starting to pick on Faith."

-o0o-

"Should we go check up on Tara and the kids?" Tig rasped, there was this odd feeling that he had and it wasn't good. Something just itched at him that it had something to do with the family of four who'd just moved home.

Quinn and Chibs turned in their stools and cocked their heads his way. "Why?"

"Something just don't feel right" he thought outloud causing his two brother's to roll their eyes. "I'm serious man." He was out of the clubhouse before either could blink twice.

With a knowing look at one another, both Chibs and Quinn shrugged their shoulders and finished off their beers before heading out after Tig.

"Where are you going?" Bobby asked as Tig passed him in a hurry without saying anything.

"Tig's got a feeling that something ain't right at Tara's" Quinn rasped catching the attention of the rest of the Sons who followed in suit.

They weren't that far behind their curly haired brother when they noticed nothing out of place. "Not here. Didn't she say she was taking them out for the day?" Quinn rasped.

"Aye, the lady did" Chibs answered.

"What's that?" Tig exclaimed as his eyes narrowed into slits as he looked up at the mahogany front door that was slightly open before his eyes went wide. "It's open."

Making a run for the house, the whole club seemed to take a look up and down the neighborhood trying to spot anything out of the ordinary. Tara had chosen to move back to a well off side of Charming.

"Chibs you take Tig's back and Quinn you follow me. The rest of you, check around back for anything."

As the club descended out around the property, inside was all clear while Rat had spotted a few booted track marks in the garden below the wrap around patio.

"Pres, I found something" Rat exclaimed catching the attention of all his brother's just as a blue SUV pulled into the driveway stopping the guys in their tracks.

"Oh my god, what are you all doing here and why the hell is the front door open?" Tara stated in shock. She took in the looks of the guys as her babies barrelled out of the SUV.

"Uncle Happy" Faith cheered in wonderment as she lunged for her uncle who was grinning at the mention of his name.

"Shit I'm sorry sweetheart, I picked the lock. Needed to take a piss" was Quinn's piss poor excuse. Rolling her eyes as Quinn ruffled the boy's hair, Tara pulled a few bags out of her SUV.

"Okay, that we didn't need to know but I have a lemon tree out back. You could've just pissed on that" she joked. "Why are all of you here?" She asked with furrowed brows as she looked to Bobby for an explanation. "It doesn't take you all to pick a lock or does Quinn need all his brother's to hold his hand?" Tara chuckled causing a few of the guys to laugh along. "Faith, please grab your bag and take it into the laundry. Boys, can you help me with the groceries?"

"So did you guys get mom's message?" Thomas asked as he pulled out a brown grocery bag.

"What message?" Chibs asked.

"Mom, you didn't tell them?" Thomas rasped.

"I was gonna get around to it when we got home. Here we are and here they are" Tara stated with a roll of her eyes. "Guys, can I tempt you into staying for dinner? I'm making Shepherd's pie."

"Do you even have to ask doc" Chibs rasped as he took a bag from Tara's hold and carried them inside.

"I knew I didn't" she chuckled.

"Hey, we told Lyla your back in town, is it okay to call her around for dinner?"

"Of course not. I've been trying to reach out to her but I just can't. Maybe she changed her number."I

"It's only been a few days since you've come back into our lives doc and she has been busy with work and the kids" Chibs rasped.

"Can I speak to you for a second Tara?" Bobby rasped full of concern.

"Sure."

-o0o-

Meanwhile, a few houses down, he stewed in his own anger as he watched them interacting with the bikers and he hated it one bit. He swore if it were only a few of them he could take them out but a whole bunch was just asking to write your own death wish, and he had yet to live out his life's expectancy.

The only thing he got from stepping foot inside was the family photo that was on her bedside drawer and her half of bottle of his favorite scent ever. The only scent that was uniquely Dr Tara Knowles.

"I will have you soon my love." Starting his car, he wandered if he would catch the attention of any of the Sons but when he noticed them all heading inside, he straightened up in the driver's seat and buckled in.

-o0o-

"Jackson Nathaniel Teller, you are hereby released on probation due to overcrowding under strict conditions. You will…" All was lost on his ears the moment he heard those simple words. _Released on_ _probation._

His heart was thumping in his chest and his blood level was beginning to skyrocket.

He didn't know how to react. All Jax knew was that he was being released today. Looking over the small crowd of people sitting in on his hearing, he couldn't help his heartache that stopped the way he was reacting. Tara wasn't here with him. He shouldn't of been surprised but he was but then again he knew nothing about this unexpected hearing and to top it off, he hadn't heard from her in years. Three to be exact. It didn't help that one of the last times she came to visit, she stated clearly that she wanted nothing more to do with him and that included visiting him in prison. Tara cut all losses with her sorry excuse of a husband the moment she found someone else to warm her bed. He could still remember the day she ended things clear as day and vowed to himself that he would get his family back one way or another.

And he would kill to do it.

"Let's go Teller" the guard on shift pulled him up and out of the courtroom escorting him towards his cell block.

 **OHMYFUCKINGGOD. I can't believe I pulled it off the way I wanted. This has got to be by far my best chapter out of all my stories. Please, please, please review guys. I want to know your honest opinions about it. Good or bad is fine by me as long as I see you enjoying it is my main priority.**

 **I still have a lot more up my sleeve so stick around.**


	8. Chapter 8:

Realizing now, most of you readers have probably already reviewed chapter 7 and you can only review once per chapter so when I had originally posted a few weeks back it shows up there. Here is your given chance to right a review of the latest chapter 7. It would be great to hear your guys thoughts as I have no idea how to delete the original chapter 7 reviews


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer. I do not own SOA although I wish I did. Thank you for your kind reviews, favorites and follows.**

Tara stood pacing around in her backyard with a worried expression plastered on her face. "What's wrong?" She could tell by the look Bobby wore that something was wrong.

"Wanna hear the good news first or the bad?"

"Good" Tara answered after a moments silence. She crossed her arms over her chest waiting on what any of the guys had to say.

"The good news is luv" Chibs rasped out with a grin on his face but before he could continue, Abel was making a beeline straight for the group.

"Mom, your not gonna believe it" Abel stated excitedly. Once he was within arms reach of Tara.

"Jesus Abel what is it?" Tara chuckled before she spotted for herself- "Lyla!"

"Hey Tara" Lyla's eyes sparkled in the light along with the shine of her teeth. She'd just finished giving Thomas and Faith big hugs and kisses and shared a few words about how big they had gotten.

"You're here" she whispered with a shocked smile on her face.

"Uh- Well why wouldn't I be?" Lyla smirked as she raised her hand to reveal a bottle of Moscato Rose wine in her hand. "I knew I couldn't come empty handed and I didn't have enough time to cook something up so I didn't just bring one of these babies, I brought two of them."

Tara rolled her eyes. "The last time I drank that with you I think I got completely shit faced" she stated thinking back to about six months ago, when things were at the boiling point for Tara and her relationship.

Lyla seemed to think back at the memory also and chuckled. "Good times."

Tara chuckled as she pulled her best friend in for a hug. "I'm glad your here. I really do need another girls night like that. Where's Ellie and Kenny?" The last Tara had heard from the blonde, she was told that Ellie wanted to be a beautician as opposed to her childhood dream of being a nurse. But that was the life of teenage girls. They always changed their mind.

"Ellie is currently in San Diego doing her nursing degree."

"So she did follow her dreams?" Tara asked proudly, Lyla nodded as Tara pulled three wine glasses out and popped open the bottle before pouring.

"Yeah, I can't say that you weren't a major influence because you were" Lyla stated warmly. "Anyway, she's in her first semester and Kenny, well- let's just say he is his father's son. Joined the club as soon as he turned eighteen. Did his prospecting year and is a full patch in Redwood now."

"Shouldn't of been surprised. Those kids did love their father" Tara stated softly. She began cutting up some onion to put into her fry pan.

"So, what do you need me on?" Lyla asked as Venus grated the ends of the carrots.

"You could dice the onion and then put the broccoli on the stove top to steam cook" Tara stated.

If someone would've come up to her fifteen years ago and say she would be best friends with a porn star and a transgender woman she would gladly laugh in their faces but then again, she had misjudged the porn star-turned porn producer over the years almost too soon. Lyla had proven to be a great old lady- even with the bumps in their road and was an even better mom with the help of the club's full support behind her when Opie had sadly died.

"This is just like old times. Working together in the kitchen making family dinners for the guys. I missed this."

"Yeah, me too Ly" Tara smiled and turned to pull the blonde into her arms and reached out for Venus who was smiling adoringly at the two.

"Awe, all this emotional stuff really does get to me" Venus chuckled as she waved her hands in front of her eyes to will the tears back.

As the three eventually pulled apart, they got to work on making dinner for the guys and chatting up a helluva storm while sipping on their beverage.

"Dinner's ready guys" Tara yelled from the kitchen. "Are you two hungry?" She asked. She didn't really have an appetite seeing as she was well into her third glass for the night and hoped Lyla and Venus were thinking the same as her.

"Let's dish the guys plates out first then we can go outside and finish the rest of whatever we have left. I also have another bottle of wine around here somewhere."

Once the guys and kids plates were dished out, the girls made their way outside with their glasses and sat down in her garden chairs enjoying the peaceful Charming night. It was clear that it would be a sunny day tomorrow as the stars and moon lit up the night sky.

"So Tara" Lyla slurred out. This had been pondering her mind since she got the call that Tara was back in town. "How is Connor?" She knew it might be a touchy subject but she couldn't help herself.

"A total asshole. I'm through with him" Tara stated clear as day. She emptied the rest of her glass, only to pour another one. "I just didn't think I'd fall for another Kohn. I was always tentative. I always put my kids first and made sure they had everything they needed. Why do I always fall for the wrong ones?"

"Well if we are still talking about and only about Connor and Kohn, I'd say it's not that you fell for him that's getting to you, it's that you miss that stability and comfort Jax had given you."

Tara scoffed as she sipped her wine once again. "Even though he was a lying cheating bastard who always put himself-" She cut herself off right there as soon as the words flew from her mouth and sighed heavily causing Lyla and Venus to raise their brows knowingly.

"Whoa, speaking from the heart or the mind babe?" Lyla questioned honestly.

"I shouldn't of said that last part" Tara whispered. "He just always knew how to hurt me. Hit me right through the heart." Tara didn't know she had tears in her eyes until Venus pulled her into her arms to comfort her.

"Maybe you speak the truth Tara and your only admitting it now. You've been to afraid to admit it" Lyla whispered, hoping to not have struck a nerve in her best friend but was thankful that she sat silently so she continued. "You know honey, he gave up the last ten and counting years of his life to set you free."

Tara sighed deeply. "He shouldn't of been in there in the first place. If he just-" Tara inhaled sharply not wanting to start an argument or bring up the past so she continued on a much safer comment. "I know. And I am forever grateful that he did that but-" Tara didn't know what to say. It made much more sense in her head as opposed to saying it outloud where it could be heard. She had hated that the club life had forced them into the life she was living now. She was supposed to grow old with Jax. They were supposed to raise their kids together and watch them grow up and venture into their own lives in a few years but so far, none of that had come true.

All these what ifs and supposed to be's were borderline resentment towards Jax and somehow Lyla and Venus could see that this was what pushed Tara into the arms of another man.

It was Venus however who voiced what she and Lyla were thinking. "Maybe that's what pushed you into the arms of this Connor guy" she exclaimed. "He gave you that sense of stability- well, not in so many words seeing as the pair of you were just friends with benefits but you know what I mean."

And sadly, Tara did.

Tara still blamed Jax and his love for the club over her and their family for the uncalled for separation. She would never get that back. Not the sleepless nights worrying about how he was- not the school plays or the sports games she attended by herself. Not anything.

Before she or the girls could say anything else, the guys were making their way out of the house with beers in their hands. Bobby sat beside Tara and Tig sat on the other side of Venus while the rest of the guys took seats anywhere they could find.

"Dinner was great as always Tara" Tig stated as he draped an arm over the head of the couch they were perched on. That comment, along with similar ones from the guys rang through the peaceful air.

"Hey, she wasn't the only one who made you guys dinner. You should praise us too" Lyla joked as she sipped on her wine.

"I think you've had a little too much to drink now there Ly" Quinn rasped as he pulled the glass from her and sat it down on the table before them.

"Hey" she slurred out.

"Tara, there's something we forgot to mention" Bobby rasped. He knew it was bad timing considering she had a bit too much to drink but Tara would hate that she wasn't in the loop of club things.

"What is it?" She asked hesitantly.

"Quinn and Hap are gonna stay here tonight."

"Why?"

"No reason besides you being drunk and all" Bobby chuckled but Tara could see right through the bullshit.

"Bobby, can I speak to you alone?" The serious tone in her voice had Lyla sobering up a little. Venus was far from drunk so she stood without hesitation and helped Lyla up.

"Come on guys. The lady wants some privacy" Venus rasped.

As Venus helped Lyla up, a few guys had followed them out but Chibs, Quinn, Happy and Tig stayed put.

"What is this really about?" She couldn't help but remember their previous conversation- the one before Lyla had walked in. Bobby had good and bad news to tell her and she could only remember listening to the good news.

All four bikers looked to each other before coming to some sort of agreement. "It's just a precaution" Bobby exclaimed as he turned to face head on towards Tara.

"For what?" Tara questioned before it clicked. "This is the bad news part isn't it?" When the guys stayed silent, Tara sighed deeply. "I did lock the house when I left this morning. You didn't break into it did you Quinn?" Tara stated rather than questioned. She had her answer when none of the guys answered her once again.

"Did you find anything? Forced entry? Easy escape? Anything taken?" Tara let out a chain of questions.

"No sign of forced entry which means the person must've picked the lock but a window in the living room was left open and there were boot prints that looked like tennis shoes in the garden which meant he was still inside when we arrived and it looked like nothing was taken so this wasn't some random break in."

Tara contemplated their thoughts. "I know who it is too" she replied in defeated.

"Who?" Quinn and Happy snapped in unison causing Tara to furrow her brows together.

"Your gonna say I told you so" she whispered as she sat back down. "Connor wasn't what I thought he was."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Tig asked.

"Remember back when I first moved back? The ATF Agent that had been pegged on ending SAMCRO?"

"Can't say we do doc" Bobby rasped as he sat down beside her.

"Wait" Chibs cut in. "I think I remember the chap. Tall and a nasty fucker. Worked with that bitch Stahl?"

"That's the one but that doesn't matter anymore, anyway, I'd moved back not only because of my father's estate but also because I was in a seriously fucked up relationship. To cut a long story short, he was no longer a problem for me and we moved on with our lives."

"No longer a problem as in…" Quinn rasped to which Tara nodded. "And I'd assume by your definition of 'we' meant you and Jax?" Again, Tara nodded.

"Jesus Christ doc" Happy rasped. He'd never heard that story before but then again, it was only Jax and Tara's secret. Or at least it was until now.

Somehow the guys didn't have to hear it but knew that Kohn must've done something seriously fucked up for him to end up in an unmarked grave somewhere.

"Anyway, Connor was in some ways similar to him but was also similar to Jax."

The guys furrowed their brows together. Jax had never laid a hand on Tara and only found sexual comforts apart from Tara when he was at his lowest points in his life. Not that he questioned his love for Tara, it's when he questioned himself.

As for this Kohn guy, this was a first they'd heard of him so they didn't know what to think.

"This vibe I'm getting about the ex?" Happy questioned, "he gonna be the kinda problem you and Jax had with that fed?" Happy didn't want to admit to himself but he wouldn't mind getting his hands bloody. It had been a while since the club had done anything adventurous and he did vow to keep Tara and the kids safe which fell through by her stubbornness. When Tara stayed quiet Happy thought to elaborate a little more. "Did this Connor asshole hit you?" Happy instantly questioned. Tara shifted in her seat with her hands between her thighs suddenly feeling the chill of the night wash over her. The guys suddenly felt a sense of anger wash over them before Quinn pulled her up.

"I didn't hear you answer his question. Did the asshole hit you?" The night's darkness was hard for the guys to see one another but what only source they had from the backyards light, Quinn could clearly see tears rolling down Tara's face and he growled. "ANSWER THE QUESTION" he rasped a little too low for Tara's liking.

"I distinctly remember the week being hectic at work. Lost two patients and was no good company for the kids so had them staying with a friend for a few nights…"

Flashback

Tara didn't bother waiting up for him tonight, she was exhausted from losing her second patient in the week and Connor knew the kids were at sleep overs tonight and they had the house to themselves. If Tara was honest with herself though, she honestly didn't give a shit. This reminded her too much of being with Jax, waiting up all night for him to get home from church, a run or a late night party. Tara realized that she only thought of Connor as a fuck buddy, a quick lay to get through the night, nothing more.

So when he came tumbling into her bedroom later that night, she was wide awake and glaring at him. The cheap perfume had filled her bedroom and it almost made Tara want to vomit.

"What are you still doing awake?" Connor rasped as he tumbled inside after closing the door and toeing his shoes off.

"What are you doing coming here at..." she cast her eyes towards her night stand then back to him "...two in the morning?"

Connor scoffed as he stripped, forgetting all about the fading fingernail marks up and down his front and back. He furrowed his brows when he heard Tara's breath hitch and looked back at her.

"Get the fuck out" Tara stated coldly. She pulled the covers from her when she noticed Connor not moving and advanced on him. "I said get the fuck out you cheating bastard." She shoved him once but that was how far she got to laying hands on him as he shoved her back.

"This shit wouldn't of happened if you'd just give me what I want" Connor roared. He slammed Tara back with a thud against the wall and pinned her there with his hands holding hers and his legs holding her in place. "Am I not enough for you?"

Tara couldn't look at him. All she saw now was Jax and that gash riding him. She tried to shove him back but it only made him angrier. "Let go of me."

"Your a real piece of work ain't you Tara" Connor rasped into her ear before he released her. "Let's see how long you'll last without me Tara. I sure as hell know for a fact that your husband ain't around to get you off anymore" he shouted as he threw open the bedroom door after hastily putting his clothes back on.

As Tara watched his retreating back, he spun around one last time with a hard glare. "Don't think about calling me in the early hours of the morning for a quick fuck cause you won't get it."

Tara sat silently in bed as his shadow disappeared down the hallway and she felt relieved that he left without too much difficulty.

End of flashback

As if it was a remake of Tara's past mistakes, she hated once again how that asshole made her feel.

"No he didn't. A few days after that shit happened, I never saw him again. His shit was gone from a few of the drawers he had shit in but that only served to make me more jumpy, which I guess is what he wanted. The thing that really made me move back was when the gash he cheated on me with showed her face at my front door announcing that she was pregnant with his baby. Six months pregnant at that." Tara didn't even feel slightly emotional about the whole situation. As far as she saw, it was good riddance to him. Sayonara.

He could have his family. She didn't want, nor need the stress and trouble of a gash or a prick like him in her life any longer. "He'd been fucking around on me for months" she chuckled coldly.

"So he was a cheating bastard?"

"You could say that. We were only good for one thing but he wanted more. Obviously. I just- couldn't give it to him. However, he was was very controlling of me. It's not hard to guess how much of a control freak he was but he never hit me. Nor did he ever rape me."

"Well I'm glad you could clear that up for us because I was beginning to think otherwise" Bobby stated.

The guys had no idea where her statement came from but only assumed that that must've fit the description of the ATF agent.

"Just-" she began. She couldn't believe how much she knew these guys so well and let out a laugh. When she controlled her fit of giggles she continued. "When you find him, don't do anything that could get you twenty-five years to life please. He has a family now and I've allowed him his freedom but it'd kill me if I hear he's dead because of me."

"Tara-" Bobby rasped but she couldn't help but look to at Quinn and Happy to read their expressions. "You got my word but if this happens again I'm gonna have to do something about it."

She chuckled again. "Talking had never been the Sons strongest suit."

"Get some rest doc. Hap and Quinn are still on watch for the night. At least until we know this asshole isn't gonna show his face around here again" Bobby stated.

Tara exhaled tiredly before remembering what her son had asked her earlier.

"One more thing?"

"Anything for you doc."

"Would it be okay if one of you take the kids to see Jax? Saturdays are still his visitation days right?"

Shocked at her questioned, the guys all stayed quiet for a while before Bobby answered. "He'd like that. Jax doesn't have to say it but we know he's been having a hard time not seeing his kids."

Tara could only feel more regret. "I managed to take them a few times since I broke things off but it was never enough. I know Abel misses him. Thomas and Faith too. They'll like that" she smiled softly before making her way upstairs for the night.

-o0o-

"Hey, there's this drunk guy breaking down in one of the back rooms. Is there any chance you can call one of the guys here to deal with him?" Cece, who was one of the working girls for Colette and the club asked.

It was the usual scenario when a guy came to them for comfort but Cece had a feeling this was something a lot more personal than any of the marine guys she'd dealt with before.

"Yeah" Colette answered without any worry. "Just make sure he's in the room alone and that a few of the other girls know he's in there."

"Sure thing" Cece walked away with a polite smile on her face. "Oh and he keeps complaining about an ex. He's actually pissing me the fuck off."

"Now now Cece, that's not very professional honey" Colette chuckled, already in the process of pulling her cell out causing Cece to roll her eyes.

"I know but then again, when have I ever liked to comfort a sorry name for a man?"

-o0o-

Long after Tara had gone off to bed, all the guys had formed outside as Bobby contemplated what he was gonna do just as Tig made his way back to the group.

"Prez, that was Colette" Tig stated after just getting off the phone with madam. "Seems one of the girls is having a bit of trouble with a guy."

"Shit, you know what to do then. Take Rat and Cortez with you. I'm gonna go and see Jax in the morning and I want you and Chibs with me."

"You got it Prez" Tig rasped as he Rat and Cortez got up before heading to the aid of the escort agency.

"Quinn and Hap, take the kids to school and make sure Tara gets to work. I want you both on their watch. When Kenny gets back, update him on the latest and make sure he runs background checks on Tara and people associated with her. If this Connor guy comes up, get him to run a background on him too. Rest of you, work around Redwoody, Diosa and the escort agency."

-o0o-

When Tig, Rat and Cortez arrived at the brothel in Stockton, they'd spotted Colette waiting on them as usual. She stood when they approached her and smiled as she pointed down the hall. "He's in the second to last room on the left. Please make sure-"

"Yeah, yeah doll, we know the drill." It wasn't as if it was new to the guys. They'd done the whole security shit for a long time now.

Making their way down the hallway of the ground floor, the house definitely lived up to its name. Women and men were moaning and grunting, banging bed posts against walls. It was just about everything the word brothel stood for. As they swung the door open they noticed an intoxicated man passed out as usual.

They got him dressed and out of the room without much of a fuss from him.

"Yeah, this dipshit is far gone by now. Check his ID" Tig ordered.

Rat did just that. He opened the guy's wallet as Tig and Cortez got him out of the room with his arms draped over their shoulders. "Holy shit" Rat spat out causing his two brother's to stop in their tracks.

"What?" Tig asked.

"That's him" Rat stated as he looked to the drunk. "Tara's ex."

"WHAT?" Tig spat out, he dropped the weight he was carrying which caused Cortez to catch him out of reflex. "Give me a look at that shit" Tig boomed as he snatched the contents out of Rat's hand and looked it over.

"Fuck." In his state of mind, there was no clear thinking.

"We gotta take him back to the clubhouse. Bobby will want to know about this shit."

Tig was still contemplating killing the asshole but his brain- for once- had him thinking before he acted out. "Yeah, let's do that."

"Hey" Colette called out stopping Tig and Rat who turned hearing her voice. "I couldn't help but overhear that this was Tara's ex?"

Something inside Tig had him flaring with anger. "The hell is it to you?" He snapped. "Remember you place whore" Tig growled out before stepping around the van with a final death glare at Colette who stood in complete shock having received the rare end of his anger before she composed herself with a wicked smirk playing across her face.

After throwing the piece of shit into the van, the guys made their way back to the clubhouse without another word to Colette or any of the girls.

"What the fuck is that?" Chibs rasped.

"The question shouldn't be what the fuck is that brother but who the fuck is that?" Tig stated matter of factly.

"Tell us you didn't pick some stray off the road brother?" Chibs rasped. The clubhouse seemed a little empty apart from the few crow eaters occupying both Chibs and Bobby while the two prospects were playing a game of pool.

"I did just that Chibs" Tig joked. "What the hell do you think? This is the idiot that was passed out at the brothel. Told Rat to check him and guess what he found?"

"What?" Bobby asked.

"His name is Connor Malone" Rat stated hesitantly causing Bobby to spit out the beer he'd just about consumed.

"WHAT?" Chibs rasped in shock.

"Yeah. I guess we don't know if this is Tara's Connor until he sobers up some. Gonna keep him in one of the empty rooms for the night" Tig stated.

"Yeah, we'll do that. I want Tara here in the morning to confirm. I don't want any of you touching the prick. Benny, your on first watch. Rat your up next so get some rest boys. As for you and you" Bobby said pointing to Chibs and Tig, "I want you with me when I ride out to see Jax in the morning."

"You got it Prez."

As morning rolled around in the Teller household, a lazy smile graced Abel Tellers face. He didn't know why but it felt somewhat normal to wake up to a house with Sons in it. It made the past three years a distant memory.

"Hey, did you guys crash here last night?" He asked, spotting the folded blankets and pillows neatly stacked at the end of the couch.

"Yeah. Your brother and sister up yet?"

"Why? You offering to take us to school?"

"Not me but your uncle Quinn here is even offering to pick you three up too" Happy stated, throwing Quinn completely under the bus with that. Happy chuckled as Quinn shot a glare his way. "What? School duty is what you do ain't it?" Happy smirked when Quinn jabbed him in the shoulder.

"Faiths gonna be happy about that" Abel chuckled to himself. "She's still in bed though. Thomas is already in the shower." His brows then furrowed together. "Wait! Am I missing something?" Abel asked in confusion.

Happy and Quinn grinned at one another. "Remember my little girl Jessica?" Quinn rasped.

"Yeah… We were the same age right? I mean we are the same age?"

Quinn nodded. "Well she ain't the youngest anymore. Managed to knock her mother up two more times after that" Quinn grinned like it was natural to speak of his old lady in this manner.

"I think I remember her now. Her mother was Katherine right?"

"Yep. Definitely a woman that keeps me on my toes" Quinn chuckled.

"So, are you two married?" Abel asked.

"Whose married?" Thomas chimed out only catching the end of that. He looked fresh and clean with his chino pants and a simple tank top along with an overly large hoodie that always came with the wardrobe of Thomas Teller.

"I was just asking Quinn here if he was married to his old lady. Remember Katherine?"

Thomas furrowed his brows together before nodding. "Yeah I remember her."

"Her being my old lady is damn near close to being my wife. And before you ask, she's the mother of all six of my kids" Quinn stated knowing that Happy would make him out to be some horny biker who loved to stick it where it shouldn't go. "I know how not to stray" Quinn chuckled before his eyes caught sight of the clock hanging in the kitchen. "Shit, Hap go wake the little one up. You both got twenty minutes before we gotta get outta here. It's just your luck that I have to drop the kids off at school or I swear Hap would be taking you three."

The boys rushed around the kitchen getting making themselves breakfast as Happy came down with a more than excited Faith trailing behind him.

"You ready princess?" Quinn rasped seeing the ten year old dressed but her hair not brushed.

"Mama does my hair but uncle Hap told me we shouldn't wake her."

"Let me do it then. What do you have?"

"A normal pony tail please."

As Quinn moved Faith into the living room, Abel and Thomas finished up breakfast before Thomas made a quick dash to get out of doing the dishes leaving Abel and Happy alone in the kitchen.

"Your ma told us you guys wanna go see the old man" Happy rasped causing Abel to stop in his tracks.

"So she did tell you" he seemed kind of glad. "Almost thought I'd have to end up asking.

Happy shrugged. "Bobby and Chibs are heading out to see your old man now. We'll have to wait for you three to go but next time you can" Happy informed causing the teenager to nod his head vigorously, although he wasn't happy to not be able to see him today.

-o0o-

Back at the clubhouse Bobby had just gotten off the phone with Quinn about needing Tara at the clubhouse to confirm something. The big biker didn't second question anything and instead agreed. Bobby Chibs and Tig were just about ready to roll out for the day after having their morning fix when they made their way out of the clubhouse as a yellow cab was leaving the premises.

The guys knitted their brows together as Chibs stubbed out the end of his cigarette to catch whoever had his back facing them. His back was facing them and he did seem a far distance away.

Just as he was about to yell out and asked what the guy wanted, the man in question tilted his head slightly as they took a few closer steps towards him which caused a small amount of his blonde hair to fall with it.

"Jax?" Chibs could recognize that hair from a million miles away. They were now close enough to realize this was no stranger but in fact their former president.

At hearing his name being called, Jax smirked mischievously before slowly turning around and grinning from ear to ear. "Chibs" he growled mischievously. Without any warning, Chibs ran straight for their former president and pulled him into a massive brotherly hug.

"How in the fuck is it that your here brother?" Chibs questioned but he couldn't hide his excitement about seeing Jax. It also meant that the hours ride to Stockton would no longer be necessary.

When they pulled apart, Jax was pulled into another hug from Bobby then Tig with them also asking similar questions.

"To sum all the questions up, I was released on parole. Stockton was overcrowding and they were bringing more inmates in. They must've already seen my wrap sheet and seen that I had been denied twice for possible parole a few years back but here I am."

"Jesus fuck brother, your looking good." Well obviously someone who was just released from prison would be. He had that masculine body that could wet just about every girl's panties within a ten mile radius.

"Well I can definitely say I'm glad to be home. Is there anything going in the kitchen? I could do with some real food."

-o0o-

As the morning went on, Tara hadn't left the safety of her bedroom until she heard her SUV pulling out of the driveway and knew that one of the guys had taken her babies to school. Her slight fragile state and the pounding in her head from a nasty hangover left her drowsy and in need for more sleep but she knew she had to get to work. The perks of her position meant that when she signed her contract, she wanted at least a few days late starts a week.

Monday's just so happened to be one of a three day late start shift for the week. Taking a much needed long shower, Tara decided to wear tight black denim jeans, a loose tank top and her fairly new creamy three quarter sleeve blazer. Deciding that for a change, she was going to wear her hair out, she brushed her slightly wavy hair out before allowing the ends to flare out.

-o0o-

"Go check on that thing out back. I want you to make sure he doesn't make an appearance until the doc get's here" Bobby rasped under a hash tone which had Jax curious about the whispering but he didn't question it.

"You got it brother" Tig rasped. "It's really good to see you Jax." Jax grinned with a nod as he and Bobby watched Tig retreat towards the dorms.

"What was that all about?"

"Nothing much. Just a drunk I want him to keep a close eye on."

"What hasn't changed around here" Jax asked sarcastically. "That breakfast was fucking great though" Jax rasped. After Bobby had made him a full breakfast menu consisting of sausages, bacon, eggs toast coffee and freshly made cinnamon muffins that Bobby managed to whip up in a matter of seconds. Jax didn't hesitate to stuff his face before he found himself with heartburn. He rubbed at his chest in desperate need to let out a burp.

Bobby just grinned from ear to ear. "Well then you'd be glad to hear that Tara's cooking hasn't changed one bit. Actually I'd say it's improved a lot more since you've been locked up." That wasn't an intentional bite or dig to their blonde biker but Jax couldn't take it any other way.

"I take it you've all heard from her then?"

Bobby nodded slowly. "Actually just last week."

"Yeah" Chibs chimed out. "She dropped around the clubhouse inviting us around for dinner. Hap and Tig were the most furious with her-"

"Yeah until I drew the short straw" Bobby chuckled.

"Not that idiot in there ain't unsatisfied with Venus" Chibs stated firmly. They hadn't seen any of their brothers as committed to their old lady as bad as Tig was. Maybe it was the gender difference but they definitely knew Venus kept Tig grounded.

Jax genuinely seemed shocked at that.

"Anyway-" Bobby cut back in. "We accepted her invitation and were shocked to hear that she'd moved back to Charming."

Jax's eyes bugged slightly out of his sockets. "How is she and my kids?" Jax asked. He'd do anything just to hear her voice again but he wasn't fully prepared for the outcome knowing that the last time he'd seen her, she left him completely broken. And a broken man in prison wasn't smart.

Jax had worked hard to keep out of trouble. He was trying hard to become a better man. Someone who would do right by his family and that meant changing the way he saw the outside life.

"They're doing good. The kids are in school here. Both Abel and Thomas seem to take after their father" Bobby grinned as Tig came back out. "They remind me so much of you as a punk teenager. Wouldn't be that surprised if Abel has the girls running after him too."

Although Jax didn't like the sound of that, he couldn't help but smirk in response.

"This your kids we're talking about?" When Bobby nodded, Tig just grinned. "Little wee Faith is her mother through and through. We can tell who the boss and princess of the family is" Tig chuckled. "But she's got a hint of that Teller charm. There's no doubt she'd have the boys running after her too."

"Hey, that's my fucking daughter your talking about" Jax joked. "And I just got out of fucking prison. Don't need to be sent back again."

The guys all shared a laugh. Jax could go on talking about his kids for days if he wasn't too eager to hear about Tara. "So what about Tara?" He asked.

"She's doing okay. Got herself a job back at St Thomas. Hap and Quinn should actually be on their way back from dropping the kids off."

"Do they always drop the kids off at school?" He questioned a little harshly.

"This morning was just the first. We were actually on our way out to see you when you stopped us" Bobby stated.

"About what?"

"Someone had broken into her house. It wasn't random, nothing had been taken so we knew it had something to do with her."

"Did you find anything?" Jax asked a little deadly. He closed his hands into tight balls waiting on a response.

"Just a tennis shoe footprint in the garden off to the side of the house. It wasn't until last night that we figured the guy must've been on his way out when we got there."

Jax tensed his jaw contemplating what to say or even do.

Finally he spoke out. "I want to see her."

"Chibs? Get Quinn or Hap on the phone. Tell him we have an unexpected surprise arrival here. Jax is back in town."

-o0o-

Heading back inside after dropping the car load full of kids, Quinn felt his phone vibrating in his pocket which stopped his further intentions of heading inside.

"Yeah?"

"Brother, Bobby needs you and Hap over at the clubhouse asap. Is Tara with you?" The concern was etched into Chib's raspy voice as Quinn listened out on his line, causing his brows to knit together.

"We just dropped the kids off. What's going on?"

"This is about Jax. Just get here as fast as you can." The line went dead after that which again, had Quinn's brows furrowed together.

"Who was that?" Happy rasped.

"Chibs. We need to get to the clubhouse."

"What'd he want?"

"Don't know but it had something to do with Jax" Quinn stated causing Happy, who was walking towards the house to halt to a stop.

"Good or bad?"

"He sounded a little off but it could've been anything" Quinn justified. "Got a feeling that it might be something bad though" he remarked as they stepped over the threshold, making their way into the kitchen before reaching for the coffee pot and two fresh cups.

"Think we should tell her?" Happy rasped hesitantly.

"Tell me what?" Tara asked coming into the kitchen hearing the last of what Quinn and Happy were talking about. "Can't tell me you both weren't just talking about me now spill it."

"Uh-" Quinn rasped before Happy cut in.

"We got the kids to school. I thought you were gonna call in work for a personal day" Happy rasped. He'd been woken up this morning by Tara rummaging through the kitchen looking for something to kill her headache and she said something along the lines of I'm gonna call in sick today.

"Changed my mind. Don't really wanna be in a quiet house with you two baby sitting me" Tara replied as she reached out for the mug of coffee Happy handed her. "Thanks." She took a small sip of her black coffee and felt the need that it needed a teaspoon of sugar. "So what did I walk in on?"

Both brothers looked to one another before looking at her. "Tig and Rat had to take care of something last night and ended up picking up a stray. Turns out the idiot they just so happened to pick up was that douche Malone."

"What?" Tara asked. She could feel herself reddening around her cheeks and she slowly spun around.

"Bobby wants you there to confirm that it's him."

Tara could only stand there in shock before she found her voice. "Please, if it his him, none of you can lay a finger on him." She could see both Happy and Quinn's jaw tensing and inhaled deeply. "Promise me. He has a family. Please" she pleaded. Even though she'd asked this of Bobby, she knew it was Quinn and Happy who needed the most convincing. They were very protective of her.

After a moment, Quinn spoke up. "We can't promise you that and if he tries anything with you, I can't guarantee his safety." Tara nodded hesitantly, although she was fucking sure they'd lay him down the first chance they got.

Tara then got back to her job at hand and poured her teaspoon of sugar into her mug of fresh ground coffee. "When do we leave?"

"Once your finished that. Although I just got off the phone with Chibs, he said there's been a development in Jax's case" Quinn rasped.

She stopped mid way with her hand inside the sugar jar. "And?" She asked without turning around. Casting her eyes out her kitchen window she waited for them to continue. That was more shocking of news to hear from the previous news about Connor being held captive at the clubhouse.

"Bobby was heading in to meet with him."

"Okay." Placing her scoop of sugar into her mug, she slowly stirred it.

"That didn't end up happening though."

"What does that mean?" Tara asked in confusion as she whipped her head around to gauge their expressions.

"Tara, your gonna have to trust us. Bobby wants us to take you to the clubhouse. He'll tell you what's going."

-o0o-

Somewhere outside Charming limits.

"I thought I told you not to come see me."

"Yeah well, we have more important things to worry about than this" the woman scoffed.

"What could possibly be-"

"She's back in town."

And there you have it me ladies and gents. I hope I left you all hanging good I just couldn't help myself *tehe. But I will say this, I can't wait for the rest of the story to explode and I won't be giving away any details. Happy reading.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer**. **Everything belongs to the genius** **KS**.

Tara's heart sunk into her stomach, she abandoned the coffee in hand and looked straight at both bikers. "Let's go." She was far more concerned about the safety and wellbeing of her estranged husband than her morning fix for the moment. "I'll call in sick" she uttered under her breath to no one in particular.

As she stormed out of her home, she couldn't breath. Her mind was constantly thinking about the what if's. This call was what she'd always been waiting for ever since he was sentenced and the feeling wasn't very nice.

"I got this Tara. You can't even hold the steering wheel without wanting to-" Quinn stopped himself from continuing when Tara glared up at him more hurt than he thought and he sighed deeply. "It can't be as bad as your thinking. Just think about your kids girl."

Tara got out without arguing and made her way around to her passengers side before clicking her seat belt into place.

As they set out for the twenty minute ride to the clubhouse, Tara couldn't even think straight. Yeah she had moved on, or at least tried to moved on but nothing and no one could stop her heart from beating unless it involved her family.

Jax held a special place in her heart. One that no other man could. He was the father of her three children. They were the air that she breathed because of him. The reason she lived was because of the three lives he'd blessed her with. There was no doubt in her mind that she would always love him.

But she couldn't help the growing anxiety that something bad was about to happen- or had happened. She just couldn't pinpoint what it was exactly.

Jax could be injured and in serious condition in Stockton's inventory right now.

Jax could potentially be dead and making his way in a body bag home right now.

Jax could-

"Stop thinking like that. Nothing's wrong with him." Tara furrowed her brows as Quinn cast a small smile to her. She'd realized then that she'd spoken out loud and tears had formed a trail down her face.

Tara wiped her tears away too soon before more fell. "Oh god Quinn, I don't know what to think. How to think. I mean- What if something happened to him inside? He's still being protected right? What if-"

"You gotta stop thinking like that Tara. He's a strong man-" Quinn stated, cutting any delusional thoughts of Jax from her mind but she still couldn't help but worry. She always worried. "And to answer your question, yes he's still being protected."

Tara sighed in relief, although it was short lived as she cut through the silence of their ride. "I didn't have to see it but I know I completely shattered his heart. It was like leaving him when we were in high school all over again. And that wasn't even the worst of it. I left him in prison with false hope." Tara couldn't even think clearly at this point. She hated and loved Jackson Teller and it was seriously fucking with her mind.

Quinn took Tara's face in both of his hands, his large ones making her face appear so small in them. "Calm down Tara. I don't know what Bobby told Chibs but he kept it plain and simple. That's gotta be a good thing right?" He wasn't so sure of his words himself but he tried reassuring the mother of three that it was nothing but good news.

Tara sighed. "You could still be wrong." There was slight movement behind Quinn that caught Tara's attention and she realized that they'd arrived at the clubhouse. "Give me a minute? I need to clean myself up and call work" Tara whispered as she pulled away from Quinn and pulled down her sun visor and opened the small flap before checking to see that her mascara had left a black trail mark down her cheeks so she fixed her makeup up before sliding out of her car.

-o0o-

The sun was glistening with the soft breeze that whipped past him and he inhaled the soft scent Charming always brought him. The loud heavy traffic in the near distance was barely loud enough to drain out the soft chirps of birds communicating but he enjoyed the freedom nonetheless. He was definitely glad to feel freedom outside of the four concrete walls and heavy iron fences with razor sharp wires that he'd been incarcerated behind for the past ten years.

A true sight to see was his name alone that stood hanging on the replica sign his father had done many years ago.

Teller Automotive.

He'd ordered Bobby to have Clay's name removed from the sign and anything Morrow written around the garage to be removed. After everything Clay had done to his family. To his father. To his wife. To a point his mother and even to himself, he wanted no trace of the evil man he'd once cared for enough to have called father.

But that was the past. He no longer cared for Clarence Morrow.

Taking in one of the few places He'd grown up in as a child, he lingered on the large remade clubhouse building that didn't look all that different from what he could remember. It still had the same murky grey paint. The large reaper tag on the wall and it brought a smile to his face.

The smile however faulted when he remembered why he was here. He had nowhere else to go. His mother's joint wasn't an option- not that his childhome even crossed his mind. Jax hadn't heard or seen his mother since the day she almost killed Tara. His old place also wasn't an option and he had no idea where Tara was- not that he'd give up on finding her just yet. He just needed his head on straight before he made any rational and unexpected moves against her.

Pulled from his thoughts as a rumble of a motorcycle entered the lot after following a dark blue SUV, Jax furrowed his brows together.

"Enjoying the fresh air brother?" Bobby asked when Jax came back to sit down after taking in the compound but the cigarette lingering on his bottom lip had his eyes going wide when he spotted that familiar SUV.

"Something like that" Jax smirked as he took the cup of freshly made coffee Bobby had poured him and took a sip. "Expecting someone?" Before Bobby could answer, Chibs was making his way towards them.

-o0o-

Connor woke up with a start. Taking in his surroundings, he had no idea where he was. If this was some fantasy from a little action he got last night then it wasn't a funny one. He was too far gone from last night's course of events that he stumbled from the bed in an attempt to chug up the vomit forcing its way out- Taking a chance, he opened the nearest door only to realize that it was an empty closet but it was too late- he'd tumbled over and threw up in the small storage space.

-o0o-

Tara slid out of her seat and shut the door behind her. She straightened out her collar to her shirt before making her way towards the small crowd of bikers surrounded at the nearest picnic table outside the clubhouse.

"BOBBY?" Tara yelled furiously from across the lot. Casting her eyes briefly around the table of bikers she spotted Bobby, Chibs, the prospects and Jax. "Where's-" her sentence fell from her mouth as she flicked her eyes back to Jax unexpectedly. Stunned into complete silence, Tara was speechless to say the least.

Jax pulled himself out from the picnic table they were surrounding and stood in shock. He didn't expect Tara to be here so soon and looking so- beautiful. Gorgeous. Hot.

Her reddened cheeks were a tell tail sign that she'd been crying.

Wait, she was crying. Why the fuck had she been crying he thought.

There was just so many words to describe his wife's appearance and it caused a tight sensation in his heart.

"Jax" she whispered barely above a whisper and even though they were a short distance from one another, he could clearly hear her. She took a single step forward as he did too. "How is it-" She stumbled out a short string of a sentence.

"That I'm here?"

Too soon to answer, he just stood admiring the way she was dressed. Those tight fitting jeans. Tank top. Elbow length sleeves on her peachy colored blazer. And her hair. Man it was long just the way he preferred- but give or take. He loved the way she looked no matter what.

Seemingly in their own bubble, just absorbing each other, the guys didn't matter in this moment.

Jax studied the way she scrunched her nose and how her eyebrows drew together as if trying to make of the whole scenario. Time definitely hadn't caught up with Tara in her age yet and a small smile appeared at the corner of his mouth.

Tara could tell from the look of his appearance that he definitely fit the description of someone who had done time the body of an inmate. His almost too tight of a white shirt defined his masculine upper half. He definitely used his time inside to his advantage and Tara couldn't help but to linger over his torso along with his hair that was perfectly slicked back just as she remembered and it truly took her breath away.

Tara's heart rate sped up at the electrifying touch and she wanted nothing more than for him to wrap his arms around her and tell her that she wasn't dreaming. That this moment right here wasn't how she pictured seeing him again for the first time in almost three years- ten as a free man.

Jax was just as desperate to hold Tara but he felt if he made the next move, she would back away and run off. He knew it could be an option but he let Tara lead. His eyes still roamed up and down her body and he couldn't hold the tight sensation that was slowly making it's way down to his groin.

Female contact.

That had been a loss cause for ten years.

Before she could even stop herself, she made the first move and slammed herself into his masculine body- gripping him like he was her lifeline. Her sobs soon broke out and all she could do was clutch onto the man who still held her heart to this very day.

The guys standing around let Jax and Tara have their moment and made their way back to their picnic table.

But then realisation hit her and she pulled out of his grasp and slapped him straight across the face leaving a trace of her fine handprint. "You complete ass Jackson Teller. How in the fuck is it that your here?" She demanded. "I was worried out of my fucking mind when the guys told me there was a development with your case. What the hell is going on?"

The sting of the slap barely hurt him as he composed himself. At least she still cared about me he thought as crystal blue eyes met furious green ones.

"Surprise" he joked unconvincingly causing Tara to narrow her eyes into slits and cross her arms in an effort to calm her anger down.

"This isn't funny Jax." She inhaled sharply and glared to the guys behind him before turning her attention back to him. "What happened?" Her tone was soft when she asked.

"Shit, I had a whole speech planned out but I forgot what I was gonna say" Jax stated as he frustratingly ran a hand through his shoulder length hair. He chuckled to himself and looked to the guys having their own silent conversation before Jax turned back to Tara.

"So?" Tara asked.

"There was overcrowding. Inmates were being sent to other prisons and some were getting out on parole. I had that deal with Patterson-"

"Yeah I remember" Tara stated clearly as she took a seat beside Jax at the picnic table. "Twenty-five years imprisonment. Ten on parole or maybe seven" Tara relayed his sentencing to him as clear as day and it caused Jax to cring.

"Well here I am now. Parole for two years. Ain't allowed to leave the state."

"Just as well then" Tara chuckled. "Look, Bobby was gonna head to Stockton and see you. I know this doesn't change anything but-"

"Babe, this changes everything now that I'm out. I just-" his hands met hers and he clutched them tight in his own. With pleading crystal blue eyes gazing into those mesmerising hazel eyes, Tara swore she could see the beginnings of tears forming in them. "I want another chance. Three years without contact with you fucking ruined me Tara and I miss you. I miss my kids. They probably don't even remember me and I guess that's my fault."

Tara's heart sank into her stomach for the second time today. "We can sit here all day for all I care and play the blame game Jax but it was my fault. I should've taken them to see you when I let the guys take them. I should've done everything I could."

Times like these was frustrating for everyone. Jax blamed himself while Tara blamed herself. It was just pathetic.

"Agree to disagree" Jax rasped as he offered Tara a sad smile. "Although none of this shit would've happened if I just left the club in the first place."

"Let's choose not to go that way now Jax. We have exactly an hour to-" pulled from her thoughts when she heard a familiar raspy voice coming from inside, shock then confusion plastered on her face as her eyes finally grew wide in shock at the scenario that could quite possibly blow up in her face.

"Connor?" She said it while he was addressing the group of intimidating bikers.

"Connor? What are you doing here?" Tara asked in surprise having completely forgotten that the guys had mentioned that Tig had brought Connor back to the clubhouse last night.

"Tara" he whispered. Thank fucking god he thought. "Honestly I have no idea. I was at that-" he cut himself off when he noticed her eye roll which stopped him from continuing his walk towards her, only as he made an effort to head towards her, Quinn, Happy and Tig were blocking him from making any move. "Please, I just need to talk with you."

"Let him go guys" Tara politely asked with a sigh. It was just as well they listened cuz she needed to talk with him too.

"Who's this Tara?" His voice was full of content bottled in rage and everything Tara knew he was trying to hold in.

With a pleading look, she held his hand in an attempt to calm him down while addressing Connor. "Alone?" Connor added with hope as Jax glared him up and down.

Tara slowly conceded knowing that if Jax overheard what she needed to speak with him about, he would most likely lose his shit.

"I won't be long Jax. Please."

Jax held his glare with Connor, eventually offered her a curt nod then without thinking, pulled Tara flush against his own body, cupped her face with one hand as if his life depended on it then wrapped his free hand around her waist snaking it through to her back and resting it just where he knew his crow lay and gave her the most sincere, passionate deep and meaningful kiss he'd ever given her.

Tara was surprised that it wasn't so much the need to claim her in front of this man that Jax no doubt knew she'd been with but more so to reassure her that he wasn't giving up on them. Not while he had the opportunity to mend their failed relationship.

 **AN. More will be coming either tonight or tomorrow.**


	11. Chapter 11

"Well that seemed just fitting" Connor scolded once they were alone.

Tara spun around with a death glare at him. "What the hell are you doing here Connor?"

Connor sighed after a moment. "I have no idea. I wasn't here to begin with if that's what-"

"I don't mean here here, I mean here in Charming. Are you following me?" She asked straight causing Connor to nod.

"No. There was this antique store that had something my mom had been looking for for quite some time-"

"Cut the fucking bullshit Connor" Tara was growing furious by the second. "My house was broken into yesterday and the funny thing was nothing was stolen so the guys know it wasn't a random break in. To save us all the trouble just tell me straight. Why the hell are you in Charming?"

Connor was blown away by her straightforwardness and was surprised that this side of Tara had presented itself. He liked that in a woman and she had never shown it around him- or at least hardly shown it around him.

"Your right. I wasn't just here to pick up something for my mom." Connor sighed deeply as he leaned against Tara's dark blue SUV. "I did break into your house but I swear I took nothing. I only wanted to see how you were doing. If you had set yourself up again."

"What makes you think that I needed checking up on? That I was 'set up'?" Whatever the hell that meant, she had no idea.

"Because I ran you and your kids outta Sacramento. I just wanted to make sure you were happy. Without me in your life and you are."

"Well I can't say I'm pleased cuz honestly I'm not. You weren't really appreciative of my kids but I've learnt to accept that it wasn't only your fault."

"If your referring to having them out of the house on one of our late night booty calls then that was all on you doc. I know you didn't want them to meet me but I was honestly a jackass to them when I met them and I'm not proud of it. That's another thing I wanted to apologise for."

"Well I'm paying for the mistake now. They're slowly letting me back in- not that I ever lost mother of the year award but hey-"

"Well I am sorry about the kids anyway. If I could change what happened then I would."

"You mistreating them as much as I had can be forgiven. Just don't ever do it to your kids and don't make this a fucking habit or I swear I won't be able to save you next time."

Connor looked out across the lot towards the clubhouse and noticed that most of the bikers were glaring their way- and a harder, almost death glare from a certain blonde sitting among them and felt kinda intimidated. "Well I definitely know not to mess with a biker's wife" Connor stated knowing that the blonde who stood protectively in front of Tara was her husband. "That was definitely new territory for me and this will definitely not be happening again." He pulled his attention from the guys and looked back to her whispering in a much quieter tone "I don't know how you could feel safe with these guys but I guess I understand. They're your family."

Tara just shrugged at his last comment and could tell by him shifting uncomfortably on his feet that the guys were making him nervous. That was what a bunch of bikers did when it came to one of their own after all.

"Well I hope you know what your getting yourself into with a baby and a girlfriend Connor. As long as your happy" Tara stated trying to change the subject to a more lighter one.

"I am" Connor stated with a smile that Tara hadn't really seen before. "I'm gonna ask Mel to marry me."

"Wow. That's great." The marriage subject wasn't as bad as Tara thought it'd be and didn't feel as awkward. She was thankful that they could still get along like the mature adults that they were and have a somewhat normal conversation now that everything had been hashed out.

"Yeah it is." After a moments silence, Connor and Tara both looked back towards the clubhouse. "I guess a coffee and a chat wouldn't work out in my favour?"

"Sorry Connor no can do. We might've found a mutual ground between us but that's all there is gonna be."

Connor nodded in understanding. "Well…" He rasped as he pushed himself off of her SUV to stand in front of her "we did have some fun together right?"

"Yeah we did" Tara answered with a smile. Connor took another step towards Tara and this time raised his hand to her cheek- gently stroking it before he cupped her face with both his hands.

"He better treat you better than I did" Connor whispered. "I'm gonna miss you doc."

"Can't say I won't either Connor" Tara whispered as his mouth inched towards hers. She didn't push away as his mouth lingered over hers and she rested her hands on his hips before he closed the distance.

Tara couldn't care to stop the kiss and instead found herself kissing him back. Although it was short and sweet, she missed the feel of his mouth on hers when he pulled back. Or maybe it was just the touch of having someone kissing you that she missed.

"I guess I should get going" Connor whispered as he rested his forehead against hers- hands still cupping her face. He couldn't bring himself to care if these bikers would make a play on him. Saying goodbye to Tara was all he was doing and there was nothing illegal with that.

"Where's your car?"

"Uh- good question" Connor chuckled as he finally pulled back. Part of him hoped that he made the ex husband jealous by kissing Tara but he could tell his plan hadn't worked at all. Jax seemed calm. Agitated but calm. "You wouldn't happen to know the taxi service number now would you?"

Tara couldn't help but feel eyes on her. She didn't bother turning around and answered Connors question.

"Unfortunately Charming is too small of a town to run its own public transport service. I could give you a lift if you want. Just as friends."

"Now I didn't think you just suggested something there but I'd appreciate the lift. These guys are honestly starting to scare me off and it's working."

Tara chuckled as she spun around only to let the smile drop from her face. "Just wait here. I just need to speak with them."

"Don't take your time."

Connor watched as Tara made quick work crossing the lot and he chose that time to take in his surroundings.

Tara didn't know what to expect when she walked back to the guys but she did notice Jax was barely holding it together. It was only now that she let the guilt sink in. She enjoyed the kiss but seeing Jax like that had her almost regretting it.

Almost.

"What was that Tara?" Jax rasped huskily. More huskily than she remembered.

"We're friends Jax. We were just saying goodbye."

"Friends don't kiss each other on the lips" he seethed. He took another pull from the bottle of Jameson he'd ordered the prospect to get before speaking again. "If he knew what was good for him then why hasn't he left yet?" Jax asked as he slowly stood.

"I'm taking him to get his car" Tara answered. His head snapped to her and she could clearly see his jaw clenching together.

"Ain't happening. Bobby, get the prospect to take him. I don't want Tara near him again" Jax ordered before making his way inside.

Tara stood in complete shock but it couldn't be helped. She spun back to Connor and he could tell something had happened but before she could consult him with the change of plans, Happy caught her arm.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you doc. You just overstepped the line there."

"Let go of me" Tara snapped and made her way across the lot- ignoring the guys warnings. "There's been a change of plans. The prospect for the club is gonna take you."

"Figured as much. I better let you go before you get into more shit."

"I couldn't really give a shit right now" Tara chuckled as she hugged Connor this time.

"See you round doc."

"Bye Connor." Without seeing her former lover off, Tara made her way inside the clubhouse after bypassing all the disapproving glares from the guys looking for Jax. She found him in perched on a stool at the bar.

"Jax I-" she approached him hesitantly.

"No need to explain yourself Tara" Jax scoffed. "It's not like I had it coming." He ignored her and continued drinking the glass of Jameson he'd poured.

"In my defense I didn't know that you were here."

"And you knew he was?"

"Yeah. Hap said that Tig picked him up last night drunk." Jax just shrugged. "Why are you drinking for anyway? It's barely noon yet."

"Missed the taste of burning liquor" he scoffed in remark. Just then her cell phone ringing caught their attention and she sneaked a peak.

"I have to take this."

"By all means' He scolded before taking another sip of his glass.

Ten minutes later Tara was walking back with determination written all over her face.

"No point asking who that was?" Jax asked hoping Tara would actually tell him.

"Okay, that's enough. Come with me" she asked, it sounded almost as if she were pleading. He took her offered hand without any hesitance and let her lead him out towards her SUV.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing SOA related but my collection of the series and various other collections of items.**

"Where are you two going?" Quinn rasped seeing determination in Jax's eyes and hesitancy in Tara's.

"Out" Jax rasped in response.

"That the only explanation we get? Out?" Tig asked with a smirk.

"For now yeah" Jax replied as he nodded towards the cars in the lot.

"Coming or what?" Tara asked seeing Jax holding back for a moment.

"Yeah, I'll meet you at your cage" he rasped wanting to speak with Bobby for a second.

"What's up?" Bobby questioned.

"What happened to the guy she was talking too?"

"Don't worry brother" Bobby rasped. "Prospect took him and we promised nothing would happen to him." Jax nodded before dismissing his brothers with a hug and following after Tara.

When he got into her cage the first thing he noticed was that the SUV was swarmed with the same scented perfume Tara always wore. She hadn't changed since and he inhaled deeply before exhaling. He allowed that time for Tara to start the cage and drive, leaving the clubhouse in their rear view.

"So? Where to?" Jax asked sensing her wariness. "Tara?" He asked seemingly watching her away with the fairies.

"What?"

"Where to?"

"Oh, anywhere really. I just wanted to get out of the clubhouse for a bit" she answered honestly.

"I get that."

The sudden phone call Tara received had her on edge. One of the nurses had called her informing her that someone was personally asking of her assistance and demanded to see her in her next available appointment. It wasn't unusual seeing as she was there to offer her services to patients, it just settled something uneasy in the pit of her stomach. She couldn't help but wonder who this person was but before she let it eat away at her brain, she placed it on the backburner and tried to at least be enthralled by Jax's surprising release.

As for Jax and his mind space, it killed him to see that asshole kissing his wife. He had to restrain himself from fighting the urge to kill that punk but swallowed it down.

"How've you been?" The rasp in his voice sent shivers down Tara's spine, she smiled a moment later. She wouldn't allow herself to say she felt somewhat better knowing Jax was out.

"Good. I work back at St Thomas again. As the top neonatal surgeon this time" the smile on her face brought one to Jax's own. He could listen to Tara going on and on about her work- or anything really. Her voice always seemed to calm him down.

"You were always their top surgeon babe" he smiled softly as he leaned back into his seat. "Why ain't you working today?"

"I called in sick" she didn't want to elaborate more and Jax picked up on the hint.

"Your not overworking yourself?" She could hear the concern in his voice and bit the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling.

"I work enough and it works for me. I've done this job a long time now so I'm used to it." The joy in Tara's voice made Jax smile.

Jax could remember just before he got swept up for Tara's arrest that she would forever have a black mark to her name but the thought of Tyne Patterson had him thanking God that his wife could still work medicine.

"What about the kids? It work for them too?"

Tara's eyes seemed to light up at the mention of their kids and it brought another smile to his face. She parked the car up and only then had he realized where she'd driven. It didn't even feel as long a drive as she thought. She glanced to Jax who was shocked at where she brought him

"I guess they're used to it too. Didn't really have much of a choice when I had sitters watch them or something like that."

"Tara?"

"I brought the kids here yesterday" she smiled thoughtfully. "It was truly the best feeling knowing that I could share this piece of us with them." Tara looked out to the small lake that her kids had so much fun in yesterday and she turned in her seat to see if she still had that picnic blanket in the back somewhere.

Jax got out first after seemingly citing what Tara was looking for. He retrieved the picnic blanket from the back seat and moved to lay it under 'their tree' across the dirt road.

Tara soon followed him and sat down beside him.

"Shit I haven't been here in years."

"Go figure" Tara chuckled lightly but she knew that he didn't mean it like that. The last time Tara could recall being here was before everything turned to shit. Before they got married. Before she had Thomas. It was even before the club did their fourteen month prison stint in Stockton. No, Tara distinctly remembered the last time that they were here was the day- or night if you will- when she and Jax conceived their son in the bathroom of a porn studio while a wrap party was going down.

By Jax's change of facial expression, Tara knew that he was thinking back to that night also.

"They like it here?"He asked with a smirk.

"Yes. They loved it. Abel and Thomas swam with Faith down there. The boys being boys were picking on their sister. She made the guys a few flower chains. It really made their day. Mine too."

"Wish I could've been here to see that."

"Abel wanted to go see you. Now that your out he won't be able to keep away."

"What about Tommy and Faith?"

Tara couldn't help but hear the hurt in his voice. "I think Abel didn't want to ask in front of them because he thought I wouldn't allow it."

"You were leaning that way?"

"No. I just wanted to see you first. Give you a heads up that we were back in Charming."

Jax sighed deeply with a nod. "That guy back at the clubhouse- he the reason why you moved back?" She could tell that the guys had told him about what happened the previous day and just nodded- not really wanting to start an argument.

"It's over with now so let's just move on from it" Tara responded softly.

"He won't be problem to you?" Jax asked seriously. He couldn't help but think back to that kiss once a-fucking-gain. His jealousy was starting to slip out even though he and Tara hadn't been together for almost a decade, she was still his wife. She was still his.

"No. I promise." Their eyes held contact for the longest of moments before he finally felt satisfied with her response and nodded curtly.

"Bobby told me you haven't been taking my money" Jax rasped breaking the silence of nature at it's best.

"Yes I stopped taking your share of the money from the club."

"Why?"

"I could provide for my family Jax and it's not because the money was earned dirty before you start jumping to conclusions. I just didn't feel right taking it."

"I'm your husband Tara. It should've felt wrong not taking it. I left you alone for ten years with three kids to fend for without financial aid. Hell, I was supposed to be locked up longer The least you could've done was take it."

"Did Bobby explain that it was the earnings of the last three years that I didn't accept?"

"Yeah but-"

"Did he explain that I didn't use your money for anything but emergencies only? That I've kept them in safe boxes around the house. Each with the same sums of money for the kids college education if they ever chose to attend college?"

"No but-"

"Then there's nothing to discuss Jax. I've taken enough of your money. I'm using the money I did however take towards our kids future education should they choose to go that way. Use whatever of the money I didn't take from the last three years to set yourself up. When that happens, I can assure you that I won't stop the kids from seeing you. You can spend all the time you want with them."

Jax's face lit up at that offer and he didn't hesitate to refuse. There was no way he was staying at the clubhouse and he wasn't gonna fuck up his life this time around. He didn't wanna chance any of the crow eaters fucking with him and he wanted to make it clear to Tara that he was serious about wanting to gain her trust back. But, there was no way he was gonna splash unnecessary fundings out on setting himself up. Not if he could help it anyway.

"I don't wanna use the money if it's going towards the kids education babe" Jax rasped but Tara cut him off with a stern look.

"Your not. From what I was receiving before I stopped your flow was a decent amount of money. A month's income could get you a house fully furnished. You could even have a cupboard stock full of food. And, you'll be set up for a lifetime."

"What if I don't want that? What if I say it's a waste of money?"

"Then your gonna find it hard seeing the kids. I wouldn't be against letting them around the clubhouse but-"

"Don't worry. I don't want them there to begin with" Jax stated. "I just want to be in a home. Somewhere where my family is."

"Jax" Tara warned knowing where he was going with these suggestive comments. "You can't."

"Why not? It works out in favour for all of us. I get to see the kids on a daily. I'll help out around the house. Even take them to school and pick them up. I just don't want to miss out on anything with my family again. Please babe-" Jax sat up and reached for Tara's hands, taking them into his own. "I'm begging you" he pleaded which seemed to be a first for him.

"What about the club Jax?" That question told Jax she might just be considering it. "Where do they stand with you?"

"The club isn't what it is now. The violence has died down. SAMCRO have managed to keep afloat- along with their territory. It's safe to say that there hasn't been any beef with any other MC for a while now." Jax inhaled deeply. "I'm just asking. Would it be too much to want to stay with my family? I'll go as far as sleeping on the couch if your not comfortable with being around me."

Tara stayed silent for a moment. It was almost sickening to hear the silence but he was thankful to hear the birds chirping and the breeze whipping past as opposed to the sickening silence between them.

"To me, yeah it would be. I can't have that Jax" Tara sighed deeply. "I want you to find yourself a place first and I'll even help you. You can spend as much time with the kids as you want. I won't stop you from seeing them." Knowing this was about as far as he'd get with Tara, he defeatedly gave in and nodded slowly.

"Fine."

"Fine what?"

"I'll play this your way. I'll find a damn place to stay in but know this" Jax growled lowly as he tried keeping his cool and inched closer to Tara, almost too close for her liking but he didn't back down and wouldn't let her pull herself any further away. "I'm gonna do my damn best to change your mind. I'll be the man you need me to be Tara. Be the father I never was if you just give me a chance."

Finally Tara gave in- or at least partially gave in. "I need to think about it Jax. And the kids need to see you again first."

"That's better than a flat no right now Tara. I'll take any piece of hope I can get" Jax stated with a small smile to his voice. He shifted closer to Tara while taking her hands in his in the process before cupping her face with the other hand. "Least I know you still love me deep down." Without letting her say anything, he pressed his lips to hers in a soft manner this time before gently asking for access into her mouth once he felt her respond. After coming to her senses, Tara pulled away with a full on blush. It didn't go unnoticed how swiftly he was hovering over her either. "Tell tail sign that I know you still love me still" Jax smirked in a gloating manner before laying down and looking up to the clear blue sky.

"Shit, I can't believe I'm saying this but if you behave, I could tell the kids about you tonight, you could see them by tomorrow and you could spend the day with them as a family even though they have school."

The very thought that she brought this up had Jax shocked in the least. He didn't think it'd be this easy but he took it nonetheless. With a nod and a rare smile, he pulled Tara back to him and kissed her crown. "That's more than nothing again babe. I'm happy your willing to let me back in."

"Just- when the kids see you, don't make promises you can't keep please. I'd hate for them to be crushed by-"

"Tara, I'm not gonna make promises I can't keep because I will keep them this time. Ten years away has opened my eyes to all the broken ones I've made to you and I don't plan on breaking them ever again." By now Jax had risen on his forearm lying on his side and facing Tara, pleading to her with a single look. "Just give me the chance to make it up to you too."

"I already told you Jax." Sighing defeatedly, he pulled away with a nod- although he had no intentions of giving up now.

-o0o-

"What are we doing here Tara?" Jax rasped. They'd parked outside a two story home- that he no doubt figured was hers- a little while later. "This your place?"

Tara nodded in response. "Come on." She led him inside and threw the keys into the key bowl when she entered the kitchen.

Again the scent of Tara's perfume got to his nostrils and he found himself inhaling then exhaling again.

"Are you thirsty or hungry? I could make either."

"Coffee would be nice" Jax smiled. He allowed Tara to get away and he slowly explored the house himself, making his way into the living room after he peered into the kitchen and up the staircase leading towards the bedrooms.

Upon entering the living room, he instantly spotted the large family portrait hanging above the fire mantle in the spacious open living room. His two sons were cradling their baby sister who was between them- smiles all around. If he had to guess, Abel would've been about seven and Thomas five. Faith would've been about one and she was showing a few of her baby teeth. Jax had a similar photo with the exception that it was much smaller in size. They had all inherited the Teller trademark smile.

His eyes then shifted from his three kids together to them in individual baby portraits. The longer he looked over them, the more his heart clenched tightly in his chest.

He never remembered having a picture done of Abel at any given time. The same went for Thomas. As for Faith however, he wasn't around at all to even think about having one done of her and it just went to show how much of a caring father he truly was.

Spotting Jax looking to their babies, she smiled, placed his and her coffee down on the coffee table and stood at arms length behind Jax.

"What's wrong?" Tara asked softly.

"When did you get these done?" Jax asked looking to her for a moment with questioning eyes then back up to Abel's and Thomas' baby photo's in particular.

"I don't think you remember that" Tara said, keeping her eyes on the baby photo of Abel. "Actually, I don't think you'd even seen it but it was just around the time when Zobelle walked into the scene. I'd dressed Abel up in that cute little onesie and I managed to get a professional photographer in Stockton to take his baby photo" Tara's voice lit up with joy. "As for having Thomas' one" she began as they looked to the four month old Thomas smiling a toothless grin at the camera, "it was a little before you guys got out of Stockton" she spoke softly.

"All this time you had photos of the boys and you didn't even tell me? Why didn't you hang them?" Jax asked.

"I don't know really. I think I wanted to give them to you as a present so I hid them. But then the shit with the cartel happened and then you taking over the gavel… I just kinda forgot about them" Tara instantly saw Jax deflate and sighed sadly. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't of said anything."

"Nothing but the truth" Jax said shrugging sadly. Tara busied herself with shuffling around to retrieve something from her display of books in the far corner of the living room, she pulled what Jax made out as a photo album and sat down while he soon followed in suit, getting as comfortable as he could with his fresh black coffee in hand.

"You still take 2 sugars right?"

"Yeah."

With a nod, Tara handed Jax the photo album and allowed for him to flick through to the first page and tapped at picture one. "It was taken the same day. I had the boys dressed in matching clothes wearing their SAMCRO beanies. Abel was and still has an open heart of love for his brother and sister."

Tara patiently waited as Jax stole slow and steady glances at all of the photos and he allowed her to narrate what, when and where this photo or that photo had been taken of the milestones in their kids lives.

Halfway through the album Jax stopped short when he spotted a more outstanding photo than the others which she knew would wound something up inside him- in a good way- and she smiled. Choosing to explain the meaning of this photo at his unasked question she smiled.

"Faith was three then. The ever so curious toddler that she was" Tara chuckled lightly. "Thomas had just broken out of his training wheels and wanted to go for a ride to the park so I took them. I was pushing her up back into the driveway while the boys were already home. I'd gotten the bikes in as usual when Faith just had to see it" a grin crossed Jax's face as Tara proceeded. "The boys knew not to touch it but she was so mesmerised by it- it always caught every girl's eye" Tara chuckled.

"Worked on you didn't it?" Jax grinned and gently laid his hand down on her thigh.

"No. What really got me was your eyes" she replied and laid her hand on his while he turned back to the photo. "Anyways it just had to catch my little girl's eyes and cheered her head off saying 'daddy's bike, daddy's bike'. I couldn't help the tears of laughter from seeing her excitement. She was forcing herself to climb your two wheeled death machine but I stopped her. That's when she had a fit with me and wouldn't speak to me until sleep time. She came crawling into my room, crying about how sorry she was for jumping on daddy's bike and started hugging up on me that I couldn't refuse her." Tara chuckled at the stubbornness in her daughter, even to this day. "That night it gave me the perfect chance to have this photo taken. I called the guys over, asked them to help me set it up and they were more than accepting with the idea."

The photo was of Faith sitting at the front of Thomas who was behind Abel while all three straddled Jax's Dyna super glide. Faith having been put at the very front of the bike was trying to reach for the handle bars- to no avail- making a 'vroom vroom' expression on her face.

"What's wrong?" Tara asked sensing his quietness.

"Nothing. I'm just so blown away with all these memories and stories that you have down to the T of each and every one of these photos" Jax rasped in response. "Tell me about this one" he asked, pointing to a time where it looked as if an eight year old Abel had been cast in a school play.

Jax was more than just blown away with hearing about his kids lives, he felt a huge weight of heaviness knowing he wasn't in any of the photos to share any of the memories Tara had with their kids and Tara seemed to sense it without even looking to Jax.

Choosing to lighten to mood somehow once they'd finished exploring the first of three photo albums, she smiled, squeezed his hands and pulled the photo album from his lap.

"We can look at the other two albums later. There's something I've been meaning to show you- well actually a few things. Go wait out the front and I'll be out there in a bit." Jax furrowed his brows. "Don't ask questions. Just do as I say." She had to practically throw him out the door before setting into motion.

Tara ran up the flight of stairs, retrieved two things out of her wardrobe and made her way back downstairs. Hoping to catch Jax completely off guard, she was glad she had the garage open before she even sat down and shared a little family history with him. Sitting what she pulled from her bedroom down on a table in the garage, she leaned out the large garage door spotting Jax pacing her front yard and she bit her bottom lip in anticipation.

"Jax?" His head snapped in her direction and he somehow looked relieved.

"Damn babe, I was beginning to-" he stopped short when he noticed the black leather on the table where she'd placed it. "What's that?"

"Has the past ten years made you forget your own kutte?" She asked softly with a chuckle. "I asked the guys if I could hold it for you- not that they would take it from me in the first place" she said shrugging her shoulders.

"You kept it?" Tara nodded in response.

"Besides the kids, this kutte seemed to be the only other thing you loved. The kutte and-" she reached for the contents she pulled from the safe, slid her ring finger through the key ring and dangled them from in the air "your Dyna." She moved further into the garage where a thick black sheet of fabric covered his two wheeled death machine and pulled the cover over revealing his Dyna Superglide.

"You-" shit when was the last time he was completely speechless?

"Well, are you gonna say something?" She chuckled warily.

"You kept these? The kutte and the Harley?" Jax asked in disbelief. When he'd shrugged out of his kutte before he was taken into custody, he never thought she would've kept either of his possessions.

"Well yeah, I already said-" she was cut off when he slammed his mouth to hers, backing her against the nearest bare wall in the garage. His right hand held a secure grip on her hip while his left hand cupped the nape of her neck.

Blown completely away at the impact of the kiss she was receiving, Tara was absolutely flushed when Jax pulled away. "Your completely wrong" he rasped causing Tara's brows to knit together.

"About what exactly?" She thought she had it completely right so she was more than confused right now.

"Besides loving the kids, that kutte and this Harley."

"Still don't know-" she was cut off again when he spoke.

"You. You are the only other thing I love besides the kids. There is no kutte and there is no Harley when it comes to loving shit." He pulled away and suddenly Tara felt a sense of loneliness when he did so. "These things right here" he said holding his reaper kutte and the keys to his Dyna "are things I once loved. I care about them a lot but ten years away has given me the time to see how much it hurt the ones I loved. The ones who I truly loved as much as they loved me." Jax inhaled deeply. This conversation was bound to come up and if he were being honest with himself, he was glad it was coming up now. He didn't want to stall this conversation any longer than he had to.

"I realized that more when we were looking through the family album you'd done. I wasn't in a single photo. The kids will never have a single memory of their father while having grown up and I couldn't honestly picture myself in any of them. They looked so happy. Like they hadn't lost their innocence."

"I- I don't understand what your saying Jax." She tried reaching for him but he pulled away running his hands over his face and taking a few deep breaths in the process.

"I guess- I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't want to take their innocence from them. The kutte doesn't mean more to me than my family does. My mind was already set for not wanting it in the first place but it was set in concrete just ten minutes ago."

Suddenly things seemed to be clicking in her head. She was beginning to understand what Jax was saying. "The club rules though Jax- you'll end up a dead man if you walk. They'll see you walking as some kind of rat or you simply using them because of SAMCRO connections for protection on the inside."

"Which is the only reason why I won't ask the club to vote me out. That is the only reason why I can't turn my back on them."

"Which leaves us right where it did before you got locked up" Tara stated hoarsely, the tears evident through the crack of her voice.

"Hear me out babe, before you jump to conclusions and cut me out before we even begin." He was right and she knew it. She had to hear him out.

"Okay, I'm listening."

A few moments later, Jax led Tara inside, sitting side by side and holding her hands in his own while gazing into her sad eyes.

"Besides needing to be there for the sole purpose of the club having my back, there is nothing left for me. I can't get into too much shit without my PO on my ass. I'll retire, long as I can ride I can vote. Club has taken a massive change for the greater good of families like ours. All I have to do is check in with the club and attend church every Sunday."

Tara knew once again that he was right. If he turned his back on the club now, they'd only see it as him using them to his advantage and it wouldn't turn out good for anyone.

"Fine."

"With what exactly?"

"Everything you said. I don't want anything bad happening to you Jax. You just got out."

"Neither do I babe. Things are gonna be different this time around. I swear."

And just like always, Tara fell for his words. They were convincing as always but something in him told her this time was true.

"Which brings me to my next valid point of commitment to you."

"And that is?"

"You don't bring this discussion up. The kutte and the Harley stays within these walls. Long as the guys think my Harley ain't here, I got no reason to ride just yet."

"Good cause I'm sure they think I would've sold it anyway" Tara chuckled. "I was a right out bitch when I forced them out of my life."

"Can't say I recall ever meeting that Tara" he joked.

"Yeah whatever Teller" they shared a knowing chuckle together before he brought her hands to his mouth and placed a lingering kiss to them.

"What time do you pick the kids up?"

Tara checked the time on her wrist and inhaled deeply. "Soon. I should maybe take you back to the clubhouse though."

Jax nodded without arguments and waited on Tara before the headed back.

 **AN. So the mystery caller is having Tara on edge slightly? Jax wanting to keep out of the SAMCRO ring for now? And he was getting a little carried away with stealing a few kisses from Tara. How's about we just sit back for the ride and enjoy what's to come shall we? I'm far from done yet and am enjoying writing right now.**

 **Hit me up with yah thoughts. I really hope you like what I'm writing.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer, I own nothing.**

 **AN. I've been trying to keep up with these updates making sure I was ahead and it was working up until I had to be hauled off on an unwanted weekend away from technology which meant I couldn't get this update out earlier so I'm sorry for being a few days late.**

 **Anyways, on with the story.**

After dropping Jax off at the clubhouse, Tara mentally planned out the rest of the day as she picked her three kids up.

Wanting to go home, settle Abel, Thomas and Faith in for the afternoon with their homework while she prepped dinner and hoping to get a little baking in as well with the hopes of telling her three kids of their father's release after settling in for the evening, all hopes for doing such a thought out plan went to total shit when she found herself rolling into the clubhouse lot a second time today.

"Mom, what is this place?" Faith asked, taking in the foreign surroundings, Tara knew her daughter would've been too young to remember this place. "Wait..." she gasped while stopping in on the motorcycles aligned not so far from where they had parked. Before she could raise any further questions, Thomas spoke up.

"This is the clubhouse Faith, right ma?" He too faintly remembered the place where he spent his first few years on earth but the tags along the clubhouse concrete walls was but a major giveaway.

Tara could already see the guys forming outside through her sides and rear view mirrors with massive grins across their face as her blonde biker stood a few steps in front of them with a confused expression.

She was the first to make the move and tapped on the backseat window trying to block out the grin wanting to appear on her face.

"Did I mention I had a surprise for you three?"

"No" Faith chimed out but she loved surprises and leapt out of the SUV without hesitation. She brushed back her long wavy dark brown locks and huffed. "Why does it have to always be a thousand degrees." Her moan about the weather stopped short as her eyes suddenly caught sight of a familiar- yet unfamiliar- shocking figure making a slow attempt of walking towards them. "Daddy?" The word was hanging on the tip of her tongue as she adjusted her eyes zooming in on the man. "Daddy" was uttered once again only this time it was a little louder catching Abel and Thomas' attention in the process before a grin smacked her right across the face and she bolted it straight across the lot chanting daddy as she did so.

Abel and Thomas stood in complete and utter shock as Faith landed in the arms of their father.

"Mom?" Abel asked in confusion.

"Surprise boys" Tara smiled hesitantly, wrapping her arms around the boys as she said.

-o0o-

Tears were literally evident in Jax's face as his daughter knocked him back a few holding him with a bruising force. He couldn't even seem to find his voice as Faith sobbed happy tears into the crook of his neck.

"It's okay baby girl. I've got you" he finally managed to say, watching as Tara and their boys were making their way across the lot. Dropping to his knees, he couldn't believe the change of events.

"I didn't ever think we were gonna see you again daddy" Faith let out a relieved breath when she pulled away gazing straight into his soft blue eyes.

"Neither did I sweetheart" he replied with a warm smile before she curled back into his neck. "But I'm out now and I plan on staying" he rasped as Abel and Thomas came barrelling into his sides with just as much excitement as Faith had.

After a long emotional reunion between Jax and his three kids, they moved to the picnic table he was sitting at with the guys and finally laid eyes on Tara with a confused expression.

"Thought you were gonna tell them about me tonight?" Tara simply shrugged, wrapping her arm around Thomas and smiled at Faith who fought her brothers off for Jax's attention. My little girl Tara thought before meeting his gaze.

"I was planning on doing that until I realized we were pulling into the clubhouse." Jax gave out a humph sound then smirked knowing she was definitely thinking of him.

He mouthed out a thank you just as Faith demanded his attention as always. Whenever Tara had taken them for visits, Faith was always wanting the center of attention so the boys always had to wrestle her for their father's undivided attention. The same went when he either called. Tara even had to fight her daughter just to hear his voice and to be reassured that he was safe and okay and staying out of trouble. Faith had always written some of the longest letters about her day which Tara would post with hers and her boys and though even from behind bars, Faith was a daddy's girl through and through.

Tara seeing the boys starting to grow frustrated with their self-absorbed sister met Jax's gaze and inhaled deeply.

"Faith, I think you should let your brother's talk with your father too."

"But mama-" she pouted her bottom lip then looked to her brother's who wore annoying looks at her and rolled her eyes. "Fine." Leaping out of Jax's lap and only managing to scout to his side, the boys finally got to spend some time with Jax.

"How's school been boys?" Jax grinned as he ruffled Thomas' hair and pulled him into another side hug on the opposite side of Faith.

"Good so far" Thomas replied. "How long have you been out for?"

"A few days. Your ma wanted to tell you three tonight over dinner that I was out but I guess she had other more surprising plans install for yah" Jax grinned. He was truly thankful for Tara's change of mind. He wasn't sure if he could wait until the next day to see his kids.

As it went, for the rest of the afternoon Jax and his three kids got to know one another all over again. Curious questions were asked about why and how Jax was out to which he simply answered with the same one he gave Tara and the guys. He knew his kids would understand and they had. That included ten year old Faith who was an exact replica of his wife- both physically and mentally.

Jax observed as always. It was usual for him to do so but he felt he could relax some while his three kids surrounded him- talking up massive storms of what went on at school, their lives at home and how much they missed their dad during the three years that they hadn't seen him much due to Tara and her selfishness of keeping them away. He smiled at anything and everything his kids said or would do and it warmed not only Tara's heart but the surrounding members too.

Tara honestly felt regret of willingly not wanting to take the kids to see Jax on their every Saturday hour visits. She hated herself for ever thinking keeping her kids away from their father would do more good than anything else- using the constant stupid cop out 'your in prison' and 'the kids shouldn't be surrounded by convicts' and what not in her head as an excuse to justify her actions. They had obviously been miserable when every Saturday rolled around. At first she knew her kids didn't understand her reasoning- and honestly it was ridiculous even in her own head but she couldn't face seeing Jax after throwing divorce papers at him. It was too painful. So much painful that she put her own needs before her kids in this given situation.

She could've had the guys come pick them up. She could've even arranged to have a very close friend of hers come pick them up and take them.

But she didn't.

Tara was somewhat shocked remembering how she treated Jax that she was even more surprised that he was even willing to work his way back into her good books and start things up again. She had gone over their talk since they had it.

He wants her back.

He was willing to work for her trust and love again.

He was willing to do more than she even thought he was.

It amazed her somehow that he never showed fear when he was holding any of their kids. It was easy for him to talk to them and connect on so many levels.

"MOM?" Abel almost yelled.

"What?" Tara asked in reflex to his need for attention. She didn't realize she had zoned out until she spotted the sun setting above them.

"I've been trying to call out for you but your away with the fairies again." Abel rolled his eyes. "Dad wants to know if he can take us out for dinner."

"Is dad going to pay?" Tara asked looking to the father of her kids. She hadn't even realized it was getting late until she looked out to the lot and noticed the sun had begun to set.

"Yeah."

"Then count me in" Chibs rasped.

"Pay yourself brother. I got a family to feed" he joked although his comment was serious. "If your all coming, same goes" Jax rasped, he stood and stretched his back out.

"Think we'll stay back" Chibs quipped back after a moment chuckling to himself. The guys all thought it would be nice for Jax to take his family out alone anyway.

"Come on then" Faith cheered, already pulling Jax and Tara with her.

-o0o-

The restaurant that Jax asked Tara to take them to wasn't some fancy restaurant with high end locals enjoying their three course menu with an expensive glass of wine. It was a simple child friendly diner that had been around for more than three decades. It was a family ran diner that Jax had always taken Tara to when they were younger knowing they both shared the same love and passion for the burgers served.

The young waitress given to them had started out with taking the family's drinks while offering out the menu. No one but Tara had noticed the young waitress by the name of Chelsea on her name tag that stood blushing. The why though, it was obvious as she followed the waitresses gaze to her son and bit the inside of her cheeks. They took their seat before reading over the menu as Chelsea disappeared to serve other customers.

Jax sat with a sly smirk on his face as he looked over the menu, zeroing in on the one he had been searching for which caught his daughter's attention.

"What daddy?"

Jax drew in his bottom lip as Tara rolled her eyes. She could practically read his mind and spoke for him. "The double deluxe stacker combo is what your looking at right?"

As the three kids searched for what their mother had said, Jax put his menu down grinning like a Cheshire cat. "You remember?" Tara simply nodded before downing a sip of her coke after the waitress placed their drinks down.

"I don't see that one daddy, what's it got in it?" Faith asked in excitement. Jax began to explain what exactly it contained, licking his lips with need as he finished rounding the flavors and ingredients together while the kids read along with their eyes. Before the family could begin explaining out loud what they wanted to each other, their waitress came back ready to take their order. "So-" the waitress began "may I take your order now?"

Tara looked up at the fairly young waitress and spotted Chelsea looking her son up and down, could see the instant blush and change in her posture and looked back to her son who was clueless with the attention he was receiving. She tried hiding her smirk and tapped her fingers over the table to gain Jax's attention before tilting her head towards Chelsea without drawing too much attention to them. It worked because the kids were still stuck in their menu's to even notice their exchange and Chelsea was too busy blushing over their eldest son.

"Faith?" Jax asked allowing his little girl to order first.

It came naturally to him and his kids that they fell into an instant bond. As if ten years apart didn't faze any of them. The kids acted as if their father hadn't just been released from prison or that ten years had parted them. Except that it had and he was still trying to learn the ropes of fathering three kids without a huge barrier between them which was why he was partially cautious with his surroundings along with protecting himself and those he loved and ensuring they were his number one priority. It was always the number one rule in prison. Never let your guard down and turn your back towards anyone knowing you could get yourself into shit if you did.

Jax was pulled from his thoughts when Thomas ordered after Abel. His son was obviously not on the level of testosterone yet but he wouldn't dare mention anything.

"And what would you like sir?"

Jax couldn't even remember when the last time he'd been called sir and it made him cringe at the thought. He was far from innocent and felt he didn't deserve being addressed by that title. However, he pushed any feelings down to correct the girl and answered.

"I'll get the double deluxe stacker combo thanks."

"And you ma'am?" Chelsea asked after nodding.

"And she'll have the double deluxe chili cheese burger combo. Can I also get a basket of onion rings with that?"

"Sure. Anything else?" Tara's shocked expression was everything Jax was looking for and he grinned.

"Nah, we're good darlin."

"How'd you know mom's order?" Thomas asked questioningly.

"You'd be surprised how much I remember kids" he stated while holding Tara's gaze for a moment. When she finally looked away from their intense eye contact, Tara smiled as she raked her hand through her youngest son's blonde shoulder length hair.

Not that long after their meals were served was when Abel finally looked up to their waitress. He'd known she was serving him and his family but unlike talking to other chicks, something in Abel had him stuttering around this one particular girl. Why? He had no fucking idea but Jax picked up on it straight away and grinned once again.

"Thanks darlin."

"So, what else did you and mom always use to do?" Faith asked with a bright Teller smile crossing her face. Faith and Thomas looked back and forth between their parents while Abel slowly got over himself and did the same.

"There were heaps of things really. Your ma took me to the meadow she took you three too yesterday."

"Yeah that place was amazing" Faith exclaimed in a dramatic voice. From there Jax continued on about some of the places he took Tara as a teenager until the moment they were leaving the diner when Faith asked the dreadful question.

"So? Where are you staying daddy?" Thomas and Abel stopped in their tracks, curious as to know also and eyed their parents.

"With us" Tara answered before she could even stop herself causing not only Jax and their kids to look in shock but she could feel her own shock growing.

"Really mommy? Daddy can stay with us?" She paled in comparison to her three kids and looked to Jax with shocking wide eyes.

Jax could see the obvious excitement in the kids and couldn't bring himself to correct what Tara originally wanted of him. He apologized with a look and bent down to be level with his three kids.

"No Jax" Tara stopped him once again and stepped behind her three kids. "I want you to come with us."

"You sure?" She nodded immediately with a reassuring smile which had him smiling back in return.


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

* * *

The twenty minute drive back home was nerve racking for Tara. Tara wanted nothing more than to let him into her bed. She wanted to be as close to him as possible. But Jax had a huge ego when it came to women- especially her. No amount of time apart changed any of that- that much she knew.

She knew the second when Connor had kissed her that Jax tried his damn best to not let his jealousy get the best of him. She also knew that if they rushed things, he would automatically think they'd be back together and Tara didn't want that. More or less, she didn't want that just yet. She knew why she'd allowed Jax to stay with them though. That much was clear to her but she didn't want Jax to get the wrong idea and the same went for the kids. She didn't want to give them any false hope that mommy and daddy weren't getting back together- or not just yet at least.

It would be too soon for her and even though technically they were still married- that he hadn't signed those divorce papers she asked him to sign the last time they saw each other- she hadn't felt like a married woman in years.

For now, she was content with how they were together. At least, they were moving forward. They still had a lot more to discuss. She didn't want to send out the wrong signals just to please him.

And besides, he's lasted ten years without pussy. If he was willing to prove his love for her and plead hers for him, then why not see how long it would take before he cracks. It wasn't like she had a social life as of late and everything isn't always about sex in a relationship.

"Daddy, let me show you my room" Faith exclaimed as she once again pulled Jax with her. Her excitement just didn't have an end button that you could press but Tara adored the way Faith took a shining to her father. Any girl would if they were a daddy's girl.

"Okay Faith, just let me speak with your ma for a sec yeah?" Faith nodded.

"Go ahead and take your shower Faith." Listening, Faith nodded once again before bolting it upstairs as the boys followed.

"Change of events huh?" Jax smirked. "Why'd you agree with letting me stay here babe?" Tara shifted nervously and shrugged before Jax cupped Tara's face, getting into her personal space just like he wanted.

"Jax-" His name was a mere shudder that drew from her mouth and he gripped her fallen hair as he pressed himself against her, allowing her to feel the massive hard on she was giving him.

"I'm willing to wait as long as you are willing to hold off babe. I don't wanna rush into this."

"It's not that-" she began before he cut her off.

"I can see the hesitation in your eyes babe, your not yet sure if you can trust me entirely but like I said, I'm willing to wait. To earn your love again."

"I'm sorry Jax. I know this must be hard on you."

"I get it. I'll take the couch."

"No" she cut in before he could pull away fully. Before his heart could well with excitement, it soon deflated. "There's a spare room upstairs." Yeah that was definitely a deflation to his excitement "you can take that but no doubt Faith will ask you to sleep with her." Tara instantly felt like shit and tried masking her true feelings of seeing the hurt on his face.

"I've always been turned on by your jealousy babe but over our ten year old daughter? I didn't think I'd ever see the day" Jax joked causing Tara to scoff at him. She knew he was trying to lighten the mood that suddenly felt awkward.

"Get real Jax. I'm not jealous of my ten year old daughter. I offered you the guest bedroom remember."

"Right" he smirked, although it didn't quite come off as he intended it to. He felt rather unhappy about that. He knew they were rushing things since only earlier in the day they came face to face with each other but he was still determined to win Tara back.

He knew she just needed time and even though he was willing to give her that, and even though his time was up behind bars, he wasn't going to drop his whole affection towards her because of her feeling a little uncomfortable around him.

Once he finished tucking Faith in for the night and checking in on the boys even though they were far too old to be tucked in or checked on for that matter, Jax made his way back downstairs knowing Tara had just finished her shower and her bedroom light wasn't on. He stood in the doorway in the living room admiring the small frame of his wife before her voice caused him to jump.

"See something you like?" She knew he'd been standing there for quite some time just watching her and she didn't mind. She placed her wine glass down and smiled when he sat down beside her, draping his arm over the top of the couch. That look in his eyes causing a warm ball of fire to slowly burn in the pit of her stomach.

"Yeah, I do actually."

"Did Faith go down okay?" Wanting to change the subject, and fast before he pulled a move, she sighed in relief when he laid back getting somewhat comfortable before answering.

"Yeah. Asked me a bunch of times if I could sleep with her. In the end she didn't get what she wanted but asked if I was still gonna be here in the morning." He didn't know what that meant because he was staying the night and Tara could tell that he was confused.

"She thinks that when she wakes in the morning it would all be just a dream. She's always wished you were here with us. I don't have to hear it from her but I know sometimes when she comes running into my room and see's something is missing, she's thinking about the what if's" Tara answered his unasked question.

Jax inhaled sharply, he was reconsidering his answer in turning her down now and it made Tara smile sadly. "If you want, we could look through more of those albums and talk some more?"

"I'd like that."

Considering it was still fairly early, Tara and Jax spent a few hours of the night and unexpectedly well into the morning exploring a few more family memories through the photo albums that Jax just couldn't get enough of while enjoying each other's laughs and sharing a beer or two as Tara switched to beer after she ran out of red wine.

They'd spoken of how Jax's time in prison was hard on him but he didn't use their time to dwell on his past. It was a past for a reason and he wanted to keep it there.

"Shit" she whispered under her breath, casting her eyes down at her watch. "I really should be heading to bed. I have a few appointments I really should make in the morning but if your up to it, you can take the cage, spend some time with the kids while I get work off of my to do list then we can spend the rest of the day together?"

"I'd like that" Jax smiled lovingly. He couldn't wait to treat his family with some of the things he use to do with Tara starting with an early wake up call that would surprise his family.

"Are you heading off to bed or-"

"I'm gonna finish off my beer first" Jax answered as he placed the latest photo album of Abel in his early teenage years and Thomas and Faith following in age not far behind him.

Tara quickly made her way around the house securing the property and flicking the kitchen light out before leading Jax upstairs with the sole purpose of heading to bed.

Jax however had different idea's and pulled her back by her arm. He had her pinned against the wall with his hands on her hips, lingering over her soft moist mouth.

"Jackson-" she whispered in sexual frustration for the second time that night. His hands made their way under the hem of her shirt where he drew soft circles with the pads of his thumbs over the sensitive flesh. She fluttered her eyes up to meet his and was met with those warm familiar baby blue eyes that she loved so much. She didn't know how he ever could do it but her eyes shut at the touch of his mouth against hers. His hands cupping her face ever so gently before he pulled back, much to her dismay.

"Night babe" he rasped, placing a delicate kiss to her forehead before turning on his heel for the spare room he was currently occupying.

Tara couldn't sleep a single second once her head hit the pillow. Consumed with all types of thoughts about those small but sweet kisses Jax had surprised her with, she was overwhelmed with sexual thoughts of what could've conspired from tonight's event.

Jax too laid wide awake. Everything leading up to the moment he kissed Tara outside of her bedroom was just perfect for him. It was one thing to receive photos from Tara of their kids in prison but another to hear the stories that came along with those milestones and he enjoyed every moment she shared with him.

One thing they both knew, they still had those deep and meaningful feelings for each other. That hadn't died out one bit over the years.

* * *

Without much effort, Jax had woken all three of his kids in the hopes of a good morning start to the day. It was barely five thirty but Jax managed to get his kids out of bed, taking a throw over blanket for warmth without Jax giving away too much of his surprise to them.

His sleepless night had him thinking of some brilliant idea to get the kids up so they could see the sun rising over Charming and he had the best view to see it.

"Why are we waking up so early daddy?" Faith asked with a yarn, she had her arm wrapped around his waist as he led his three kids into their mother's SUV.

"Just go back to sleep sweetheart, I won't be long." Jax allowed his eldest to slip inside Tara's SUV so he could head back inside.

"This better be worth the early morning Jax" Tara huffed, she was fully dressed for the day at the request of Jax saying he would drop her off at work.

"Yeah right, I can tell you haven't even slept" Jax quipped out with a knowing grin causing Tara to huff. The way he was acting, Tara could tell he hadn't slept much either but she allowed for him to open the passenger's side door and close it behind her.

Twenty minutes later they were pulling into the diner they had dinner at last night. "Gonna tell us why we woke up to come to a diner dad?" Thomas groaned. He and Faith were always the sleepy heads in the family and hated being woken up but on this very morning, he was wide awake and taking in the scenery as it passed- although he was taking in nothing but the darkness of the early morning seeing as the day had barely started.

"Memories son." The kids didn't quite catch onto that but Tara had and she smiled hopefully. He was building his own memories with his family. "I won't be long."

Tara couldn't help but to ponder on what Jax had installed for their morning. She allowed herself to at least try and not dig until he had taken them wherever it was.

Jax was back sooner than expected which told Tara that he had put some serious thought into what he wanted for the morning. "Right, let's go." The excitement in his voice was something she couldn't miss. He drove through Charming with determination on his face. The kids had fallen back asleep some time since then and it wasn't until Tara saw Jax pulling up a dirt road with trees caving in that she realized where they were headed.

Jax smirked to himself and reached over to place his hand over her thigh before squeezing gently. She met his eyes briefly before flicking her attention back out onto the road. Five minutes later they came up to a clearing just as the sun was beginning to rise over the small town. Again their eyes met and Jax cupped her face this time before flicking his eyes quickly to the back seeing that his kids were still asleep before he stole a quick kiss from his wife that caught her off guard.

"Let's get the kids up" he whispered when he pulled away and slid out of the cage with their breakfast in toe.

"Kids, wake up" Tara whispered, allowing them time to rise from their sleep, she stood with Jax overlooking the whole of Charming against her SUV. "You didn't have to do this Jax" Tara whispered.

"And miss your priceless smile? How could I pass up the chance babe?" When Jax cupped her face yet again, she leaned into his touch before the kids made themselves known. Abel, being the loving brother that he was, wrapped their throw over, over his brother and sister as the morning chill set over the landing that their father had stopped at. He could tell Tara was cold when she hugged herself and hid his grin as he pulled out another throw over and opened it out to wrap around his own body before opening his arms out for her.

With a hand gesture telling Jax to wait a second, Tara reached back into her SUV hoping that the picnic blanket was still in the backseat and smiled when she spotted it. She pulled it out of the cage to lay it out on a green patch of grass near the edge of the look out giving them the perfect view of Charming at it's best.

Abel, Thomas and Faith all got comfy choosing to huddle close to each other on their stomachs with their feet out of as they each sat with their arms holding their head up so they could watch the sun rise which in return left not much room for their parents.

"Ma, aren't you and dad gonna sit?" Abel asked with furrowed brows. Tara could already tell her kids had planned this and knew the only way she and Jax could sit with them was if she sat between his legs. Jax knew there could've been other ways to sit but before she could even begin to open her mouth to say something, he was already sitting down, his legs were outstretched and parted with just enough space for her to sit between and the throw over was left as an open invitation.

"I won't bite babe" Tara rolled her eyes at her own hesitation and huffed. She reached for the bag containing what Jax brought from the diner. Sitting down between Jax's legs was a lot more awkward for herself than it was for him. Jax smirked and wrapped his arms around Tara with the blanket while inhaling her scented shampoo deeply. "Warm now?"

"Yeah" she whispered back causing Jax to peck her exposed neck. "Stop Jax" she whispered, hoping her kids didn't hear the moan that escaped her mouth when his hands reached for her center. "Please-" she added, even though she leaned back into his chest causing Jax to move his hands from his intended moves on working her over with yet another smirk.

He knew it was inappropriate, especially in front of their kids but he couldn't help himself. They were oblivious as to what was going on between them as the sun rising had their full undivided attention.

"Whoa, look at that" Faith stated in astonishment.

First came the twilight, allowing its colors to soften the landscape- as if it were caving the town in- soon a slow sequence of shades of purple, red and golden sheets arose, allowing for the twilight to disappear as dawn presented herself. The morning air slowly making a blanket over the small town and the family of five as they continued to watch dawn make her appearance. It was truly a sight to see and one Jax hadn't witnessed in over a decade. The first his kids had actually witnessed something as great as this. The street lights in Charming were slowly beginning to turn off as dawn finally set and it was daylight.

"Truly something" Jax whispered.

"How did you know about this place dad?" Thomas asked breaking his father's concentration. Two pairs of blue eyes and a pair of hazel green eyes looked up to their father curiously before Abel set his eyes back over the sunrising of Charming.

Jax positioned himself so he was leaning on his palms outstretched behind him, with Tara still leaning against his chest as he moved. "I was ten when I first came up here. My father- your grandpa I guess- brought me and my brother up here. Said if we ever needed to think and get away from everything back home that there was just a track over there if I ever needed to take it" Jax pointed off to their left to where he remembered the track leading from Charming to this lookout was and sighed. "I guess the track over grew over the years. If you were a local you'd know it was there but it's kinda hard to find."

"Did you ever use to come up here?" Abel asked. "After grandpa John showed it to you and your brother?" Jax smiled with a nod.

"All the time. Sometimes I even stayed up here. Just to sleep under the start and to get away from my mom I guess" Tara chuckled to herself at the last statement. "But this was the place where I actually met your ma." Tara held her breath at that.

"But mom said you went to school together" Faith asked in confusion. "Wasn't that where you met?"

"School doesn't count to me. Your ma was a few years behind me in school but being the smart woman that she is, she skipped a few grades from first. And me being the notorious boy of Charming, I hadn't really noticed your ma until I first saw her here. I would've been about fifteen at the time."

"It was a hard time for your dad too" Tara whispered out into the early morning.

"How so?" Abel asked curious to know. Tara reached out for Jax's hands and tangled them around her own body knowing it was still a cold subject to talk about.

"Was around the time my dad died." Jax was comforted by Tara but he'd gotten over his father's death a long time ago, however, she didn't need to know that and he enjoyed her hold all the more.

"Oh, sorry to hear that." Aside from all the stories their mother had always told them, they never heard of the one where their parents actually met. As far as they were concerned, their parents had met in school like Faith had said.

"Your ma helped me through the loss a lot. She was always there for me." The grip around Tara tightened and he kissed her cheek and whispered "I love you babe" into her ear hoping that their kids hadn't heard his little confession. When she gripped his hands, that told him she loved him back.

"We spent most nights up here when shit was tough on us" that was in reference to the time Jax had found out Tara's dad had been beating her. It was a regular occurrence from then on that Jax brought Tara up here or they would just chill in either his room or Opie's.

"I wish I could've seen you both then" Faith whispered hoping herself that her parents hadn't heard her small confession. She always pictured her mom to be happy with her father and hoped that they would somehow make up.

As the family continued to watch the sun rising to it's fullest, Tara shuffled so she could peer over her shoulder and look up at Jax and shared a smile all too familiar.

"I love you Jax."

In that moment, Jax knew he'd won his wife back and it was the best feeling in the world.

 **AN. So guys I hope you really enjoyed this chapter and this is not the end of it yet. There's still more juiciness to come of our favorite couple so I hope your still reading along with me.**


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

AN. So I intended this chapter to be part of the previous but I got a little carried away with the sweet scene that I just had to end it where it was. I hope you enjoy this chapter and finally your questions will be answered.

* * *

After sharing their first ever sun rise together, the family all ate their cold breakfast before Tara was due in at work for the day. That should've been something Jax thought about more clearly but he was excited to do this; starting up his own memories with his kids.

Once they'd dropped Tara off at St Thomas, Jax made his way back to Tara's surprisingly easy to navigate the streets of Charming as if he hadn't just spent ten years behind bars.

"So what's on the list first old man?" Abel asked in a joking manner as his father closed the front door behind him. Considering that Tara had mentioned something about his earnings from the club being at the clubhouse, he needed to start there to collect.

"If you jump in the shower quick, we can head over to the clubhouse so I can get something then you have my undivided attention until your ma get's off work."

"Seriously?" Faith asked with gleam in her eyes. "I always wanted to just hang out with you. Do things that daddy's do with their kids."

Thomas rolled his eyes knowingly but he couldn't of agreed just as much. "Yeah dad. Let's do that." While Thomas and Faith bounded their way up the stairs, Abel lingered back biting down on his bottom lip nervously.

"Something wrong son?" Jax asked. He couldn't remember the time he actually was alone with his kids- or Thomas and Abel more specifically- and he suddenly grew nervous himself.

"No. I'm just really glad your out dad. I was beginning to think the worst when we stopped seeing yah" as nervous as the younger Teller was, Jax could understand where he was coming from. He had the same fears also.

"I'm out now son and I don't plan on ever going back. This is about making our own future and I hope I'm still part of that" Jax asked.

"Course you are dad. No one could ever replace you in my opinion."

"I'm glad buddy." Jax pulled his eldest son in for a strong hug hating how much the boy could now fit into his arms making him realize just how much he'd missed in his kids lives. "You should head up and change fast" Jax rasped out with a strained voice.

"Yeah."

* * *

Tara was working through an abundance of paperwork that she let lack in her absence. Forgetting that she'd had to do a report on a surgery she'd done a few days prior, she worked her way through that first. Following, she mentored Samuel through a post op prep that he was working on for one of his given assignments as part of his residency program. That lasted for more than half the morning until her first appointment that was just a regular monthly checkup from a previous infant whose life she saved from a neural tube defect.

"Kathy, if you have any more questions or you don't feel quite sure of your daughter's health, just come in and ask for me personally and I'll see what I could do okay?" Tara asked, offering her help as they were finishing up with her first consult.

"Thank you Dr Knowles. I won't make this a force of habit but I was just concerned for her health" Kathy replied before Tara sent her on her way after a few more words.

It was now midday and Tara had just met with her second consult for the day and had another one in an hour. She wasn't even through halfway of her shift and knew that her work day wasn't even halfway. It was just about lunch and she'd called Jax an hour or so ago informing him that she wouldn't be able to make the family day but he understood. Jax mentioned something about dropping in for a bit before heading to Lodi wanting to take the kids to the zoo at Faith's request and the boys dismay but what the only girl of the family wanted, the only girl got.

Hoping to grab a quick bite to eat at the cafe around the corner from St Thomas, she wasn't surprised to see her SUV making an appearance into the parking lot. She crossed the road swiftly with a smile and waved when her kids spotted her.

"Hey guys where you headed?" Tara asked as if she didn't already know.

"Well we spend most of the morning at home, at the clubhouse with the guys but now daddy's taking us to the Zoo in Lodi. Isn't that awesome mommy?" Faith answered in one breath. Tara wasn't at all astounded by her daughter's gleam.

"Yeah baby girl that is."

"We just wanted to see if you wanted to have lunch with us first?" Jax asked.

"Good thing you caught me on time, I was just about to grab a bite to eat at the cafe around the corner" Tara stated. Tara got inside and they made their way to the cafe, ordering whatever they wanted before sitting down on an outside picnic table.

As the family once again sat around the table eating their wraps or sandwiches, they were clueless to notice a set of dark eyes watching them from a distance.

"I should be getting back."

"Yeah we've taken up your lunch hour already. What time do you finish?"

"Should be around eight."

"We'll be here to pick you up" Jax replied.

Once Jax had Tara back at St Thomas they waved their mother goodbye before Tara set back into work for the rest of the day. She prepped herself for her next consultant making sure she read over her next patient's notes but came up short.

"Uh, Helen- I'm missing some notes for my next consult" Tara began as she looked up from her files in her hands to Helen who was the receptionist. "It was the one that you called me about yesterday?" Tara asked unsure of herself.

"I'm sorry Dr Knowles they're right here. The phone call we exchanged yesterday was very brief but I just want to warn you now that the woman was very persistent. Wouldn't see anyone else but you." Helen wouldn't dare mention that she'd been too busy the previous day to not slip Tara her notes correctly. Nor would she mention that the woman was not only really persistent but a total bitch in the way she held herself and how she demanded to see Dr Knowles and only Dr Knowles.

It wasn't odd that Tara received appointments as such so she paid no thought to it. When she read over the brief notes she furrowed her brows together and spun back around. "Uh, Helen, are you sure this patient requested me?"

"Yes is something wrong?"

"The fact that I'm a neonatal specialist I'd say there is a huge problem." Helen furrowed her brows together and took the notes Tara was handing her back to read them herself. The notes read something along the lines for an oncologist to read. The crease in her forehead doubled as she noted herself her mistake.

"Dr Knowles I apologize but this patient was considerably persistent with-"

"You keep saying that Helen" Tara said through a sigh. She wasn't angry, or even frustrated really. "What's the patient's name and then maybe I could-" Tara's sentence fell short when she heard a voice she never thought she'd hear again.

"Well if it isn't my well established long lost daughter."

"That's the patient Dr" Helen confirmed in a whisper causing Tara's blood to run cold and her face from Helen's perspective had definitely paled in comparison to her usual olive skin. "Dr Knowles?"

"Helen, call security please" she whispered as strong as she could before turning and facing the woman who'd caused her so much suffer, pain, anger, relief and a whole lot more all in one pill. "What are you doing out?" The woman looked old, pale and fragile.

Even though Tara was surprised to see Gemma here, it wasn't at all surprising to see even in her old age, Gemma could still keep up her appearance. The wicked high heeled boots. Black leather from head to toe. A shiny overly large handbag draped over her forearm and jewelry that was totally unnecessary. But the one thing that was off putting from the usual biker bitch facade that reminded Tara of the Gemma she used to remember was her salty grey hair and age lines.

In all the years that Tara had known this woman not only as a mother figure but her tormentor for the past god only knows how many years, Gemma never let her hair grey as nature took it's cause.

Looking around at all the patients in the waiting room, Tara did not think she'd be standing here asking a stupid question like that. The fear was evident on her face. Patient's sitting in could tell something was going to happen but to her own surprise, Tara swore she could see a tear had escaped from Gemma Teller-Morrow's eyes.

"Please, I know I don't deserve your time or even anything remotely near that but I need to talk to you."

"Well considering that one of the many forms of communication is by talking, I'd say that that is usually what people do and you are correct; you don't deserve my time. Please leave on your own accord or these guys will escort you out. I have a lot of work to do" Tara stated after glancing over Gemma's shoulder to see two security guards standing a fair distance away- at the ready should their assistance be necessary.

"No you don't Tara. I asked for the next available appointment on your schedule and your free for the next hour. I'm going to keep trying until you speak with me so I think it'd be in your best interest to just talk right now" Gemma stated with a growl causing Tara to narrow her eyes at Jax's mother. Tara couldn't fucking believe this. Even in her old age she was still demanding.

"Your forgetting one thing though Gemma" Tara walked up to the woman who almost ended her life ten years ago, swallowed the lump of fear down in her throat as she stood a decent arms length away, grew enough courage and spoke. "You tried to kill me. _Inside my own kitchen._ Forgive me if you think I'm going to give you the time of day. You lost all respect I had for you when you ratted me out." Tara raised a brow when Gemma didn't bite at her last statement which proved right then that her suspicions were confirmed. Gemma was the one who ratted Tara out all those years ago over the Otto Delaney bullshit she went through. "Remember your place Gemma. You do not run Charming anymore. You think you have sway over me? You think the guys care? Or Jax for that matter? Clearly you were left in prison to rot. Jax is no longer stuck under your thumb so whether I speak with you or not isn't my loss. It's yours. Guys?" She asked looking back to the hospital security guards with a glow she didn't know she still had and looked back to Gemma. "Take her out of here please."

"Come on ma'am" one of the guards asked.

"I'm dying Tara please I just want a few minutes to say what I need." Tara stood in complete shock. She'd figured as much after putting the pieces together but she didn't care. She turned her back on her the woman who'd haunted her dreams since the day they met without even batting a lash. "I saw you around the corner with my grand kids. I saw a little brown haired girl that looked just like you-" Gemma didn't even get a chance to finish once Tara was in her face with a deadly look in her eyes.

"Don't talk about my kids. You know nothing of my family." As much as Tara could see the shock growing in Gemma's eyes, she wouldn't dare have this woman speaking of her family in a light that she had blown out many years ago.

"If you don't talk to me now then your conscious will weigh heavy on your shoulders. How do you think my Jackson will take you after finding out I came here and told you I was dying? His so called wife purposely not telling him that his mother is dying?"

"Okay let's get one thing straight right now, one; that is low even for you Gemma. Stooping so low as to say that about me. Two; how dare you even put that on me. I'm not the one who ruined your life. Everything you touch crumbles in your cold hands and thinking you can just put all this on me in the first place to do just that? I won't even consider speaking with Jax about this encounter. As far as I'm concerned, Gemma Teller died the day John did and Gemma Morrow was born a much more evil woman" Tara inhaled a much needed breath before finishing with "and three; he is not and hasn't been _your_ Jackson for a very long time. He is and will always be mine" Tara growled a lot harsher for her liking.

Gemma ignored how those words truly affected her, hoping that her own towards Tara would've opened her eyes as they always would back when everything was perfect in Gemma's life.

"Excuse me if I forgot but your the smart one" she mocked.

"Yeah that's right Gemma and don't think I won't have a restraining order against you since you tried killing me once before, I definitely won't put it past you again; even if you are dying." Tara knew she had Gemma right where she wanted her. The patients- much to her dismay- would be witness to Gemma harassing her and as totally unprofessional as this small show down was, Tara had never felt relieved in her life to be surrounded by as many people in this moment with Gemma Morrow.

Finally seeing the elder woman for who she truly was, she backed away. The sound of Gemma's heels clicking away slowly faded off in the distance.

"Dr Knowles? Are you okay?" Helen asked concerned like hell. She had never even heard that Tara's life had been threatened and from picking up bits in their heated argument, that woman was her mother in law. That was in her books considered a low of lows.

"I'm fine. Just- page Karyn for me will you? I'll be in my office."

* * *

As much as Tara wanted to break down completely, she didn't. Not only was it completely unprofessional in her work environment but she wouldn't allow the elder woman to get under her skin until she was in the safety net of her home. She needed to get through this day and she still had another eight hours to go.

A knock on the door stopped Tara from pacing her office and she reached for the door, pulling it back and sighed in relief.

"I can explain everything-"

"Good then because I'm not leaving here until I get a full background on what was the cause of the events leading up to the little show down out in the waiting room where vulnerable parents of patients were sitting witnessing a high professional doctor to act out the way you had."

With an extreme sigh, Tara frowned. "My husband and kids should almost be in Lodi by now. He has my car-"

"Go ahead Dr Knowles" Karyn answered Tara's unasked question. Tara excused herself and made a quick call to Jax.

* * *

Although it wasn't surprising that he spotted her name flash across the burner he had, he bit the inside of his cheeks to keep the smile from his face.

"Hey babe" Jax called through the receiver after picking up.

"Jax, how far are you?" Jax knitted his brows together instantly on alert by her rather unnerved voice.

"Half hour out of Charming. Something wrong babe?"

"I'm finishing up in a half hour. Think you can come get me?" Jax checked the rear view looking back at his two youngest kids to which they knew something had come up and saw their sad looks.

"Yeah, we'll be there soon." Tara hung up without so much as a goodbye and Jax sighed.

"Change of plans?" Abel asked as he glanced out his window from the front seat.

"Yeah, turns out your mom is finished for the day so we're gonna pick her up" Jax stated and instantly spotted the changes to his kids faces.

* * *

Tara was waiting out by the front entrance with her bag draped over her shoulder after going over the past twenty minutes with Karyn and Jax couldn't help but read her instantly. Something had definitely happened since he last saw her and he didn't like it.

"Wait in the car kids" Jax rasped as he parked and unbuckled before leaping out of the SUV. "Babe?" He questioned.

"Not here Jax, later" she gestured to their kids and smiled sadly before sliding into her front seat and putting on a face.

"Mom what's wrong?" Faith asked full of concern. Jax got back into the SUV and started the cage up again.

"Nothing baby. I'm sorry I put a delay in your guys plans but now we can have that family day out."

 _Yeah something was definitely up_ Jax thought as he pulled out of St Thomas.

From the drive to the zoo in Lodi it was silent, safe to say that whenever she needed to fill it- Faith would. As a family they walked around the grounds checking out all the wildlife and bird species on display. It wasn't really Abel and Thomas' taste in wanting to visit the place but they sucked what teenage pride they had for the sake of living their sister's dream and their family day.

Halfway through the sanctuary Tara finally had enough of the agonizing looks Jax would give her and shoved back into an empty hallway and crossed her arms over her chest. "It would be nice to what to not spend this day being stared at Jax." The growl in her voice raised more concerns to Jax and he mirrored her image, crossing his arms over her chest.

He scoffed after a small stare down then smirked. "You seem to have forgotten one thing babe" he rasped, the corner of his lip raising slightly.

"And what might that be Jax?"

"That I know you better than I know myself and I know something is fucking wrong" his playful side vanished instantly and he backed her against the wall, holding her in place. "Your on edge, have been since we picked you up and it doesn't help that your constantly looking over your shoulder like you think someone is following you."

"Don't do this" Tara slightly begged and turned her face away from him. "Please" she tried pushing him away and that's when he spotted water welling in her eyes and he released her.

"Hey, what's wrong babe? You can tell me."

"I will, just not here. Family day remember?" She wiped the tears before they could fall then reached for his hands. "Just stop staring at me."

"Fine, just give me one thing first." His raised brow and him trying to hide his smirk was all she needed to know to know what he wanted. With a raised brow of her own, she silently challenged him giving him the only answer he needed so without a second thought, he pulled Tara flush against him and let her back hit the wall again, cupped her face with his hands and closed the distant between their mouths and gently kissed Tara. This kiss right here, right now that he was claiming over her wasn't one out of possessiveness like he intended the kiss just yesterday at the clubhouse to be. No. This one was filled with love. Sheer passion between husband and wife. Tongues slowly seeking need and hunger for entrance into the other's mouth. Breath taking. Simply pure eruption of fireworks going off in the background was everything Tara and Jax could feel in the intense passion between them and although it was short lived, they felt all those familiar feelings soon resurfacing once again and Jax simply needed more.

It was the clearing of a throat that pulled Tara away from Jax. Her hazy filled eyes and the blush on her cheeks were a tell-tail sign that she was locked under Jax's charm once again.

"Okay you both need to get a room" Abel chuckled from where he stood not so far away. The smirk on his face was a clear sign to Tara that he'd seen what they were doing but Jax just couldn't help the grin as he moved to pull her into his arms.

"Go find your brother and sister. We've been here long enough."

AN. I'm cutting it here simply because the next part would make the whole chapter longer.


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer. I wish I owned some piece of Anarchy besides my fan collection but unfortunately I don't.

Please note that from chapter 10 through to chapter 16 is over a period of two days just so there's no confusion and saves you all time flicking back to remembering where we are at.

Thank you all for taking your time out to read my story(ies). It means the world to me that you are sticking with me through this.

* * *

Flashback- Charming High Court- 2013

The evidence was clearly against her. Gemma Teller-Morrow had two cases stacked against her. Pleading not guilty for the charge of attempted murder and guilty for possessing an illegal firearms weapons with no licence to hold it at the crime of the scene.

If given that she were to plead guilty for the attempted murder charge, there was no way she'd been given a less harsher sentencing so her pathetic lawyers forced her to plead not guilty. As for the firearms weapon in her possession, she couldn't work her way out of that one and her lawyers found it suit that she plead guilty.

Eli's statement first hand states that Gemma intended on killing her daughter-in-law in a brutal manner but the endless list of confrontation that the doctor had given the law abiding lieutenant about her mother-in-law in the days leading up to this tragic crime scene was very descriptive to the point of no return for Gemma.

Jax was on the scene also so his statement clearly pointing to Gemma intending on killing his wife. With nothing but hostility between the mother and son, Jax's statement played wasn't a great deal in the sentencing of his mother's death mainly because he was speaking out of nothing but hatred and aggression and he himself had a pending case against him also.

Then there was the witness herself. Tara stated clearly that there was no love lost between herself and her so called mother-in-law; which is backed up by Eli's statement, and that Tara had stated she wasn't ratting Jax out. Tara had also mentioned that Gemma always tried her damn best to rid of her much to the Judges dismay which now lead to Gemma's final penalty.

The only thing that Gemma knew for sure was that in her own head, she wasn't guilty of any of the given charges against her. As she stood in the defendants stand listening as the judge began Gemma's sentencing.

"The jury finds the defendant guilty for first degree attempted murder against Dr Tara Grace Knowles and also found guilty for possession of illegal firearms weapons." The judge looked up from her papers for a brief moment and noticed his DA along with all eyes on him. "By the State of California and the San Joaquin county Sheriff's department, I hereby sentence you Gemma Teller-Morrow to twenty-five years to life imprisonment with a possibility of parole in twenty years. Given that you were not only caught in the act of such a heinous crime with possession of weaponry, I also add a further two years sentencing."

Gemma had nothing better to do than nod in defeat as she looked down at her wrinkled hands that were slowly beginning to shake as the jury gave their final decision. She could feel the tears welling in her eyes knowing deep down in her own head that she was not guilty of such a crime.

Present- 

After a long day travelling and walking around you'd think that three kids would be exhausted by ten. They'd had their round of showers and Jax had cooked a rather nice dinner- with the help of Tara and they'd all eaten together as a family with a round of conversations that Faith just had to start up. Had Tara not sent Abel Thomas and Faith to bed five minutes ago, she'd no doubts that they would use the staying up late as an excuse to not go to school tomorrow and would most likely still be up with their parents now.

"Jesus Abel, what the hell?" Thomas asked when he walked into his brother coming out of the bathroom from brushing his teeth.

"They're working shit out" Abel stated causing Thomas to furrow his brow as he looked down the stairs to hear their parents muffled voices coming from the living room.

"Yeah, so?" Thomas questioned. "Don't you want mom to be happy? Or dad for that matter?"

"Of course I do baby bro" Abel snapped shaking his head from side to side. "I just hope he doesn't make promises he can't keep is all."

"Understandable" Thomas shrugged. "Now I'm off to bed before the wrath of Tara Teller comes up here and see us gossiping like a pair of chicks." Abel rolled his eyes with a knowing grin but did the same thing Thomas did.

Back down stairs Tara was turning out all the lights while Jax was checking the alarm system before she lead him to her bedroom and closed the door behind him. Jax watched as Tara moved naturally around her bedroom, discarding her necklace that he realized he'd brought her a very long time ago. He smiled seeing that it was still very well intact before she climbed into her overly large bed.

"Seriously need a bed the size of this?" Jax grinned, pushing himself off the wall and making his way further into the room.

"When you have three growing kids who hog most of the room and even go as far as kicking you out of your own bed, then yes it's mandatory" Tara lightly chuckled before the mood shifted and she suddenly felt a chill run down her spine and arms and Jax could instantly tell the change of air. Without asking permission, Jax stripped from his clothes after having a shower of his own earlier and neatly folded them. It wasn't until he spun back around from placing his clothes on the dresser that he felt her hands on him. He didn't even hear her creep out of the bed but the moment he spotted her eyes on him- his body that was- he watched curiously as she trailed her fingers up his torso, reaching it's destination over the bandage on his left pec.

"Is that?" Jax nodded at her unfinished question.

"Faith's name? Yeah." He lightly removed the bandage from his skin revealing their daughter's name in the same cursive writing as Abel and Thomas sketched into his skin.

"When?" Their eyes met and he smiled that Teller smirk.

"Today. Got the guys to distract the kids while Hap did them."

"Them?" Jax's smile grew as Tara continued a pathway to the right side of his neck, just below his jawline. He pulled the cover from his second tattoo done by Happy that day and Tara's breath hitched in her throat. Their eyes met and a breathtaking smile crossed Tara's face. One that Jax vowed to himself he would plaster on her face everyday.

"I don't know what-"

"Don't say anything babe. Now you know my body, heart and soul belong to you and only you. They have since the day I kissed you when we were fifteen." In Jax's mind, he knew that they'd gotten together at sixteen but he first kissed Tara when they were fifteen when he was dared to. Not that he gave a shit about the reason he kissed her in the first place but he loved that she was surprised by the gesture and still remembered how rosy red her cheeks went when he pulled away smirking that panty dropping smirk he now sees on his eldest son sporting around the lady's.

"About fucking time" Tara snapped trying her best to keep the tears at bay as she shoved him away angrily causing his back to hit the wall. That action soon turned into something more serious before Jax had Tara panting on her back from kissing the life out of her.

"I'm just sorry I never did it earlier" Jax rasped as he finally pulled back in need of oxygen. He held his weight as he hovered over her. Tara combed her fingers through Jax's long locks and flashed a smile at him. "But now, everyone will know who I belong to."

In the heat of the moment, Tara couldn't bring herself to release what had her so upset earlier. She pulled him back down needing to feel that connection again and it wasn't until she felt the cool air of the night that she realized he had completely stripped her naked and was grinding against her core.

"Baby" Tara purred in his ear as he suckled away at her exposed neck.

"Tara" the guttural moan seeping from the tip of his tongue was more than enough to tip Tara over the edge.

"I need you. Now" she begged while curving her hand around his hardened member. Tara parted her legs without hesitation and Jax pulled her hands back up and above her head.

It took all of his self control not to slip inside of his heaven on earth. His mouth moved with Tara's as their kiss continued. Tongues danced together and imaginations ran wild. When he finally pulled away, there was nothing but complete lust for the other. His hands trailed it's own purpose towards her center along with his hot wet mouth peppering kisses down her soft curvaceous torso. He tended to each nipple with care and delicacy, taking great pleasure in teasing her then absentmindedly trailed more hot wet kisses to the inner of her thighs.

"Jax, I need you" Tara moaned sweetly. Impatience hanging on the very tip of her tongue knowing what his intentions were from his position.

"Not yet babe. I need to taste you." Tara's breath hitched in her throat and it took every self control for her not to climax right then and there as Jax flicked his tongue over her wet folds. Nothing but soft pants filled the room as he devoured her sweet nectar. Tara combed her fingers through his locks while Jax held her writhing body down with the palm of his hands.

"I'm gonna-" her body shuddered before she could finish that sentence, igniting the fireball within her.

He came up seconds later hovering over her and licking his lips of her juices with a shit eating grin forming on his face. Tara bit her bottom lip and wiped away the excess of her juices from his beard and slammed their mouths together. He loved that she loved the taste of herself. She reached down for his member and attempted to flip them over to return the favor but his strength in keeping her pinned below him told her otherwise.

"I won't last babe" he growled low as he held his own hand around hers still around his achingly hard member and guided him towards the folds of her center. Their lips met once again before finally pulling away with a dead look of his lustful eyes. "You sure about this babe?" Jax asked while swallowing hard. "Once we cross this line I'm not taking it back." He smiled softly as he brushed her hair from the built up sweat on her face. "Which means you can't get rid of me." She could feel him grinding against her center and whimpered in delight.

"I'm sure Jax. Ten years without you was a long enough time to put distance between us."

All the reassurance needed, Jax slowly thrust into his wife, tightening his jaw as he finally felt her around him and pausing to salvage any remnants of what they had once before. This was everything he imagined and more as he stilled his movements inside of her. "So perfect babe" he rasped allowing his hands to roam her body.

"We have all night Jax" Tara whispered as she wrapped her arms around his neck and legs around his waist instinctively pulling him closer "so fuck me hard right now."

All it took was a few hard and long thrusts before he felt Tara contracting around his already pulsing cock causing him to come too soon for his liking.

"Shit, that's what ten years without sex would do to a man" Jax groaned as his now sweaty body molded to hers. He knew by now he would be crushing Tara but he could hardly move. His still pulsing member twitching inside of her made it that much harder to move.

"I'm sure that pretty boy face of yours got a little action on the inside baby" Tara joked causing Jax to raise up on his arms and glare down at her playfully.

"Nothing but my imagination of you running wild and my hand to deal with it babe" he grinned while attempting to kiss her but she dodged the kiss only to hug him to herself and holding him tight.

It wasn't until he heard her muffled sob in his ear that he rose on his forearms and noticed her hot wet tears running down her face and he felt an instant regret. As much as he didn't want to and with the death grip Tara had around his torso and waist, he pulled out and rolled off of her feeling like complete shit.

"I'm sorry" he rasped unsure if he was to blame or not. He slid out of bed feeling anything but the luckiest man on earth until he felt her hand on his own. He gave her a questioning look and she wiped her tears away sadly.

"I should apologize" she opened the covers back up for him and he took the hint. He resumed his spot beside her- still thoroughly confused- and watched as she pulled the covers to her chest. "That was the best feeling I've had in a very long time" although she wasn't looking at him, he could hear the truth in her voice. "But I'm scared Jax" she finally managed to say.

"Of me?" He croaked out.

She shook her head no. "This, what we just did, I don't regret that" Tara stated with a smile that warmed Jax's heart.

"Then what's wrong?"

With a sigh, she ran her fingers through her disheveled hair and smiled sadly. "I should've been honest with you before we has sex" Tara began.

"Just spill it babe. Your making me nervous" Jax stated. So she was having regrets?

"That call I got yesterday, it was a scheduled appointment for a very demanding patient who wouldn't take anything but the next available appointment I had for a good enough answer." It was then that she looked over her shoulder and preyed she wasn't making the biggest mistake in her life. "Do you know that Gemma's out?"

Of everything Tara could've slipped from her mouth he was not expecting that. He froze almost as if he didn't want those words to be true but he could tell by her confession that it most definitely was true. He was completely speechless.

"Jax? Say something" Tara called but Jax couldn't seem to hear a single thing she said. His mind was reeling in the fact that his mother was released from prison. He didn't understand. She was practically sentenced to life imprisonment. Parole simply wasn't up for questioning just yet and she would've only served what? Ten years of her life sentence?

"How the fuck is that possible? I thought she-"

"So did I. I have no idea how she got out" Tara was now crying. Thinking that maybe she was safe in Charming now, it only had her on the verge of a meltdown once again. The woman who'd tormented most of her nightmares over the past ten years was now making them a real life reality that she couldn't escape. All she could picture was the last time she'd seen Gemma; hovering over her like a wild lady. Bloodshot eyes and wrecking of alcohol. Screaming at her the most hateful shit that wouldn't even compare to the shit her father would scream at her when he was alive and before she left for college.

"I'm so fucking sorry babe" was all he seemed to utter. He was on the verge of tearing up himself. He tucked Tara into his arms and just held her.

"None of this shit would've happened if we just fucking left after I got out of Stockton the first time. She's my mother for fuck sake" that was when Tara pulled out of the embrace and stood to put distance between them "How could I not see this shit." Jax had constantly gone over where he went wrong while he was locked up but as days soon turned into months that soon turned into years, he knew he was kidding himself trying to relive in the past. There was nothing he could do to fucking change that and that's what bugged him the most.

Tara didn't know what she'd done until her hand clasped around her mouth in shock. "I'm sorry" she instantly apologized.

"You hit me" she'd only ever done that a handful of times and never under these circumstances it was. Tara took a few steps back as Jax advanced on her but a smile soon crossed Jax's face and she relaxed some.

"I didn't mean to. You were just- in shock I guess and I had to snap you out of it."

Jax nodded but it didn't stop his movement towards her and before soon he was towering over her. "I'm not gonna let her hurt my family. She won't ever hurt you again Tara" the determination in his voice reassured Tara that he would go to the end of the earth to keep her safe. "I'll be damned if she does." Jax cupped her face reassuring himself more than her and gently placed a kiss to her plump lips before pulling away. "We'll be okay."

"Don't do anything that will get you landed back in prison Jackson, I wouldn't be able to handle it if you did" Tara stated honestly. He could see a small sense of fear in her eyes that reminded him of the time in the park when she told him he was a monster and it sent a pang of guilt through his heart. And now that Tara had laid in bed with the only man who could ever really fill the void in her heart, she didn't think she would make it a second time if he left her. If he left their family.

He caressed her cheek then pulled her in for a reassuring kiss that had her losing all senses of living as he placed her back on the bed, this time to make slow, gentle and passionate love well into the next morning.

When Tara rolled over the next morning she felt his side of the bed cold and knew that even though Jax practically worshiped her body like a temple, he wasn't taking the news of his mother as well as he made out. It was nearing five in the morning so she slipped out of bed and almost gave way from the jell-o like feeling in her legs. She could feel a rash from Jax's beard between her thighs, and a small smirk crossed her face at the pain between her legs from their intense and heavy marathon of love making.

She found Jax in the backyard chain smoking with a beer sitting on the table in front of him. He was chilled back in a lawn chair just looking up to the early morning sky. He looked over his shoulder reflexively when he heard movement then spotted Tara and relaxed some.

"How long have you been out here?" She asked with two beers in hand.

"Not that long" was his simple reply.

The glow of the moon shone over Tara as they both looked out into the darkness. It was early mornings like these that Jax missed and salvaged every chance he got which was why when he took his family out to see the sun rising the previous day, he loved it so much he just had to see it again. He found himself smiling gently as her features brought out the best of her. The way she wore his shirt like she always did and the way she hugged herself with her feet tucked under her legs along with the hard look on her face that told him she was thinking too hard and he sighed deeply.

"Babe?" A moment later he'd caught her attention and she raised her brows. "Come here" he pulled his own seat out and gestured for her to sit in his lap.

"Your tattoo though."

"Your worried about my tat even though we made love throughout the night without a care in the world?" Jax asked causing Tara to redden in her cheeks. "They're both fine." She rolled her eyes then stood making her way into his lap where he tucked her in safely and wrapped his arms around her protectively.

Jax had every intention of taking Tara back to bed but he needed to reassure himself that nothing would ever happen to his wife again.

"What are you thinking so hard about Jax?" The way his body relaxed as if he wasn't already tense was something Tara noticed the second she sat down.

"I called Rosen's office and left a message. If she's smart enough she'll drop around first thing today. Wanna see if that restraining order is in effect. If it ain't then I want you to get another one" the clear tone in his voice told Tara not to argue. Not that she would but she simply nodded her head and took a pull of her beer.

"We can't start things up again based on lies or untold secrets" Tara informed.

"I haven't lied about anything babe-"

"I know. I just want you to know that unless you tell me the entire truth this time, we can make us work again."

"Seems like something's weighing on your shoulder's babe. Same goes both ways Tara. Times passed and so has our past but we can't do shit the way we were going last time. I need to know everything."

Tara nodded in agreement before taking a pull of her beer. Jax then took the bottle from her and took a pull himself before placing the bottle back on the table. "The reason why she showed up yesterday was-"

"Stop right there" Jax cut in and shifted knowing he was most likely going to get angry about this next topic. He stood should he need or want to pace the patio and allowed Tara to continue.

"She wanted to talk but I wouldn't allow it. I knew it was inappropriate of me to allow our talk in the waiting room in front of all my patients but I couldn't force myself to take it elsewhere. In the past she's been smart about how she approaches me by talking to me behind closed doors with no witnesses which is why I wouldn't stop it."

"That's a smart move Tara. She just better not have made you lose your job" Jax growled a lot angrier than he meant.

"I explained it to the administrator and I was given a warning considering she knows my background with your mother."

Jax nodded. "Then what happened?"

Tara inhaled a much needed breath before answering. "The cover story she gave the reception was that she needed to be seen by me for some stupid excuse but before I even picked up her file, I didn't read over the name and instead read the case." Tara wasn't sure if Jax would react but she spilt the beans. "If I read correctly, she has cancer." Jax was silent for the better part of a few minutes before inhaling deeply.

"Good. That's what karma will do to a manipulative selfish bitch who cares for nothing and no one but herself. I'm glad she's dying and I'm glad she's alone in this cold world."

Tara could tell that Jax spoke the truth. There was no remorse, sorrow or guilt wavering over her husband and for the first time in her life, she could finally tell that Jax saw shit how it truly was. Clearly. It also reassured Tara in the category of Gemma Morrow that Jax had no time for the elder woman. She was simply dead to their family.

"I love you Jax" Tara whispered causing Jax's breath to hitch. It was true. Tara didn't think she ever knew how to not love Jax. It wasn't even possible anymore. Jax never thought he'd hear those words so soon but after the heavy heart to hearts they'd had and their love making throughout the night, Jax clearly wasn't surprised.

Caught up in the moment, he wrapped his arms around Tara's frame and planted a heated kiss to her lips before drawing away much to her dismay.

"Marry me, babe?"

"We're already-"

"That doesn't count. Ten years apart. A shitty ceremony at a SAMCRO partnered brothel. I want to wipe the slate clean. A fresh start. Come on babe. What have you got to lose?"

Jax pulled away trying to bite the insides of his cheeks to keep from smiling as he knelt on one knee and revealed a black velvet box. He opened the contents and inside was a simple diamond cut eternity engagement ring. Tara's breath hitched in her throat and her hands flew to her mouth in complete shock.

What Tara hadn't known again was that Jax also had the guys distract his kids so he could personally seek out the right ring for his woman.

"I know I should've done shit a lot differently the first time around but there is no us if your not by my side. I wouldn't be here, with three beautiful kids if it weren't for you. Tara Grace Teller, do me the honor of re-marrying me? Or if you think of it that way, renewing our vowels to one another?"

"Yes. A thousand times yes" a smile broke out on Tara's face before Jax stood and hungrily kissed his wife.

Once again Tara had no idea how she ended up in bed but that was the charm of Jackson Teller. They'd made love once again before falling asleep in each other's arms in the early hours of the morning.

* * *

5PM previous day. Somewhere in Cali

"So what happens now?"

 _Now,_ Gemma thought. "Now, we use our most valuable asset to the best of our ability."

Gemma looked pointedly behind them with a somber look at the other person in the room and a hint of a warm smile crossed her face.

* * *

Cliff hanger. What exactly does Gemma have up her sleeve?

And that seems like the best place to end such a lovely chapter don't you think? Let me know your thoughts. A lot more sweetness is about to come before the storm so be prepared.


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer. I do not own anything.

I think this is by far the longest and most challenging chapter I've ever typed and created. I wanted so desperately to have it up by Sunday but I needed it to be perfect so I took a few days extra time to tweak everything and I think I nailed it.

Just a heads up, a few seasons episodes will be tackled throughout this chapter so bare in mind that they are definitely well defined with the situations so hopefully you guys catch on with what I'm trying to explain.

I hope you guys enjoy and thank you all for your kind reviews and words. They truly mean a lot to me. I should also state that I've been a bad person for not replying to your reviews with questions so from here on out, I'll try to at least answer all the questions asked.

* * *

When Jax rolled over that next morning, a loving grin crossed his face as he spotted his wife curled up against him with her back facing him on her side. Her hands were tucked together under her pillow.

Needing to feel her warm body against his own, he shuffled closer to her, snaking his hand under the sheets and wounding them around her waist before aligning himself against her warm body.

The last time he saw her face so restless from the outside world was one of the best nights of his life.

 _The night they'd created the princess of the family._

 _Or in other words, the last time he laid with Tara. Even under those circumstances, he still managed to bring such a strong woman out of his wife. It was just his shock to find out Tara was with child during one of their visits many months later. He couldn't believe he'd gotten Tara pregnant from that day but if anyone asked him, he secretly hoped that he'd get Tara pregnant from that time. He had always wanted a big family but given the circumstances yet again, he figured three would be enough._

He brushed strands of Tara's hair from her face while slowly brushing his stubble over her exposed shoulder blade.

"Wake up" Jax whispered into her ear while peppering soft kisses along her exposed skin.

"No, go back to sleep" she mumbled groggily as she pushed his bearded face away from her neck as he continued his gesture along her sensitive skin. She tried her damn best to stay asleep but just the touch of having was already sending a wave of pleasure through her body.

"Come on babe. I'll make it worth your while" he blew his breath against her shoulder blade softly and smirked when she shoved him back on his back and moved to hover over him in one swift move.

"Damnit Jax do you realize I'm so sensitive right now?" She asked, her voice telling him she was wide awake now and tying her damn best to bite the inside of her cheeks to keep from smiling as she held his arms above his head.

Without hard effort, Jax managed to slip his hands from above his head and push himself down so he had a face full of her cleavage while his hands trailed their own path over the curves of her hips, down her upper thighs then trailing back up towards her sensitive area. He groaned as he took one hard nipple into his mouth and sucked it softly.

With a soft pop from his mouth as he released her breast, he couldn't hide his smirk. "It's just your mind telling you that babe. Your pussy is telling me otherwise" she bit down on her bottom lip trying to muffle a moan as he slipped his index finger into her center before he caught her off guard by flipping her easily over.

However before Jax's intentions of fulfilling his morning fantasy could progress, he heard movements around the house and Tara chuckled.

"Saved by my sweet babies, thank goodness or I definitely wouldn't be able to walk." Jax gave her a hateful but playful glare knowing he had used whatever energy she had throughout the night to his full advantage.

"What's the time?" Tara asked giggling as he moved back to his side of the bed.

"Cock blocked by my teenage kids" Jax groaned causing Tara to chuckle as he reached out for his phone to check the time.

"Your lucky they weren't up during the night" Tara stated.

"Think I heard music playing at one point. No I definitely did which meant one of the boys were up."

"That's your fault Jax. If I die from embarrassment this morning it's all your fault."

"I'll take all the blame babe. I love when you moan and scream my name when you cum around my dick" he smirked proudly when he spotted a blush forming over Tara's face. "And it's still early. You got work today?" He asked while tangling their hands together and instantly feeling the cool touch of her engagement ring against his own skin- a smile crossing his face in the process.

"Karyn allowed me a personal day off so I'm free."

"Would it be so much to ask if the kids stay home? I wanna tell them the news" Jax grinned from ear to ear as he pulled their hands to his mouth and placed a kiss over her ring.

"I'd rather just stay in bed with you all day" she said raising her brow while trying her best not to smile causing Jax to raise his as he moved to hover over her once more.

"If that's the case then I want you to rest and I'll go get up with the kids." Giggling, they both moved together as he gave her a good morning kiss the Jax Teller way.

* * *

"Hey princess, whatcha doin?" Jax asked after finishing up a quick shower and changing. He scooped her up easily and pecked her cheek while glancing over the mess of sugar spilt on the counter along with some cheerios and milk mixed with some juice.

"Abel wouldn't help me with breakfast so I'm doing it."

"You know I'm trying to get ready Faith" Abel groaned as he came in and spotted the mess she'd made. "Now look what you've done. Morning dad" he stated with a sigh as he began cleaning his sister's mess up. Why she couldn't ever keep a clean environment around here was his guess but both he and Thomas would always clean up after their sister and do almost anything and everything for her. At least when he spotted the mess there were two full bowls of cheerios for himself and Thomas.

"Morning son-" Jax greeted with a smile.

"Thanks for making our breakfast princess" Abel stated as he pecked his sister on the cheek causing her to smile proudly.

"Let me clean that and you finish getting ready." Abel sighed in relief and took advantage of the statement before high tailing it out of the kitchen causing Jax to grin wickedly. Jax picked up the now empty cereal box and sighed. "I'll drop you guys off."

"Really daddy? Your gonna drop us off?" The hint of hope in her voice caused Jax to smile.

"Course sweetheart, finish up breakfast while I get ready."

Faith ate her breakfast in a rush from being too excited that her father was going to drop them off at school. "Tommy, daddy's dropping us off at school today isn't that cool?"

"I guess princess" Thomas shrugged causing Faith to frown.

"What's got you in a bad mood?" She asked as she stopped swinging her feet from beneath her.

"Sleepless night princess, eat up" he stated as Jax came back into the kitchen with Tara right behind him- a dreamy look on her face. "Does this mean mom and dad are back together?" He questioned looking from his sister to his father with a wicked grin.

"Just get ready Tommy" Jax smirked.

"Looks like you are" Thomas whispered under his breath as he pressed a kiss to Tara's cheek. "Morning mom, did dad satisfy you enough last night?"

Tara's eyes went wide and she blushed in full. "What?" She asked surprised.

"To even think you know of that shit son, I'd say you already know the answer" Jax answered as he pressed Tara against him and pressed a kiss to her cheek causing Faith to gasp in shock. Her spoon dropped into her bowl with a clank and she pushed herself off of her stool.

Tara gave him a knowing look as Faith came up to them at his statement to Thomas before Faith caught her attention.

"Does that mean your back together again?" Faith asked with lots of hope in her ten year old voice causing Tara to smile and nod at the same time. From Tara's point of view and the knowledge that her daughter slept like the dead, she was glad at least one of her three kids hadn't heard her and Jax making up. She also hoped that Abel who also slept dead to the world hadn't heard her and Jax but the simple look on his face as he walked back into the kitchen told Tara he had a shit sleep.

"It does baby" Tara stated.

"What'd I miss?" He asked in confusion.

"Now that we got you three here, we might as well tell you" Jax stated as he gave Tara a small shove of encouragement.

"What is it?" Faith asked, wrapping herself around her parents.

"I asked your mom to marry me and she said yes."

"Seriously?" Thomas asked in shock. "Your not kidding?" Something in the way he said his last statement told Jax that Thomas loved the idea which gave him the encouragement he needed.

"Not kidding buddy."

"But you and mom are already married. Wouldn't it be called remarry?" Abel asked with furrowed brows, although from his statement, Jax could tell he was thrilled about the idea too.

Jax and Tara both nodded in confirmation causing all three kids to break out into cheers and congratulatory hugs. They were definitely over the moon that their parents were working shit out.

As the morning festivities in the Teller household came to an end, the kids were rushed to school in record time for almost being late leaving Jax and Tara yet again naked in bed once the hit the staircase when they arrived back home.

Breathless and sweating profusely, hearts thumping out of rhythm and limbs tangled in sheets, Jax couldn't believe he was once again cuddling up with his only love. Tara rolling over caught his attention and he studied her as she curled into a fetal position with her back facing him, giving him the perfect view of his crow displayed on her back. He never got enough of it in the night and now that it was daylight, it was a magnificent sight to see.

Wanting to let her sleep in a little from the lack of sleep she had received the previous night, Jax slipped out of bed, took a decent shower for the second time today while letting the aroma of her scent fill his senses. Once he was finished and dressed for the day, he got his priorities in order, hoping to start with cooking a late breakfast then taking it up to Tara then making contact with Rosen's office. The hopes of taking breakfast up to Tara was short lived when he heard the shower turning off then the ringing of his phone caught his attention.

"Jax Teller speaking?" There were a limited amount of people who had his personal cell so he used formal words to address the caller.

"Jax, its Lucas Rosen. I'm surprised to receive your voicemail from last night actually."

"And I'm surprised your still living it up in little old Charming" Jax chuckled.

"Well what can I say? This small old town pays my bills" he chuckled. "It's been a while, what can I do for an old friend?" That they definitely were. Rosen and his law firm had gotten him and SAMCRO out of a lot of shit that he was more than thankful for.

"You free today? Need to ask you a few things that I prefer speaking face to face with you over" Jax informed.

"Of course. Name the time and place and I'll be there."

"One and my place" Jax informed Rosen of the address then hung up as Tara made herself known by slipping her arms around his waist from behind.

"Your place huh?" She asked while leaning her cheek against his back.

"Yeah, you gotta problem with that?" He asked as he spun around in her arms and wrapped his arms around her.

"Not at all" Tara smiled in awe before inhaling the delicious scent filling the kitchen and twisted her neck to gauge at the food on the table. "You made breakfast?"

"Figured it's the least I could do for keep you up so late."

"Well I have spent almost half my working life on night shifts or thirty-six hour rotations so I'm used to not getting any sleep" Tara supplied.

"Yeah but none as pleasurable as last night" he winked causing Tara to swat at his shoulder.

"Lets sit down and eat" Tara stated.

* * *

Once breakfast was over and Jax and Tara had cleaned his insanely huge bombshell of a mess, Tara found him chain smoking in the backyard. Even from standing behind him at a distance, she could tell something was weighing heavily on his mind. Maybe it was the fact that she'd told him about Gemma and her sickness or maybe it was some sort of insecurity he had on their newly established relationship. Either way Tara was going to find out so she pushed herself off of the French doors she was leaning against and made herself known when she sat down opposite him on the outdoor picnic table she had set up.

"Jax?" Tara approached him carefully knowing he was still slightly jumpy from being locked up for a decade. He offered her a soft smile and watched her take a seat. "To think ten years would've made you give up" she chuckled. Jax tried to see the humor in her joke but his thoughts kept his mind preoccupied and what should've been a smirk turned out to be a scoff. "What's wrong?" Tara asked on high alert.

"Babe…" His voice sounded defeated and her brows furrowed.

"This is about Gemma?" She wasn't sure if she asked a question or made a statement.

"Not in so many words but yeah."

"If your nervous about Rosen coming over then don't worry-"

"It's not that Tara." Jax stubbed out the butt of his cigarette and moved to the seat next to her. "I need to get this shit out and off of my chest."

"Okay?" She stated with furrowed brows. "What's going on?"

"I just need to know that once this conversation is through, nothing will change the present?"

"I already don't like where this is going" she answered honestly. The fear in his eyes caused fear in her own. "But I guess we could talk about whatever you want to say." Jax nodded slowly before he started.

"The shit that went down before your trial-" he began causing Tara to inhale sharply.

"That's not what I thought you would say Jax I don't want to talk about that. It's our past remember?"

"It is but I just need to say it out loud. Ten years away might've parted us but I still constantly thought about everything that lead up to then" Jax stated sadly causing Tara to sigh in defeat. "And I still think about it now."

"This is pointless Jax" she grimaced. By the look on his face, she could tell he really wanted to talk about this. "If you seriously want to talk about it then I guess it wouldn't hurt." Actually, she most definitely knew it would hurt both physically and emotionally. Everything that had happened leading up to his arrest hurt them both. She could see the angst and desperation in his eyes to approach the subject so she unwillingly allowed for her consent.

He began again with a hesitant breath. "You already know I took the most hardest bullet for you and I'd gladly do it over and over again" he began with a confident smile causing Tara to smile.

Tara highly doubted that but she dared not say it out loud so instead she replied with "and I can't thank you enough for that Jax but hopefully you won't ever be put in a position like that again."

"Yeah" he replied with a sigh. "I know we did reconcile after that talk at the park and after your attack but that was only physically and on some levels, emotionally too. We never really talked properly about what happened."

"Jax, please let's not-" She was already trying to throw this conversation out the window once again.

"Babe, I know the struggle, the turmoil your going through right now but we can't ignore it."

"I know" she sighed in defeated. "I guess I'll go first then." With a shaky breath, she did just that. "The fake miscarriage... Framing your mother... Wanting a divorce. I didn't even know I could do that. I didn't know I had that kind of strength in me and maybe you think I was being selfish but the need to protect my boys was what drove me into that" she inhaled sharply at that. "It was all too real for me to see that I _could_ do that. I saw myself. I was completely broken. My medical career was already over and I was being sentenced to prison. If I'd seen that when I moved back to Charming, I would've done things completely different."

"By 'doing things differently' what do you mean exactly?" He asked a little on the defensive side. Tara knew he took what she said the way she meant it and sighed sadly.

"Coming back here. Thinking our love- _our bond_ \- was stronger than anything. I guess it was something I tried re-incarnating. I loved you Jax and I never stopped." That was a relief to hear in Jax's current state. She could tell he was slightly stewing over what she'd just said and sighed again. "You wanted the truth and us restarting what we had back up needs to stem from a truth pool Jax. I'm just being honest."

"I guess I deserve that." He reached into his smoke pack and pulled another cigarette out, lit it and then inhaled the fumes before continuing. "Do you still love me?" He had no idea why he asked because she repeatedly whispered it into his ear throughout the previous night. "I mean- what I'm trying to say is you wanted a divorce. You pushed me away and all. Did that mean at one point you stopped loving me?"

"At the time, my main priority was trying to give my sons a better life. Somewhere, I tried to keep our love strong but you let me down far too many times for me to even give a shit at that point. That's why I faked a miscarriage even though it was one of the most embarrassing and shameful things I'd ever had to do." A tear slipped down her face reminiscing about her unforgivable sin but she was quick to wipe her tears away. "But I never ever fell out of love with you. I think it was more you were falling out of love with me." It was the brutal truth pill that she didn't want to swallow. The harsh memory that she tried so desperately to bury was slowly creeping to the forefront of her mind and she hated it.

"I never fell out of love with you Tara" Jax growled a lot more harsh than he meant and he was trying to prove it to Tara now. His jaw twitched tightly and he had a hard look on his face. "I just felt so disconnected from you."

Tara could rationalize. She knew had been pushing him away. She had to get her priorities in check. She needed to make sure someone was stable enough to look after her babies once she was sentenced- of course it didn't turn out that way but she still had to think smartly and think ahead which meant taking control of her life unlike how her husband's way of doing things turned out- leaving it for the last minute before finally manning up and taking control.

"Is there a point to this?" Tara asked softly although she knew what it was.

"Part of that shit that happened, it might've been my fault babe but you cut me deep. The fake miscarriage-" Tara inhaled deeply trying to divert her attention elsewhere but he moved to cup her face in his hands and he offered her a sad smile. "I didn't give a shit if you tried setting Gemma up but you faked a miscarriage and it hurt me more than anything we've ever done to each other. More than you even leaving me for college." He knew there was no way he could compare all his infidelity towards her fake miscarriage so he landed with a more safer bottom line.

Tara stayed silent as she tried to hold in her tears still feeling embarrassed. "I was just trying to protect my sons from-" she tried justifying herself and her voice cracked. Jax wiped her tears and pulled her into a hug. He could feel her pain from all those years ago and he could feel his own as he held Tara close to him.

"I know."

* * *

"Seeing as we're on a path of truth and forgiveness, it wasn't just the one time you cheated on me with her was it?" The look on Tara's face told Jax she was referring to the blonde madam and the silence on his part and the guilty look on his face told her as much and a tear slipped from her eyes once again. Her breath was shaky as she looked at him. He knew it was pretty gruesome for Tara even having the courage of mentioning it. The look on her face even told him she was just having a mental flashback of the time she caught him with Colette. "You know, even though it happened almost a decade ago now it still hurts to know you found solace some place else."

"Babe-"

"Did you love her?" She asked, cutting him off before he could say anything else.

"What? No. Why would you even ask that?"

"Cuz you went back twice. If not then more. So tell me... How many times was it?"

"It didn't mean anything babe. I swear." Tara could tell he was trying his best to not break down and it told her more than she needed to know.

"That's not what I fucking asked you Jax" she growled out angrily. "How many times?" She repeated.

"Twice overall."

"So while I- the mother of your kids was going through my trial for your club and might I add you didn't even give a fuck about helping me through it- you were having an emotional love affair with someone who was two times your age?"

"You were pushing me away Tara-"

"That's no fucking excuse. Did you once see me cheat when Abel was kidnapped? Did I try and hurt you when you were pushing me away? No" she answered her own question which drove a knife through his heart. "I didn't cheat on you with someone else and as much as it hurt, I would never, ever do that. Everything could've been avoided had you done your job as a husband and president." Defeat was evident on his face as he let out a harsh breath. "The only reason I was even up on charges was because of the promise you made me. Remember what it was Jax? Do you remember the promise you made me?"

"Babe-"

"No. I'm sick and tired of hearing that word. Just answer my fucking questions" Tara had never cursed as much as she had today and it made Jax realize just what pain he'd inflicted on her.

"That I was getting us out of Charming."

"That's right" she said through a deep audible breath of defeat. "You were going to get us out of Charming. But it never happened. Your excuse was that you couldn't let the club go down. That you needed to lead the club in the right direction. The RICO case that was stacked against you and also the Cartel that was being run by the CIA. You couldn't let your precious club go down for the fall while you took your family out of the shit." There was no point getting his say out there when Tara was this far gone. He was better off just listening and taking everything in.

"I did it in the end didn't I? You left Charming. You took the boys and my girl with you. You did everything you wanted. What are you so upset about?" Knowing instantly that he'd said the wrong thing, he couldn't take it back now. The look of hurt and fury mixed together was clearly visible in her eyes.

"I might've done everything Jax... Given them a safe and happy life but I was never fucking happy. I didn't want to do it alone. I wanted my husband there with me. I wanted my kids to grow up knowing their father. I wanted Faith to dance with her father at the father daughter dance. I wanted you to teach Abel and Thomas how to stick up for themselves and their sister. To protect her fiercely. But nothing ever seemed to go my way. Instead, I played mommy _and_ daddy. Faith didn't even go to her father daughter dance and cried herself to sleep. I taught Abel and Thomas to stick up for their sister. I did everything on my own." _Jax clearly remembers the times when Faith had her school dances and they went to visit him. She was always more clingy and the boys would explain why she was so down all the time._

Jax was blown away. But under the pride that swelled in his heart for her was also heartbreak. He hadn't seen it that way. Sure he'd seen her raising their kids alone but he'd never thought too much into detail the extent of the things she did for their family. The details would always break his heart. He knew Tara did everything on her own and he was regretting ever wanting to approach his fears now.

"I'm sorry" was all he could say.

"Yeah? Me too." Wiping her tears, she stood hoping that if they were continuing she needed something strong to pull them both through.

"Where are you going? I'm not finished."

"Yeah, neither am I but I need something to drink.

Tara was back with two glasses and a bottle of Jameson.

"That really necessary?"

"Probably not but I need a stiff drink right now." She poured herself a glass and offered to pour one for Jax who nodded his acceptance. Taking a sip, she hissed at the burning sensation from drinking it straight before placing her glass down on the table.

* * *

"Jax" she stated sternly. "I know how you work and operate. It was just like back when we were in high school and when Abel was kidnapped."

At the sudden turn of event's Jax was completely speechless.

"What do you mean 'just like back when we were in high school and when Abel was kidnapped?"

"Pushing me away Jax and cheating on me." His brow creased in confusion.

"How do those times compare to the last Tara?" She smiled sadly at him and reluctantly reached out to snag one of his cigarettes from his pack. She lit one, took a puff and let the nicotine take over her senses for a moment before releasing then took a sip of her whiskey and hissed once again.

"Whenever you pushed me away, you don't know what or how to feel about it and you find comfort in the nearest woman that would bear themselves to you. You did it when Donna died, you did it when Abel was kidnapped, you did it twice with the same woman- if not more- when I was arrested for that Otto bullshit and you did it before I left for college."

He had no idea the exact track record he held when it came to cheating on Tara but he didn't think she knew about the time with Wendy the night of Donna's death and what the hell was she talking about before she left for college?

"I can recall sleeping with Ima and the last time but that's about it Tara."

"You telling me that?" She asked hoping he would fess up to his ways without her having to say it but the look on his face yet again told her he wasn't about to.

"Let me break it down for you. The night that Donna died also happened to be the night you took Abel home from being released from St Thomas. We got into an argument coz you were so concerned for Wendy and how she felt about me being there and I took off. Later that night you got the call about Donna. Rode home most likely upset and sunk yourself into Wendy. She couldn't wait to tell me the very next day that in her twisted and sick mind that you'd spent the night with her and that you were willing to work things out. I of course knew she was kidding herself but hey, I didn't mean anything to you then" she chuckled coldly causing Jax to furrow his brows.

"You meant everything to me then Tara" he asked in frustration.

Ignoring his statement, she continued. "But I gave you a pass because you were technically cheating on her with me and we weren't even together."

"Didn't matter if I was still married or we weren't together Tara. I had you back the night I took Kohn out. It was the first time I could actually breath. That when we laid together, your face wasn't something I pictured on another woman. You were there in the flesh and it made me happy."

Tara smiled at the bright smile he had. It warmed her heart for a moment until she continued.

* * *

"You see, we continuously hurt each other though" Tara said.

Jax mentally thought about all the times he'd hurt Tara, it gave him a headache to think about the exact list. He could see where she was going with this too and it pained him to think that maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all time and again.

"Yeah" was all he said.

"You know, after Abel was kidnapped we didn't really get to talk about everything that happened between us either."

"That's so long ago Tara, can we not go there?"

"I think it would be good to get it off our chests seeing as we're already on the topic."

Now it was Jax's turn to grimace. Yeah he definitely was regretting bringing this up.

Since Jax wasn't going to talk first and because she led into this first, she decided to speak. "When Abel was kidnapped, the reason why I didn't stop Cameron was because I knew I was pregnant then. I had found out that day actually and it should've been the most happiest time of my life. I'd told Abel that he was going to be a big brother and I had how I was going to tell you all planned out." She smiled at the faint memory before explaining. "Even though I think we were on lock down at the time, I was going to go out and buy a cute little top that displays big brother in writing on it. I was gonna wait until we were alone and that maybe you would be able to feed him and see it but nothing went that way."

Jax cried a few tears of joy at the faint scenario she'd explained. "You did?" He asked in surprise. Tara nodded and he suddenly felt like complete shit. "You still could've told me."

"And see the look of hurt on your face? You blamed me for Abel being kidnapped remember" she pointed out plan and simple. "When I tried to tell you, something or someone would get in the way but even then you could barely look at me and you wouldn't even touch me. I knew what you were doing and I was trying to hang in there for the sake of my sons but then you said I wasn't your family. That Abel wasn't and it hurt more than you ever could've imagined and by then a week had passed and I felt no love in having a baby."

"Babe-" Her expression alone could inflict deep wounds into his flesh. He shoved his seat out from behind him, letting the chair knock back as he stood, her words cutting yet more wounds as he began a slow pace along the patio.

"You knew all I ever wanted was a family Jax, you knew that my mom died when I was nine, that my father practically died with her and that left me all alone in this world. I powered through alone until I reluctantly let you in after your begging and pissy territorial moments with other boys in school. Any chance of having a family of my own were shattered with a few simple words, my family was gone and then you dumped me high and dry. You added salt to the fresh wound by sleeping with that porn slut and had the decency to even talk to me when you could."

"You know, the sad thing about that was that I didn't want my own baby once I found you with that porn slut. The pain, hurt and regret was pulling me down. I just wanted to pack my things and leave Charming. You embarrassed and humiliated me, in front of people I considered friends- then once again the reminder was there- that you had dumped me."

"You didn't want him?" The hurt was evident in his voice as he looked deep into Tara's eyes with unshed tears. "And- and you were gonna leave me?" He stuttered out. "Leave us?" His wounds were starting to open now and he couldn't handle it.

"Yeah, I didn't want him but you couldn't of blamed me. The man who supposedly loved me left me completely alone."

Jax glared down at Tara and saw how broken she was over something that had happened just over thirteen years ago. He figures _now_ that they should have spoken about this _back then_. But now, he knew if they had spoken about it after he saved her from Salazar then he would've lost her completely. But she had been carrying nothing but pain over the shit he caused her and once again, he put his own feelings before her own. The shit he made her feel. His mind went back to him hurting Tara all over again and the reasons behind her feelings were based on what he put her through. He was even surprised that she could remember so far back in time which told him she had either often thought about the what if's and things that could've happened differently in their lives.

He had no idea Tara wanted to abort their son who was now thirteen. He had no idea Tara wanted to leave Charming again but he knew if she did, he would've been on a goose chase just to find her in what little time frame he had. He would've begged and pleaded until his very last breath for Tara to take him back. He was pulled from his thoughts when he heard her soft voice speak once again.

"You know, I wanted to hate you so much for pushing me away... For putting me through so much heart break... For saying the most hurtful words anyone could ever say to their partners but my love for you ran deep and I guess that's why I forced myself to stay." She inhaled deeply, allowing silence to absorb the space between them. "It's why Abel knew who his brother was. Because if it wasn't for my son Abel, I wouldn't be sitting here right now. We wouldn't have two beautiful kids already and maybe I'd have married someone else, given them kids and be living the happy life."

As much as it pained him to hear it, it was nothing but the truth that he understood.

"Gemma told me you were pregnant" he whispered as he began pulling at the loose seams of his shirt in frustration.

"I figured that a long time ago Jax" Tara rasped softly. "But I'm glad she did. It made you see sense when you needed the kicking up your backside. Made you realize what the bigger picture was."

He stopped his pacing and sighed in anguish. "What she should've done was told me long before I made the mistake of pushing you away. Before all this hurt and grief clouded both of us. I didn't even know you felt this way. I know I tried justifying my sorrow for you back then but it will never be enough. We just swept it under the carpet and didn't really approach what happened before I got sentenced. I won't ever have enough words to say I'm sorry for the shit I caused you. The pain. And you wanting to terminate your pregnancy and leave Charming, I can't say I'm angry about it cuz I am but the position I put you in, I would've thought the same if I were in your shoes" he smiled sadly and sat back down in his seat. "But there's no need to go over that shit. We have a son. He's alive, living and putting us through hell even though I've only just come back but he's here."

They both took a few moments to drink a few sips of their whiskey before Jax spoke through a sigh "why did we avoid this talk back then?"

"I think it was easier for you to forget what happened but I never did. The insecurities were always there. Then your time in Stockton I guess just kinda got lost on where my head was at and the hormones of being pregnant."

* * *

"Did you ever wonder why I left Charming without saying goodbye before I left for college?"

"I'm still trying to figure that out to this day."

"We got into a huge argument. There was a party at the clubhouse and you wanted me to go but I wasn't feeling up to it and you stormed out. It was around the time you knew I was pulling away and you couldn't handle that I wanted out of Charming. Anyway, you got piss drunk at the clubhouse and I came searching for you the next morning only to find that you'd fucked some slut that night."

"Wait what?" He asked in shock having no idea that of all things to say, that had to be it. But even still, he had no idea what she was talking about and frowned upon seeing a tear slip down her soft porcelain skin. He reached out to wipe Tara's fallen tear and then held her hands in his with a firm grip on the hopes that she wouldn't pull away.

"You could feel I was pulling away from you and that's why we would always argue, you would leave angry then come back hours later and we'd make up but I knew you always came home to me. However, the day I caught you with another woman was the day I left Charming" Tara whispered causing Jax's shock to grow. He did always wonder why she just up and left, now that explained it some. "Gemma told me that you were in bed so I made my way through the mess of the clubhouse hoping and preying that the look she had given me wouldn't confirm what my heart was telling me."

Jax released her hands in anger. "She never fucking told me that" he snapped. It was just another thing on his _hate Gemma list_ that he could add. "I hate that fucking bitch with a passion. Almost twenty years later and I find out the reason why you left me. Did she also tell you that she and the guys were forcing alcohol down my throat? That I begged like a fucking pussy to come home and make up with you? That she also used Clay to have some skank push up on me. Fucking gash" he snapped, his chair flinging back a second time as he stood in anger and began pacing the back patio like a madman. "She knew… she fucking knew" Jax protested, hands wavering in front of him in frustration.

"I knew it was her grand evil plan Jax."

"You think that's why I'm half angry?" Tara nodded. "I'm angry cause I let our argument that night and Gemma and Clay get to me. I should've turned back around and rode straight back to your house. Had you not seen me with another bitch you would've stayed in Charming. Had you not seen me, we could've had a fucking family and been married years before but then that makes me fucking selfish coz you wouldn't of accomplished what you have now and you would've more than likely turned out like Gemma and that scares me more now to fucking think about it."

Finally giving up the fight and succumbing to his feelings, Jax dropped down on the grass at his knees and sobbed.

"I can't say that Gemma is to blame for all your promiscuous ways but she did have power over you. She knew you were sleeping with that blonde madam. She knew Wendy was still head over heels for you and she knew that you couldn't give into temptation. No matter who the skank was, it was in your blood. You were wired that way and she used your most weakest spot to her advantage."

"You were my weak spot Tara" he stated. "You are my weak spot" he corrected.

"That's what I'm saying Jax. She used your love for me to her advantage. Shit was turning south after I was arrested and there was no coming back from it. You had become president and I took over her role as Queen of SAMCRO. She hated it. I was able to control you and what happened with my boys and that's when she totally went off the rails. And still, to this day I believe it was her who ratted me out to the cops."

"It 's making sense to me now." Jax knew those were the very last of the puzzle pieces he needed to complete the set.

"You see what the moral of the story is now Jax?"

"Never hard to figure that out babe. I've been more in denial about where they start than anything. I know Gemma hated us together but going as far as attempting to kill you? That's fucking psychotic on its own."

"This talk was long overdue babe" he rasped hoping to at least get over this hurdle in their discussion.

"Yeah, it is." She sighed while wiping her teary face and smiled sadly. "I don't know why I fucking take you back and maybe you will never change but the next time you ever fucking cheat on me again Jax, I will not only divorce your ass before you can blink, but I will also make damn sure I take our kids and leave you high and dry. I'll also add salt to wound and hurt you the way you did me. I've managed to unsuccessfully move on without you but there is something called hook ups and over the past ten years, for once, it felt nice to not be with someone and have attached feelings. I understand why you love pussy as much as I love dick. Understand me?"

As much as Jax hated the thought of someone else being with his wife, sharing something so intimidate as what he feels constantly, he understood the intentions of her statement.

"Every time you saw one of my mistakes always kills something inside me. You have been there for our sons and daughter more than I can say I have. You deserved every beating heart that loves you babe. Our kids. Love you unconditionally. And even though I know deep down I'm not worthy of your love, you have my heart. Always have and I promise I won't ever cheat on you again."

"Good" she stated playfully. "Now let's seal the fears of agreement with a kiss, get the hell up and cleaned up before Rosen gets here and never speak of this hurtful conversation again. Understand?"

Jax pulled Tara up and held her hips with a nod and smiling softly. "Yeah babe."

* * *

AN. I know things must sound slightly repetitive but they are necessary as they keep revolving back around the same subject.

As for the length of the story, I'd originally had an added extra 3,000+ words to it but then I thought I was simply dragging it out and the main moral of this chapter was to allow them to talk through their most fears which was pushing each other away. You will see the added extra 3,000+ words in the next chapter however.

I already have the next chapter ready and waiting, I just have to edit it before posting.

And lastly, please if your enjoying the story, I want to ask your opinions on what you think about me incorporating Abel into this story as I have a few solid idea's already. They'll pop up in the next chapter just to give you all a basic idea and I have kinda started it already when the family were having dinner at the diner and a certain waitress had eyes on him but because this is Jax and Tara based story, I'm not quite sure on your guys view of things.

Is it a go or no go? I just don't want to start another story with this version of Abel and confuse myself with timelines adding up and what not and also that I won't have long enough chapters or a lengthy story to have an effective flow so I think it would be better just writing about him in Faith and Despondency.

And plus, his parents have major effects of what I want to happen with Abel- in a good way that is- so it kinda makes sense.

So in a kind way, reviews ara kinda mandatory unless you wouldn't mind reading about Abel. XOX


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer. I own nothing but this and my other stories.

Shit is about to get real so buckle up for a rocky road ahead. Oh and I decided not to use Abel in this story for now. He will come in time.

* * *

"We're good now, right?" Jax asked a little quiet for his own liking. He could tell that when Tara nuzzled her head further into the crook of his neck and inhaled a relaxing deep breath of relief that she agreed.

"Yeah Jax. We're good. Just as long as we're always honest with each other."

"You got it babe-" He let out a breath he didn't even realize he was holding. Somehow, part of him thought that if they didn't get through their previous conversation that she wouldn't allow him back in. That when they spoke, she would shut him out and kick him out. Needing to reassure himself that she was in his arms and sitting on his lap, he pulled her as close to himself as he possibly could and kissed her crown. "I love you Tara."

Their intimate moment was cut off when a knock sounded at the front door. Jax ran his hands warmly up Tara's thighs for her to move then checked to see who was at the door.

"You gotta be shittin me" Jax croaked out as he peered outside the front window with a clear view of the front yard.

"What?" Tara questioned curiously. She pulled herself from the couch and crossed the room to see an expensive luxurious black Mercedes Benz. She let out a low whistle while gauging the picture perfect car.

"I'm gonna go ahead and assume you don't know anyone with a Mercedes then" Jax stated, he was already in the process of answering the door when a second knock sounded.

"I have few colleagues with Mercedes but I doubt they'd visit me" Tara stated honestly. "It's one so it's most likely Rosen."

"That explains it" Jax chuckled and pulled open the door to reveal the clubs lawyer. "Well if it ain't the great Lucas Rosen" Jax stated before he broke out into a wicked grin.

"Jackson Teller. Always a pleasure" he remarked as he pulled his hand out in greeting that Jax met. "It's good to see you again."

"Same here. You remember my wife Tara-"

"Yes. Mrs Teller. A pleasure."

"Come in Lucas."

"Nice ride you got there."

"Well, I try my best to keep up with the go but it works. If I had my way I'd be riding anything but that. I prefer SUV's to cars."

"No arguments there."

Tara settled them in the dining room and went about making her guest a little more at home by offering a beverage of some sort and a few collection of sweets while Jax and Rosen caught up a little on their past.

Getting down to business however when Tara sat down, they began.

"So what can I do for you both?" Rosen asked. He'd just finished placing his mug of coffee down on the table and smiled politely across from Jax and Tara.

"I got a rather disturbing visit from a certain someone at work yesterday" Tara began.

"Continue" Rosen stated with a nod.

"You didn't have control of Gemma's case when she was up against her sentencing for attempted murder now did you?" Tara asked needing confirmation.

"Correct, she was handled by another law firm I think. Where is this going?"

"Gemma was sentenced to life imprisonment. No chance of parole if she even made it to the deadline but she's out" Tara confessed causing Rosen's brows to furrow.

"That doesn't make any sense."

"That's what I thought. She was at St Thomas for some check up. Apparently she must think I'm an oncologist because she needed treatment for cancer."

"That might do it then" Rosen stated with a sigh. "It is known as compassionate release, but even then she'd have to be determined for terminal illness before going through standard procedures which could take from six months and counting before she is approved."

"So your saying she's been sick for this long?" Jax asked, shocking Tara in the least with his question.

"Possibly. I'll do some digging. Try to find out if she has another motive."

"Shit" Jax glanced to Tara for a moment. The dreaded look in her eyes told Jax she felt no way compassionate about their current thorn in their ass.

"If she's out on compassionate release, there's a high chance she isn't on parole then. Am I right?" Jax asked. Of course he was. He knew he was and Rosen was confirming with a nod.

"You are."

"If I know Gemma like I do, I'd say she would try and dig her claws into this town once again. She wouldn't give two shits about anything now that she's dying and would most likely try to sought Tara out."

"Which means?"

"I need a restraining order against her for not only my kids and Tara but also myself."

"I'll get only that. Is there anything else either of you request?"

"For now, no but we'll keep in contact?" Jax stated as he inhaled a much needed breath. He stood up with Rosen and Tara and shook Rosen's hand with a thank you nod and sat back down as Tara showed him the way out.

He was contemplating what to do. Not knowing how to do it in the first place but his mind was conflicted. He needed to do something to keep his mind from thinking too hard. That's when he laid eyes on the most perfect thing leaning against the entrance of the dining room with a curious look in her eyes.

"That accessory on your neck truly does stand out" Tara chuckled to herself as she closed the distance between them.

"I'm glad you like it." He stood and met Tara halfway, slamming their mouths together as he picked her up and sat her down on the large mahogany table. He was quick to part her legs and pulled her closer to the edge, allowing that move for her to feel how hard he was through his pants.

"Jax-" Tara whispered hoarsely as she pulled away reluctantly.

"Don't say anything babe. Just feel-" his hands slipped through the hem of her jeans and into her panties causing her to gasp at the sweet sensation he was pleasing her with.

Any coherent thought she was just thinking about went out the window when he laid her back and devoured her body with his own.

* * *

"You know, a quicky would've sufficed" Tara said coming down from her high. She attempted to sit up from the table but Jax held her to him.

"It would've but then it wouldn't of fulfilled my fantasy of fucking you senseless on the dining room table and dragging that shit out."

"Oh really? And how many other fantasies do you have of me exactly?"

"A too long a list babe but the next will definitely be on the couch in the lounge" he smirked. He was already in the process of pulling her up to his will now and attacked her mouth again.

"Fine but a quicky it is, we have to pick the kids up soon." She could feel him teasing her entrance as she wrapped her arms and legs around him. A smirk ever present on his face.

* * *

Chibs was the first to spot the black luxurious Mercedes benz that pulled into the lot and instantly recognized the owner of the vehicle. His eyes went wide as he dropped his beer, causing the contents to shatter at his feet.

Bobby was the next to spot the Mercedes before the whole club had it's attention and they all gasped in shock.

"This is not fucking good."

"You know, we only deal business at your office. What are you doing here?"

* * *

"You know even though I hate her, she's still your mother Jax and she's dying." Tara whispered as she gazed out the passenger window. They were headed to pick their babies up now before heading over to the clubhouse.

"You've changed your tune. Are you dying yourself now?" He asked jokingly but it fell at the tip of his tongue when he studied Tara for a moment. He turned the corner and continued driving.

"No Jax but I-"

"But you are just too nice for your own good Tara" Jax said cutting into what she wanted to say. "There is no way I would forgive Gemma for the shit that she's done. Even if she's dying. I told you before and I'll tell you again. My mother died the day my father did. There's just too much history buried deep in there that I can't not un-hate her. Understand what I'm trying to say?" He asked even though he knew he kinda didn't make sense.

Tara could somehow tell that Jax meant a lot more than he was saying but he ignored her looks and continued on driving until they got the kids. The ride to the clubhouse was a lot slow than Tara had anticipated. Faith's forever talkative self kept her brother's occupied enough that they couldn't pick up on the tension between their parents.

Faith's cheering brought Tara back to reality as she spotted the Teller automotive sign approaching. Jax reached for her hand and ran the pad of his thumb over her knuckles lightly.

"I love you" he mouthed with a dreamy smile that always caught Tara's heart.

She smiled back and this time moved in on him, placing a kiss to his cheek before Jax turned into the lot.

What they didn't know though was that their life was just about to change.

AN. I know it's completely short but it needs to be cut from there. Who do you think dropped in unannounced at the clubhouse? Was it Rosen or could it have been someone else?

You know what to do. I can't wait for the next chapter. Maybe, if I'm feeling cheery I will update again tonight or tomorrow.


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer. I don't anything but this and my other stories.

I'm so happy on the reviews of the last chapter, thank you all for reading, reviewing and following and everything else. On with the story.

As I stated in the last chapter, here is another update.

* * *

The guys all took in her stance and couldn't help but narrow their eyes on her. She wore a tight ass strapless dark blue dress that stopped at her knees. Her legs went on for days with the bitch heels she wore to complete her look. Hair was perfect as always and her breasts were just screaming for attention. She was definitely trying to catch the attention of these guys and she was definitely receiving it but given the heat she was about to bring on herself, she highly doubted that she'd end up in one of these men's beds.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Happy growled out, stopping miss 'I'm just that' in her tracks towards his brother's who were closing in instead.

"Oh calm down grumpy. I heard a certain felon was out and I just wanted to come say hello." She swatted her hair over her shoulder and fanned her hand in front of her face from the hot heat of the Californian sun shining down on them.

"How the hell do you know that?" Tig snapped.

"Heard it through the grapevine I guess" she answered smugly, trying her damn best to not let up on her intel source.

"Your lying bitch. Who the fuck told you Jax was out and that you could come around here?" He pushed causing the woman to sigh deeply.

"If you really want to know my intentions of being here then shut the hell up and let me explain" she tried to glide the heat in another direction.

There were very few woman the guys would let talk to them the way this broad was but she was soon losing their respect as businessmen. As men, they'd already lost respect for her purely based on her occupancy.

They watched as the clubs business partner cat walked across the lot to her cage with sway of her hips.

"Bitch is hiding something" Happy growled low. He along with all his SAMCRO brothers were watching as she opened the back door of her cage and helped someone out.

"You've gotta be fucking shitting me" came from Tig as he zeroed in on the kid who looked to be around twelve.

"No fucking way" Chibs chimed out as they all gawked at the kid.

What anyone failed to notice was that the SUV belonging to Tara had pulled in and that Tara had jumped out before Jax could even shift into park.

"What the fuck do you think your doing gash?" Quinn stepped up with the intention of frightening Colette and the kid standing beside her.

"Look, I know this is really bad timing and with Jax being out and everything, he deserves to know" Colette spoke with dread. Her eyes moved from one Son to another before they finally landed on Bobby. "Bobby please-"

"Get out of here before I drag you and that bastard child out" Happy growled deadly. He never ever liked this bitch. She was just as manipulative as Gemma was. She used her 'charm' on men to get what she wanted but he was angry at himself that he dipped into her loose pussy. He never looked back after that experience.

Like Happy and Jax, most of the men in the club had too experienced what she had to offer and it wasn't anything nice. She was too old to be tight and too loud to contain. The only good thing that came from her was that they barely managed to get off on her.

With a roll of her eyes, Colette smiled and ran her perfectly manicured fingernails through the child's blonde shoulder length hair. "Your all just blowing this shit way out of proportion and if Jax said that to me back then, then I wouldn't be here now introducing you all to his son." She heard a few gasps but she continued with a bright smile as if she was the queen of delivering good news. "Guys, I'd like for you to meet mine and Jax's son Luke. Luke, these are the guys I was talking about" Colette informed her son who was gawking back at them.

"What I fail to notice is how you could've kept this a secret. My guys dealt with you personally and almost three times a week for the past ten years. Why are you only bringing this up now?"

"I said it already. My son deserves to know who his family is." Colette furrowed her brows in confusion when Bobby peered over her shoulder. She followed his line of sight and her eyes grew wide. It took her a moment to realize what was happening and she turned back to Bobby who was now invading her personal space.

"You are going to leave this compound and never bother my family again. You got that whore?" Bobby seethed menacingly down at her. His eyes held nothing but anger as he glared this bitch down but she didn't back down. She needed this to pull through on the plan and she spun around facing the woman who'd attacked her years ago.

Deciding to act dumb, Colette plastered a fake smile on her face. "Hey, I know you from somewhere?"

"Can't say we've crossed paths before. I'm Dr Tara Teller" Tara greeted quite strongly. She was glad her husband was still parking considering shit would turn side ways a lot sooner than Tara was anticipating. Tara offered her the same fake smile and held her hand out.

"Colette Jane. I'm sure we've met before" Colette pressed. She held her hand out and shook Tara's hand before releasing.

"Cute kid. Who does he belong to?" Tara asked genuinely. She looked over the boys features. He had shoulder length blonde hair. He had blue eyes and looked to be around her daughter's age.

"Oh, where are my manners, this is my son, Luke Teller. Actually, if I stand corrected, your _the Tara Teller_. As in Jax's Teller's old lady. Jax is my sons father" Colette informed, trying her damn best to hide her smirk.

Tara fucking knew it. She stood in complete shock. She glared from the blonde gash that obviously remembered her to the kid standing at her side then back again. She could feel the body heat from who could only be assumed as Jax and heard his sharp intake of breath.

"Jax, we were just telling this gash to leave-" Bobby stated as he nodded for Happy to haul the bitches ass out of their compound but she shrugged him off and smiled in relief.

"Jax, your out. I'm so happy. I'd like for you to meet your son, Luke. Baby say hi to daddy" Colette cheered in excitement as she ruffled his shoulder length blonde hair. "He's our son Jax. The dates all add up, we conceived him that night" Colette pressed as she gave Jax a surprised hug. She ignored the three kids that trailed behind him and looked back up at Jax. "But I didn't know you kept the wife around. I'm so sorry to spill this unexpectedly" Colette apologized.

"Your so full of shit bitch. Get your ass out of my clubhouse and never come back. I want a fucking paternity test but I damn well know this bastard child is no kid of my husbands" Tara said, shocking all the guys in the least. Her three babies came to stand behind her in fear that something would happen to their mom but Quinn worked fast to make sure they witnessed nothing.

"Listen Colette, we may do business together but Charming ain't the place for it. None of us are as dumb as you think and although Jax may have tapped you on the odd occasion and a few of us, you need to get through your thick fucking skull that we don't want you around and neither would Jax. He's trying to work shit out with his old lady and you coming around would only fuck shit up for him" Bobby stated hoping to end whatever agenda she had there at the sight of the kid before them.

Colette scoffed as she spoke to her son before he ran off back towards the car. "This isn't your clubhouse bitch and if I remember correctly, you and Jax were done for honey so why don't you just-"

Jax stepped in front of Colette, blocking her sights on his wife and glared her down and instinctively cut her off. "You should shut your mouth whore" he pointed down at her like the little gash she was. "Your nothing if not worthless. I bet for a fact that you've slept with half my brother's."

"None as good as you baby" Colette even tried to run her hand up his arm but he shrugged it off.

"Don't fucking touch me. You've got ten seconds to run before I come hunting you down. Whatever my wife requests, you hand it willingly. Got that bitch?" Swallowing the fear in her throat, Colette could only nod. She took a few steps back and glared at Tara.

"I'll prove this kid is his and by the end of it, you'll be packing your shit and hitting the road." Colette held Tara's eyes for a brief moment before smirking and turning on her heels.

Tara could literally feel her heart drop to her stomach. She forced Jax to release her hand as she took a few calculating steps back in order to calm her fury.

"Babe-" Jax spoke softly, as if anything he'd say could break her. He hoped she would stay by his side but he could see she was shutting herself down on him and fast too.

"Don't-" she whispered as she met his baby blue eyes that held nothing but sorrow in them.

Only an idiot would turn their back on their enemy and Colette did just that. She was barely a few feet away from her car when Tara lunged for her. Colette yelped in surprise when Tara got a fist full of the gashes hair and pulled her back forcefully. She yanked the woman's hair once more before throwing her face first onto the concrete pavement with the added bonus that the shoes she wore helped her trip in the process. From there Tara threw her leg over the gash, straddling her as she slammed her closed fists into Colette's face, smiling smugly at the crack she heard from her nose. Blow after blow, Tara let out her anger on this broad, never stopping even when she heard the guys and Jax trying to get her to stop cause it only fueled her aggression as she took it out on this woman.

"You fucking bitch. You will never know how to love. Your a used up cum bag with nothing but a saggy pussy to offer boring lonely old men." Tara finally stopped as tears were now cascading down her face. She looked one last time down at the woman holding her bloody nose and kicked her in the ribs.

"You wanted this to happen whore? You wanted him back then? You can have him now." Now looking to Jax, she let her tears drop. The strong old lady had flown out the window and now hurt Tara was present. "This is the last time your hurting me Jax. I'm done with this shit" she cried. Without looking back, Tara bolted it straight to her SUV, igniting it to life and stepped on the gas as she peeled out of the clubhouse while ignoring Jax's protests to stop her.

She didn't dare look back knowing she'd spotted her kids in the rear view and more tears fell. She couldn't believe she was leaving them behind but they were better off in the care of the guys than her own. She knew without a doubt that they'd watch her babies but it was Jax who kept her from returning to pick them up.

When she made it home, she headed straight for her room and packed whatever shit she could fit in her bag. Gathering a few of her kids things to remember them by, she hoped whatever path of destruction she went on, she would soon be returning back to her babies.

* * *

Back at the clubhouse, Jax stood from his slumped position on the ground and stalked towards Colette with determination. There wasn't much time for him to throw his weight around but he didn't give a shit so he pulled her up roughly by her hair and pointed in her face.

"This kid ain't mine bitch. You've just cost me my entire family so I'm gonna make damn sure you know exactly what you're about to loose. Your cum factory, is mine. Any valuable piece of shit you own. MINE. To prove to my fucking wife that this is all some sick fucking joke in your head, I'm getting that paternity test and it will come from your fucking pockets. Ain't a dime in my accounts gonna pay for shit your saying. Got that?" He seethed as he glared down at her, hand wrapped around her neck with the intentions of strangling her if she didn't co-operate and a pointed finger barely inches from her face.

"Jackson-" she tried to protest as best as her voice would allow but the grip on her throat stopped her. It was the moment when he backhanded her that he feared just what he could do to a woman. He did it once before with Ima, and even with Wendy when they crossed the line in his relationship with Tara. Colette was gonna learn the hard way too.

"Only my wife calls me that and you ain't her. Oh and if I didn't make it clear enough, I don't trust you to do something against my orders. Someone will be there watching when you get the test done and I want two copies just so you don't get any great idea's to forge anything and if it turns out your right, your gonna regret the day you and he were both born."

Colette wasn't one to take threats lightly but in this instant, she could tell he was more than dead serious about keeping his word. He would no doubt end her life either way.

"Daddy?" That voice instantly broke his anger on Colette and he stood with one last scowl before turning back to his kids. He managed to stride across the lot in a total of three steps before he scooped his daughter up and held her with all his might. "Daddy what's going on?" She cried into the crook of his neck, squeezing tight as she did so.

"Just daddy's past coming around and beating his ass baby girl." Jax could see his sons were furious which meant they'd either heard what was going on or they were just as confused as he was.

"Where's mom?" Abel asked. He hadn't seemed to take his eyes from the parking lot, hoping that if he looked long enough, his worst nightmare wouldn't occur.

"Let's go inside boys" he gestured for Abel and Thomas to follow but Abel stood rooted to his place.

"That doesn't answer my question dad, where is mom?" He repeated finally looking up to meet the same colored eyes as his own.

"She'll be back boys. Let's go inside."

The angel on his right shoulder was yelling at him to run after Tara. That he would only get one last chance of this and that was what he feared the most. That she would run and never look twice his way again but the devil on his left shoulder was telling him to forget about her. That she was already a loss cause.

Jax was fighting his inner self to run after Tara like he wanted. That she would run and so he did just that.

"I won't be long" he spoke to his kids while scouting Bobby out around the clubhouse. "Bobby, I need the keys to the tow truck." Once he had them, he was gunning for the tow and high tailing it out of the compound, glad to see the gash was now gone. When he skidding to a halt outside of the house, Tara was just locking up. He could literally hear himself swallow as he got out and stopped Tara.

"Babe? Where are you going?" He called out trying to block her intentions of heading for her SUV. He managed to stop her by latching onto her wrist that she pulled from his reach.

"Don't you dare fucking touch me." Arms up in defense as if he'd just been burnt, he knew this Tara. He'd seen her a few times and he didn't ever like the outcome of it.

"I thought we were good Tara" Jax choked out with unshed tears in his eyes.

She scoffed and turned on him. "We were good. I handled that situation well until she kept rubbing that shit in my face Jax. Now all I feel is betrayal all over again. I don't give a shit how long ago it was but you managed to wrap it with Wendy and Ima-"

"I used protection with her too Tara" Jax growled out. "She's completely full of shit. I'll prove that to you. Just don't run."

"I need space Jax and it's pretty obvious we rushed into this fast."

"What are you saying babe?" Jax was literally weak at the knees now. He was begging Tara with his eyes not to say it but she did.

"I need time." Taking a few steps from him, she smiled sadly. "You know, I was pregnant with an ex's kid but I didn't want it. I didn't want to have kids by another man that wasn't you Jax. It hurts me now that not only Abel isn't my biological son but also this child. It hurts me that you actually got another woman pregnant while we were married."

He dropped to his knees at that statement. He had no idea she was ever pregnant by another man and it burned some kind of anger in him. The harsh reality of her words sunk deeper when she said Abel wasn't her biological son but to him, Abel was and would always be her son. They both knew that.

"I didn't do it purposely but I know for a fact that that kid ain't mine babe" Jax sobbed out.

Tara inhaled sharply and turned her head up. "Watch my babies for me Jax. Your a father before your a husband and a man behind the kutte. Spend some time with them and I will call to check up occasionally but don't come looking for me."

"I'm trying babe. Really I am" he pleaded with her to understand. That this situation blindsided him. There was no way he intentionally ruined their announcement for some gash. "But I think I've hurt you too much for you to simply allow me back into your heart."

"What are you saying?" Tara asked in shock. She came around to stand before him then fell to her knees, taking his face in her hands.

"I'm saying one of us needs to be the stronger one here and I'm hoping it will be you. Leave before I hurt you more babe" he whispered. It shocked her that the more he spoke, the more he was closing in on her physically and the more he was shutting his heart out for her emotionally. They were forehead to forehead, breathing was ecstatic that they couldn't form words to express how much pain they were in.

"You don't get to guilt trip me Jax. I'm the only one hurt in this situation" Tara growled out. "You slept with her remember and everyone knows the fucking consequences when you sleep with someone. Unwanted pregnancies are always a risk factor when it comes to sex."

"I know, which is why I'm giving you an out before shit explodes in my face and I hurt you more."

"Is that what you want? What you truly want?"

"You know it's not but I think it's best for you that we end." Jax couldn't look at Tara now. His heart was literally breaking at his own words. "I could build a whole palace for you and crown you Queen but it will never be enough for the shit I've truly done to you. Take some time out" he declared. "Clear your head. I know we rushed into this a little too fast but I want us to work this out. Together."

"Yah don't say" she chuckled sadly and looked down.

"I want you to know I'll be waiting. For the rest of my life I'll be waiting for you."

"Don't make promises you won't keep Jax."

"Ain't a promise. It's a vow to you. I've spent ten years locked up without you, I could live another ten doing the same thing." Smiling sadly, Tara saw Abel and Thomas over her shoulder and sighed sadly. "How long do you need to think for?"

"I don't know. I just know I need time to process what happened." She wiped her fallen tears and met Jax dead in the eye. "I don't want to leave you as much as I'd like so you have now to prove how much you truly love me." With that said, she pecked Jax on the cheek, stood up and brushed off the grass on her and got into her SUV without another word and she backed out of her driveway, leaving Jax who seemed to be super glued to his spot to not chase after her.

Long after Tara had left him at a puddle of mess on her front yard, Jax didn't take to moving anywhere. He knew he should've with the nosy neighbors but his heart was shattering all over again. If he was honest with himself, he didn't blame Tara for leaving his ass.

He could hear the motorcycle from a mile away but did nothing about his current position. The engine cut out then soon followed footsteps approaching while that person laid his hand over his shoulder. He glanced up to see Happy looking down at him.

"Bobby said he was gonna get onto seeing just what that gash has been hiding. The kids are good and he wants you to take your time coming back." Jax heard him say some other shit but he was too far in thought to even give a shit.

He stood standing finally and looked up to the house.

"Your gonna fix this brother. She'll come back. She has a job here and she won't let her patients down. She won't let her kids down either." Jax snapped his head towards Happy who shrugged his shoulder's.

"Yeah" was all he rasped.

"Wanna get wasted?" Happy simply asked.

"Yeah" he smirked this time.

"I'll provide the goods but next time it's on you" Happy smirked. He pulled Jax in for a bro hug and slapped him hard against his back. "Your gonna get through this shit. Just like she did back then and just like she will now."

* * *

AN. So your all probably gonna hate me for this but I did mention that things were gonna get rocky for our favorite couple and unlike Kurt Sutter, I love a good ending.

Please review.


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer. I don't own anything. Thank you all so kindly for your reviews.

Totally irrelevant to the story but have you ever loved, say a song and then you realize you suddenly hate it but can't because you love it so much?

Well I was like that when I first heard Ed Sheeran's make it rain. Given that I heard it before season six came out, I loved that song and will forever love it but when I plucked up the courage to watch season six and heard it playing in the background when Jax fucks Colette broke my fucking heart. I literally cried when I heard it playing and so now I don't listen to it very often like how I use to constantly listen to it daily.

Anyways I thought I'd just share that with you all.

And, I know some of you don't like Colette and I don't either but it was either her or Ima and to be honest they rule each other out that I can't stand writing about any of them. I like certain aspects of Wendy which is why I didn't write about her but on with the story and she's already lost a lot because of Jax, she doesn't need to loose anymore of her sanity.

* * *

Abel watched in horror as his mother took off. He'd seen the whole situation they walked in on transpire out of control. He watched as his father seemed to verbally attack the blonde woman his mother had just beat claiming to have a son by him.

As much as Abel loved his father unconditionally, he saw his father in a different light after the afternoon's events. He didn't realize he had a vise like grip on his sister's shoulder as she stood in front of him until she was pulling away with a guttural moan. He glanced down at her to see she was holding back her tears.

Knowing now was the time to be the big brother, Abel walked himself and his two siblings back into the clubhouse after apologizing to Faith and led them to a dark corner of the room where he saw a couch.

"What just happened Abey?" Her nickname for him did nothing to sooth his fury. Abel muffled Faith's cries by holding her in a tight hug when she asked him.

Not one to break his little sister's heart, Abel continued to soothe her while he took in the rest of the clubhouse.

If he knew any better, he'd have to say he's only ever been in the clubhouse a handful of times since moving back to Charming. He couldn't remember the times as a kid when it was just he and Thomas. It was those faint memories when he was a child that made him think his parents were so happy like they had been when they woke up this morning but in a child's mind, they were clueless as to what truly went on around them. Maybe that's why his eyes were finally opening up now.

His father had just been told that he fathered another kid by someone who wasn't his mother. It meant that his father had cheated on his mother. It meant that the picture perfect image he had ingrained in his head of his father was complete bullshit. That he'd just imagined it. And he hated himself for ever thinking his parents weren't anything but in love back then.

It seemed like hours until Faith finally fell asleep in her brother's arms from exhaustion. He didn't dare glance to his father who demanded the keys to the tow truck hours ago. He didn't even flinch as a few of the guys asked if they were hungry. Crow eaters had given himself, Thomas and faith plates of food full to the max but they hardly touched it.

"Abel, let's get you three to bed" Bobby's deep voice tried to sound soothing for their sake as Abel woke with a start. He didn't even realize he'd fallen asleep.

Abel didn't question. As he took in the clubhouse again coming up short when he didn't see his father, he knew they weren't going home tonight. He wiped the sleep from his eyes and glanced down at his sister who still laid asleep with her head in his lap. Brushing out her soft curls, she began to stir.

"What's the time?" Abel questioned. He spotted Thomas now digging into his plate of dinner at the bar and smirked.

"Going on midnight."

"Where's my dad?" Abel asked as he stood to stretch while not being able to take his eyes off of his sister who was stretching grumpily.

"Back at the house. I got Rat boy to pick you three up a change of clothes but Quinn's gonna take you to school from here."

"Sounds good" Abel stated as he offered a hand for his sister. "You okay sweetheart?"

"I'm fine" she groaned. She hated being woken up and there was no way to snap her out of her grumpiness. Abel rolled his eyes and led them towards Thomas where their dinner plates were ready hot and waiting.

"Are you not hungry Abel?" Faith asked.

"No. Just eat your dinner then we'll head on to bed." Abel sat in his stool swirling the straw in his glass of soda around. He knew there was no chance of going home so he stayed quiet. He pulled the plastic straw from the glass and down the whole half a cup when Faith mentioned she was finished and wanted to head on to bed.

* * *

Tara had no fucking idea why the hell she ran for. It wasn't as if she'd endured the worst of this shit and she most definitely would've taken her babies with her but she just needed time. She hated the feeling when Jax told her she needed to be stronger out of the two of them but let's face it. Neither Tara nor Jax had the strength to give the other up.

If ten years at college didn't prove it enough, the tough struggles over the five years they had together didn't either. And in turn neither did the further ten years spent apart.

But the betrayal was still there. Tara may have known about the cheating but she never in her lifetime expected to see the mistake Jax made show up ten years later and slap her in the face with a kid that looked a lot like her son Abel but if she had to guess, that kid seemed a lot older than Colette had stated.

Maybe she was kidding herself into thinking the love they had would be strong enough to pull through anything.

After spending the late afternoon driving around the one place she could escape Charming, she stopped by her old home in Sacramento reminiscing on the past and how much she missed this place. She continued to drive through the town passing the parks, supermarkets and everywhere else she used to take her babies before checking into one of her old regular hotel's for the night. She placed her purchased goods of alcohol down on the table along with an orange juice in the hopes to mix up a good drink to make her forget the past few hours and drunk herself into the next morning.

* * *

The next day flew by a lot slower than Abel expected. He only spoke with Thomas if they had lunch together but other than that, he kept to himself while ignoring his friends and whatever attention he was receiving from a group of girls.

The day got shittier for the eldest Teller son when his math teacher was giving him shit for not showing up to his fifth period class the previous day and was dumped with a shit ton of homework that he had to complete that night. It didn't help that as the day drew on his constant thoughts were running back to what happened at the clubhouse between his mother, father and that bitch rather than being focused on class to class.

When school let out that afternoon he practically high tailed it to his sister's school knowing she would be the happier of the three. He spotted Faith out among all the elementary school kids racing to get to their parents or to catch their bus. She sitting on the grass with her legs crossed Indian style and her head was in her hands.

He checked their surroundings for Thomas who should be here any minute and sighed deeply.

"Hey Abel" Chelsea called behind him which snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Chelsea hey" he offered a cool smile.

"I was wondering when you wanted to start our chem project?" He looked at her dumbly and she frowned in embarrassment. "Uh we were paired together in chemistry" she informed. "I know you probably don't have a clue seeing as you were a little distracted every time I tried talking to you but-" shit he thought as he tried recalling his chemistry class when old man Johnson told the class to pair up with his matches. Chelsea stopped when she saw a little girl hug up against his leg. Abel followed her line of sights then their eyes met again.

"Oh uh, I'm a little busy tonight but maybe we can start tomorrow. Yours maybe?" He asked smoothly causing Chelsea to nod.

"Okay. I'll start on it tonight then we can exchange notes in class tomorrow and seeing as we have chemistry last, we could head back to mine I guess."

"Sounds good" that was one thing to genuinely look forward to tomorrow. Having to share the same class as the girl who's been plaguing his mind for the past few weeks.

"I'll see you tomorrow then" Chelsea smiled then looked down to the girl still holding his leg.

"Who was that Abel?" Faith asked softly as they watched the brunette walk away.

"Just a girl from school sweetheart. Where the hell is Thomas at?" He growled in frustration. Usually he was on time. Abel searched the parking lot of both Charming elementary and high seeing as they were connecting schools and still came up short. From the corner of his eye he noticed something that had his eyes widening in complete shock. It was the blonde kid from the clubhouse lot that he was currently eyeing from his place on the opposite side of the lot. The boy must've known who he was because Abel found him staring back at him.

"What's wrong Abey?" She asked as Abel pried her off of him and stepped onto the pavement of the road as he gazed across the road. His eyes met a woman from across the road and he gulped down hard.

"Kids? Time to go" Quinn said pulling him from his line of gaze.

"Where's daddy?" Faith asked although she wasn't unaffected by Quinn picking them up, she was just curious to know.

"He's a little busy right now princess. Abel? Let's go. Where's your brother?" Quinn looked around for a moment then spotted the blonde boy running towards them with a smile on his face who to his complete shock was in the company of a certain biker bitch.

* * *

They ended up staying at the clubhouse again that night. They hadn't seen Jax but for Abel he wasn't surprised. It was beginning to annoy him that his father wasn't around to pick them up from school and add to the fact that he wasn't around the clubhouse after. They ate dinner and this time Abel ate. He couldn't help but keep quiet which freaked the guys out in the least.

Later that night after they made their way to bed, Abel stopped short in his tracks towards the kitchen in need of a water when he over hear the guys talking about him and his family.

All the guys except Chibs were currently surrounding one of the two pool tables.

"Jax is real cut up about this" came from Happy. "Drunk himself into a whole bottle of Jameson and smoked half my weed stash."

"Shit. This ain't good brother" Tig spoke up.

"Damn right it ain't and it's only day one" Bobby stated.

"This don't make sense though. Me and Chibs took over the books in Stockton when Jax got locked up" Tig stated. "I don't ever remember a time she was pregnant. She's too old and dried up to even fall into the category to get pregnant."

"And besides, she's a whore. Let's just play it her way and think if this is her kid then it could be anyone's" Rat rasped out.

"That's right" Tig added. "She slept with half of Stockton's male population. Out of that population there are more than enough men who have blonde hair and blue eyes. I got half a mind right now in riding over there and tearing her a new one."

"But you won't" Bobby informed.

"With Chibs currently watching Jax, Quinn your taking the kids to school right?" At Quinn's nod, Bobby nodded in response. "Good. Can't have the doc hating us for not sending them. You ride out with Hap tomorrow to check on Jax and relieve Chibs and pick them up once school's out. Bring them back here. Rest of you are with me."

"Where are we going?" Tig asked.

"Stockton. Check up on the gash and see where she's at."

"Sounds good."

"Something else you should all know" Quinn rasped heavily as they packed the last of their plans for tomorrow. As he caught his brothers attention, he gulped down the remaining of his whiskey and placed his glass back down. "I saw Gemma today."

"What?" Tig asked in shock. "When, where and why the fuck didn't you say anything earlier?"

"Abel spotted her first" Quinn supplied.

From his spot hiding behind the entry to the hallway leading to the dorm rooms, Abel stood in pure shock. His brain raking his mind for any kind of recognition of a woman Quinn says he supposedly had his attention on earlier.

"What the hell would she be doing there?" Happy growled.

"Beats me" Quinn shrugged. "Looked fragile enough to break."

"Maybe she's sick?" Tig questioned out loud.

"She's out when she's supposed to be serving a life sentence. I'll set a meet with her lawyers tomorrow and hold off on heading to the whore house" Bobby informed.

"Shit. We need to tell Jax" Tig growled in anger.

"No" Bobby ordered. "We don't tell Jax until I find out more. He's already dealing with this Colette shit blowing up in his face now and with Tara taking off, he needs to be there for his kids instead of hunting down his mother and dealing with her shit too. I'll handle Jax" Bobby declared with finality.

"Yeah except he's drinking himself closer to death right now" Happy exclaimed.

"He'll listen to me."

Abel slipped away after that. He closed his dorm room door quietly behind him and watched as his sister slept on her side of the bed. Thomas being the boy he was demanded to take the pull out couch leaving him to sleep with Faith. He didn't mind though. He loved his little sister enough to take her nasty sleeping habits.

He swallowed the saliva in his mouth and pulled out his phone, the light reflecting perfectly into his olive tone skin and he tapped the call log on it, scrolling down until he crossed the word mom. He studied his sleeping siblings a last time before heading for the adjoining bathroom and closing that door behind him.

What had just transpired in the clubhouse was just what he needed to hear.

He tapped his mom's number then placed the device to his ear.

* * *

Tara woke up to something ringing excessively loud in her ear and she groaned.

The heaviness of the alcohol and her never ending trail of tears were somewhat starting to take effect and she felt a headache coming on.

Feeling around for the device in the dark of her room, she flipped onto her back and checked the ID before jolting up in surprise. Clearing her throats and wiping her eyes from sleep, she answered.

"Abel?"

"Mom? Are you okay?" She didn't sound okay and he heard it with that one word.

"Baby I'm so sorry I left." The beginning of tears could be heard on Abel's side and he frowned.

"It's okay mom. I understand." Tara had a feeling he did too and she let out a small sob. Her babies didn't have to understand. They were still that- babies. "Have you been drinking?"

There was no denying that she hadn't considering he could hear the slur in her voice.

"Just a few glasses. Abel where are you?" She asked after a moment's silence.

"Bathroom of the dorm me Thomas and Faith are using at the clubhouse."

"What? Why the hell-" she stopped herself and made a note to call the guys. Abel heard her sigh and he smiled sadly.

"Where are you mom? We miss you a lot." He wouldn't dare say that he missed her the most but she knew it in her heart. He was the mama's boy.

"I'm in Sacramento baby. I couldn't go far without feeling further from you your brother and sister. I need you to know that I haven't left you guys."

"I know mom, just- when are you coming home?" For Tara, Abel seemed okay with her departure but it didn't stop her guilty conscious from taking over. She hated that she just up and left.

"I'll try to not make it long but for now, time is all I need." On the other side of the line Tara always knew her son was the strongest of her three. It's why she knew she could leave them behind even though deep down she knew it felt completely shitty.

"Come home mom" Abel whispered as he felt a tear prick his eyes. "Please-" he begged. "Faith doesn't have the slightest clue about what's happening or if she does, she's doing a great job of hiding it and Thomas- well he's just an idiot but I know you need us. You need dad and dad needs you."

"It's not that simple anymore Abel-"

"I know. I saw the whole thing but you need to work this out with him" he wiped the tears from his face and added "together." He inhaled sharply to keep calm and continued. "Uncle Hap said he's drinking heavily and closer to death. It's only been one day mom. We can't loose dad too."

Tara's breath caught in her throat. She didn't at all expect that.

"I call him. How does that sound?" Abel knew he wouldn't be able to get his mother to come home and if he could guess, he'd say his mother had been drinking too by the slur of her voice from the get go.

"Fine."

"But I'll call you tomorrow and I'll speak with Tommy and Faith too okay?"

"Okay. I love you mom."

"I love you too baby. I'll call you tomorrow."

Abel left the phone by his ears long after he ended the call. He couldn't honestly blame his mom for leaving. Sure he was just a kid but he understood how much betrayal was between husband and wife. He'd seen it with a few of his old friends parent's back when they were living in Sacramento and he hated that his friends were unhappy based on that. He didn't want to step into his old friends shoes and most definitely didn't want to have to hate his father should this so called kid of his is actually proven to be his.

* * *

Tara sighed heavily as she ended her call with Abel. It upset her in the least to know her babies were at the clubhouse but she knew she shouldn't of been surprised. Although Jax was a great father- had shown that on many occasions back when the boys were just babies and things got complicated- she knew her sudden decision to up and leave had driven him into a drunk stupor.

She scooped her phone up again and scrolled down her contact list before pressing Jax's name without second guessing herself. It rang out a few times until someone picked up.

"What?" It was him and he was definitely drunk- or was still currently drinking considering that it was just after midnight.

"Jax?"

"Tara?" On the other side Jax straightened up while at the same time spilling his amber liquid of Jameson that Happy had supplied on the table he was sitting at outside.

"Jax where are you?" She managed to clear her voice of the drunk haze she was in herself and let out a long sigh.

"I'm at home. Where are you?" He slurred out.

"A hotel."

"Which one? I wanna see you-" Tara ignored his question. "Babe come on, I just need to make sure your okay. Please?"

"Why are the kids not home with you Jax and why the hell are you drinking for?"

"I miss you. I'm drinking coz I miss you."

"The kids Jax" Tara growled out hating that he was being like this in this moment. "Why are they at the clubhouse and not with you?" She asked again. Jax sighed heavily as he hissed at himself for neglecting his own kids and breaking what Tara had asked of him.

"I got wasted not long after you left. Haven't left the house since." Jax heard Tara scoff and it began to boil something inside of him.

"This feels very fucking familiar Jax" she snapped at him.

"Your one to talk. Every time shit gets tough you run. You run like you always do" he fumed. He knew in that moment it was the wrong thing to say. "Babe I-" He tried apologizing but Tara cut him off.

"Yeah and you drink every time I do but you don't get to talk to me like that Jax. And I'm not fucking running. I told you that I was coming back."

"Yeah? When. Tell me when your coming back Tara" he argued.

"I don't know" she sighed in defeat causing Jax to sigh himself.

"Yeah. You don't know." There was a pregnant pause between the two before Tara spoke again.

"Abel is really cut up about this Jax. If you don't pull your head out of your ass, I'm gonna come back and I'm taking my kids with me."

"The hell you are" Jax growled. "Your not taking my kids from me Tara. No fucking way."

"Then act like the father you are and man the fuck up. Someone has to be there for my babies and while I'm too fucking cut up about your shit, you have to be there for them" she didn't bother waiting for a response when she hung up.

"Tara?" The line was already dead. "Fuck" he snagged and skulled back the rest of his whiskey in fury.

* * *

AN. And so the drama continues. Abel noticed something he shouldn't of and now the guys know. While Jax is drinking himself silly, Tara is kinda doing the same and Abel is lost.

Tell me your guys thoughts please? Negative and positive.


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer. I don't own anything and thank you all so kindly for your wonderful reviews. They mean so much to me. I always appreciate each and every review, favorite and follow.

I know there's no excuse for not updating over the weekend but I've just started working and it has to be my weekends *ugh* but I've decided to change my updating days after this update to either Monday's or Tuesdays *please keep in mind that this will be when it's either of those days for me as I'm from New Zealand and we're like one of the first countries to see a new day while the rest of the world slowly trail behind a day or two.

So I've just made a date for this chapter up so it doesn't confuse anyone.

October 3, 2023. It picks up the night after Abel calls Tara from the previous chapter. Considering that it's night when this chapter begins, it will roll into the next day- 4th of October just to make that clear. I'll write in the dates also so no one gets confused.

I hope you all enjoy this chapter and review. Good or bad feedback is good enough for me.

* * *

 **October 3, 2023**

After up and leaving the clubhouse only the previous day, Tara had asked Karyn for sick leave that night to which she was denied and was forced to take her shift the very next day. She'd acted in her professional self and was glad she ended up coming back to Charming to work. It made her realize that she was being completely stupid about the whole 'Jax potentially fathering another kid' situation.

Tara sat in her SUV for a moment with her eyes glued to the tow truck parked in front of her which meant Jax was inside and it was going on 1am.

If Tara was being honest with herself, she'd finished her shift not long after 8. She chose to only leave 20 minutes ago when she awoke from laying face down on her desk after having to work through the shit load of work on her desk along with checking over her resident's assignments.

Not giving a shit if she needed anything from her bags from the back of her SUV at this time of night, Tara dredged open her door while reaching for her handbag and slid out of the cage before slamming the door behind her and headed for the front door of her house. She nervously bit on her lip when she passed the tow truck until she hit her front porch.

The lights were all out when she stepped over the threshold but the smell of heavy alcohol burnt her nostrils and she groaned tiredly. She hoped her kids hadn't witnessed their father's drunk state. Any thoughts of hoping that maybe Jax wasn't here flew out the window when she inhaled his heavy scented cologne. It was obvious that he'd drowned his feeling of emptiness in alcohol. She just hoped that their familiar life cycle didn't end with him sleeping with a skank.

"Jax?" She called but there was no movement. She dropped her shit at her feet before locking the door behind her and called out for him again. "Jax? I know your here" Tara called as she entered the kitchen after looking in the living room to see it was completely spotless like how she left it the other day. The kitchen however displayed the biggest of mess. Beer bottles were everywhere along with one empty bottle of Jameson. Aside from that though, everything else seemed to be just how she left it.

There was still no sign of life in the house so she drug herself up the stairs, by passing her kids rooms when she noticed they weren't home and sighed in relief. She stepped further into her bedroom and stopped short when she realized why she wasn't being answered by him.

Jax was completely dead to the world as he laid half on top of the bed- sleeping on her side- while the rest of his body slung off to the side and it wasn't something Tara was never used to. He was still dressed in his clothes from days ago and she groaned when she saw another bottle of Jameson barely being held in his hand. By how much was left, she could tell why he'd fallen asleep the way he had. He'd almost downed three quarters of the bottle.

Groaning seemed to be the only thing she did as she removed his white sneakers and pulled his socks off. Next she helped him out of his shirt and then unbuckled his belt and removed his jeans from his waist then shimmied him as best as she could lift dead weight under the covers and placed a small kiss to his crown. She worked up a thin layer of sweat from trying to rid Jax of his clothes. She heard him mumble something in his sleep but chose to ignore it as she proceeded towards her bathroom in desperate need for a shower.

Jax was still asleep under the covers when she finished so she slipped on one of his clean shirts and a pair of panties before diving under the covers wanting to find sleep alongside him.

 **October 4, 2023**

Jax woke with a start. He dreamed that Tara had come home and that she tucked him into bed. _Stupid_ , he knew but when his eyes adjusted to the illuminating sunlight of the room telling him that it was well into the day, he felt something warm yet sticky on his shirtless body.

Inhaling sharply coz he knew he hadn't fucked anyone- not wanting to chance fucking shit up between him and Tara. He instantly recognized that sweet scent and was relieved to see Tara's soft features under the curtain of hair that blocked his view of her. Then his brows furrowed together and he had to reassure himself that he wasn't dreaming.

"Babe?" His voice was deep and heavy from the alcohol he'd consumed last night and that he'd just awoken. Shifting slightly to give life to Tara's body, he was relieved when he heard her groan and burrow her head further into his arm.

"Sleep" she whispered hoarsely while wrapping her arm around his waist.

Jax stiffened. He hadn't expected for his late night dream to become a reality. Moving to get a little more comfortable, he stayed lying down with Tara half draped over his own body now for the next few hours while he let her sleep.

The silence and the hours he allowed for Tara to sleep gave Jax the time to truly take her in. There was no point sleeping with how preoccupied his mind was right now. Everything about her made the anger and pain Jax had over the past few days melt instantly. Her soft snores of tiredness was a reminder of how much she worked so hard to provide for their family. It made him open his eyes to see just how much of a woman Tara truly was. He didn't care for much that she ran. He knew where she was the entire time, he just knew he needed to give Tara some space.

He could tell she'd gone to sleep crying and it only had him wondering why. But the reminder of her coming back had his jaw tensing. He was most likely the cause of her tears. He knew that. He decided that last night was going to be the last of his small drinking problem and that he would get his act together. He would clean himself up, be the father his kids needed and in turn the man Tara needed.

Jax wondered what made Tara change her mind and come home so soon. He'd get all his answers as soon as she had enough sleep but from the late night phone call they had together the other night, he assumed she would've swallowed her own advice and came home for their kids and all.

As his hands gently massaged her exposed hip, he could feel as she shifted that his top she was wearing had risen slightly giving them skin to skin contact. Her lower back was completely exposed where he knew her crow was inked into her skin. He shut his eyes as tight as he could from the massive hard on he was now sporting and given that Tara's thigh was draped over his midsection didn't help matters at all.

Jax was too consumed in trying to calm his full hard on down that he hadn't noticed Tara had fluttered her eyes open and was biting on her bottom lip sleepily. He hissed when he felt her rub up against him and opened his eyes to see she was looking up at him then he felt her soft hand reaching for him.

"What are you thinking about?" Tara asked hoarsely causing Jax to growl low at the sound of her morning voice.

"I'm thinking-" he gasped when he felt Tara's hand on his dick and she gently caressed her thumb over his head. "Babe" his voice strained in his throat when he felt her stroke him this time.

"Your so hard Jax" she purred into his ear before she bit low on his lobe.

"You make me hard baby." His hand cupped Tara's chin where he forced his mouth down on hers and he bucked up into Tara's hand for more friction. Tara chuckled as she pulled away from him to straddle his waist while still working him up.

"Say your mine" Tara said. She stopped her stroking to hover over him and held his eyes.

Jax pushed her down on his thick erection and held her in place, he gritted his teeth when he realized she wasn't wearing any panties and was soaking wet already. His eyes rolled to the back of his head as he leaned back into his pillow. He inhaled for composure and looked up to her. "Fuck-" his growl strained deep in his throat when he heard Tara chuckle again and he looked back up. "I'm yours Tara. Always was and always will be" he reassured her with a kiss- having no idea what the fuck was happening but he really needed inside his wife right now.

Satisfied enough with his answer for now, she kept up her attention on his throbbing cock while he began working her up with his fingers. Her moans filled the room.

"I'm close Jax" Tara whispered which gave Jax enough time to smirk before he had her on her back and was thrusting inside of her.

"Fuck babe, cum for me." He could already feel her walls tightening around him. She scratched up and down his back loving the fast pace he set for them before she came around him. Her orgasm was intense and his thrusting was ecstatic that she came almost instantly a second time.

"Jax-" her moans continued to fill the room as Jax worked Tara over. He gripped the bed sheets above her head as he thrust so deep into her that she was now screaming his name in pure ecstasy. "Oh god-" her head now thrown back giving Jax the perfect opportunity to lay claim over her throat- biting and sucking her sensitive skin into his mouth. "I'm gonna-" her chain of words were all jumbled up as Jax slammed into her, igniting the final fireball within the pit of her stomach.

"Shit babe-" Jax was too far occupied with getting Tara off- that her vice like grip had him cuming seconds later with her. He collapsed on top of her with a few powerful thrusts in a heap of sweat and knowing she was probably suffocating from his weight, right now he couldn't care less. Being inside of his wife gave him life- she brought him back from whatever train wreck he was headed down.

"Fuck" Tara chuckled as she rolled him off of her and a bright smile illuminated her face. "Now if that wasn't more clear enough for you, I'm here to fucking stay. We work this shit out together and no matter what happens, I'm here for you and for this child should he be yours." Tara moved to straddle Jax again, only this time she pulled him up so he was sitting straight. "I'm sorry I ran. I know it was stupid of me and for even letting you take the blame for something a whore says isn't right so I apologize for that too." She dropped her hands from cupping his face when he reached for them and he placed a kiss to them before meeting her eyes again. He shifted his legs so she wasn't sitting on him but the bed instead.

"What made you change your mind?" He asked. He still wasn't sure whether or not Tara would actually commit to what she said knowing she did have a habit of leaving in a heated argument if shit really went south between them but for now, he'd play it her way.

"I couldn't get off work yesterday" Tara shrugged. "Didn't really feel like wasting money on a hotel either."

"Your convincing yourself that" Jax stated with a pointed look to which after a moment Tara scoffed.

"Fine. Your right okay" she chuckled sadly. "I missed my kids. I was already in Charming and I feel like shit enough for leaving as it already is so don't rub it in."

"Sorry" Jax rasped softly as he turned to face Tara as they still laid side by side. "I forgive you. For up and leaving us" Jax clarified. Silence grew between the couple in their post sex festivities before Tara spoke up.

"Anyway, I had most of the day to think about what happened with Colette." Jax groaned. He knew they needed to talk about this and was all ears.

"I'm listening."

"I couldn't get what happened out of my head. Not her, not my babies and not Gemma."

"Where's this going babe?"

"I hope you don't mind but I've already talked to Rosen. The restraining orders have been approved now so Gemma won't be bothering us. As for Colette and this child, I also asked him if he could set up a DNA test to prove if he's your son or not. He said he'd call when it's all set up. I didn't want to run the tests at St Thomas considering that I work there or get her to buy a home test knowing something as whore like as Colette is, she could manipulate the situation at best and it doesn't help that those results come back two to three weeks later and that's still considering if she buys the tests straight away or not."

Jax was stunned now and Tara could tell. She smiled sadly. "Babe-"

"I know I should've spoken to you about it first but I just want to get it over with. I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize Tara" Jax stated honestly. He took her face in his hands and offered her a smile only reserved for her.

"This isn't just my life she's messing with. It's ours. If you needing to take control of this current situation is what you need then I'm all for following."

"I'm glad you accept" Tara smiled in relief and he pulled her in for a kiss. When she pulled away, she frowned.

"There's something else on your mind ain't there babe?" It wasn't a statement considering he could read her like a book and she sighed.

"It's probably nothing but I have a feeling that Gemma is behind all this" Tara stated clearly. Whenever Tara threw accusations out like that or whenever his mother's name flew from her mouth all those years ago, Jax had always ignored her.

Now though, now he wasn't about to continue on with old behavior when he should've actually been taking what she says into account from the get go. Shamefully, he now believed what his wife was accusing Gemma of. He stopped taking Tara for granted after that day-

"Okay, I'm listening."

"I kept putting small pieces together. You know, little hints here and there that might indicate Colette isn't as smart as she imposes. She couldn't of thought this whole shit through without knowing the consequences. Surely someone would be using her as her own puppet and who would do that better than Gemma?"

Tara did have a point and it was a damn fucking good one too. Throughout his whole life Jax had seen his mother manipulating a great list of people but at the top of that list was Clay and shamefully himself. They'd done a whole lot of shit for Gemma and it always turned out in her favor.

"Damn-"

"And with Gemma conveniently getting release, she comes back to Charming somehow knowing that your out. Maybe she's been keeping tabs on you since, I don't know but she warned me about keeping you from her. She knows her days are limited at best and she's trying her damn best to make sure you are at her side when she dies."

Jax stayed silent for the better half of a minute trying to process what Tara was saying. It made sense that she would do this and he had to give her a point for thinking she won which had him grinning from ear to ear.

"Or at least that's what I'm assuming."

"How fast can this test be done by?" Jax asked.

"It usually takes a few days up to a week. Why?" He was flinging out of bed now.

"I more than likely have a feeling too that Gemma is the one who set this shit in motion so we feed into the game" Jax grinned causing Tara's eyes to widen.

"Seriously?"

Jax nodded. "If she is using Colette and this kid situation to separate us then Colette will go back and tell Gemma about it. She'll realize what's happening and will most likely come out of hiding."

"But that means-" she was definitely a smart woman for reason. She frowned slightly and he smiled sadly.

"Yeah" he sighed knowing that if they were thinking along the same lines then they would have to keep playing the angry broken up couples card instead of the happy made up couple that they were right now.

"No. No fucking way" Tara snapped.

"Babe-" Jax tried to play her off.

"No Jax. That isn't gonna happen." She threw the sheets off of her body and slipped out of bed. "We find Gemma and confront her about this shit. If she's the master of this plan then let her explain the why. You force this shit out of her then you fucking do what you have to do but I'm not gonna sit around here and waste my time while she keeps playing with my livelihood." Tara was visibly shaking now. She'd managed to throw on a clean pair of underwear then a pair of tight jeans and a tank top before she dropped down on the edge of her bed and sighed tiredly. "She's not gonna do this anymore Jax. She can't" Tara was beginning to hyperventilate over this and it wasn't looking pretty.

"Babe, calm down" Jax tried soothing. He dropped down at Tara's knees and reached for her face, making sure he had her attention as her chest began rising and falling rapidly. "Just breath Tara" he consoled. After a moment of helping her breath back to normal, Jax smiled softly. "I won't let her hurt you babe. Your my number one. You and our kids and I won't ever put you in an uncomfortable or dangerous situation again when it comes to Gemma."

Finally Tara felt she could actually breathe properly. She offered Jax a hesitant smile and he pulled up to sit beside her.

"How often do you get panic attacks?" She gasped at that and looked to him. She huffed in frustration when he gave her a pointed look and scoffed.

"It's only ever happened whenever I think about that day" Tara whispered so low that Jax only just managed to catch what she said. "I see her eyes when I close my mine- she was high- there was this look in them. One that I feared. One that told me she knew something. She was there to kill me that day Jax."

Reliving that day was gut wrenching enough but in order for Tara to get over it, Jax knew she needed to explain what happened. He always knew his wife was a strong woman but after his arrest, he knew Tara hadn't taken to counselling. She played off that she was completely fine about everything- and even the guys had told Jax she was but Jax knew her. The real Tara and she wasn't at all coping with Gemma being out.

Tara continued to express what happened the day Gemma attacked her, Jax could only do nothing but listen intently and comfort her in the only way he knew how. Tears streamed down her face- and his too. By the end of their one sided talk Jax was practically holding a shaking Tara in his lap.

"I'm here babe" was all he could say to comfort her.

* * *

AN. I so hope I don't get shit for this but I was beginning to get pissed that Tara had run out yet again so I just brought her back before shit could get worse between them. Please review, good or bad feedback is always appreciated.


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer. I don't own anything but I wish I did.

It has come to my attention that this story is soon going to be coming to an end and it makes me sad. I have the next chapter ready and waiting which will be the last chapter before the epilogue that I'm working on and unless anyone has any idea's that they can throw at me, two more chapters altogether just about sum up the story. But please do not fear, I will be back with one shots with Abel like I mentioned in a previous chapter's author's note and occasionally I will throw in Jax and Tara.

On with the story... Please keep in mind that this is a fan fiction and what is written within this chapter that's all 'law talk' is completely made up. Legally, I'm assuming that lawyers can't access medical files without permission or whatever, it just makes my story flow- kinda- and it was beginning to frustrate me because I know little to nothing when it comes to talking all legally and what not.

* * *

Same day.

Once Jax had helped Tara compose herself from her slightly emotional mental break down over the damn headache known as _Gemma Morrow_ \- keeping in mind that after she'd expressed how she truly felt about seeing Gemma showing up at St Thomas, Jax was very protective of her. He would hardly let her go in the safety of the home they grew to share together once again. He held her close as they showered for the day. He offered to get her things even if she said she didn't need anything. Made sure she could clothe herself when she looked so lost and made sure she had something to eat to ensure she wasn't walking around on an empty stomach.

Without much verbal communication, Jax and Tara seemed to have a read on each others mind when it came to knowing how they were going to spend their day together. It was simple. After the phone call Tara received that Jax answered from Rosen about getting the go ahead for the DNA testing, they seemed to understand that a ride to Stockton was in order so Jax made a quick call to Bobby informing them of his brief plan to get Colette to Charming with the kid then they were gonna talk everything out with the assistance of Rosen being present.

"You know, with the shit we're about to do, you think it would be easier to travel on two wheels?" Tara asked stopping Jax from continuing on to the SUV and spun around with a raised brow. "I mean, it would just be faster and less time consuming if we rode on the dyna" Tara shrugged. "But if you wanna take my SUV then let's go."

Jax stopped Tara from walking in front of him and smirked as he wrapped his arms around her waist. He could see she was smiling in encouragement and was a wee bit chirpier than earlier on in the day. "You sure babe?"

"Yeah, I can't change you no matter how hard and how much I try. In the end I always lose so why not take the dyna?"

"Hey" he caught her face in her hands and frowned. "Don't be like that babe. You know I owe it to the guys now that they kept me whole inside-"

"Yeah I know, it doesn't matter." Jax caught her mouth with his before she could over analyse before he pulled away and rested his forehead against hers. "So does that mean we can take your Harley?" She asked trying to hide her excitement a tad.

"You know it." Tara jumped up and down in excitement before dashing back into the house to open the garage and get the keys that she kept up in her wardrobe for some unknown reason.

When she came back down Jax was already examining his baby from top to bottom.

"Shit babe, you kept up with the maintenance" it wasn't a question, more of a statement that Tara chuckled at. Although Tara had shown him his two wheeled death machine when he got out, he was still astounded by how well she groomed it and kept up with it's maintenance.

"You ask as if I know nothing about repairing a bike."

"Uh I forgot-" Jax smirked as he stood to his full height and pulled Tara into his arms. "You had one helluva teacher as I recall."

"One smoking hot helluva teacher" Tara smirked as Jax lowered himself to kiss her with passion and intensity. "All those times when it was hot and you were sweating your ass off paid off quite well if you ask me" Jax groaned as he pressed his erection into Tara.

"Ugh, babe. You know how hard you have me right now? Don't get me started again. We got shit to do, remember?" Tara pulled away with a grin from ear to ear. "What's that?"

Tara looked over her shoulder and drew her bottom lip in as she caught onto what Jax had his attention on.

"Uh, I may have had problems with this side of you before but it is and always will be part of you and- well, I figured we're taking the next step in the right direction and it is unsafe to ride without your kutte and I thought we could maybe-" Now she was just rambling on. The look in his eyes told Tara she might just be regretting it but he inhaled sharply and smiled honestly.

"Tara-" he brushed the pads of his fingers along her cheek before palming her face softly and she leaned into him with a smile.

""I could never change you before and I never really wanted to. I'm okay. I think I'm ready to let go of everything I've hated about this Jax."

"I didn't think you'd want me to-" Tara just shrugged. It gave Jax a long enough time to realize that Tara wasn't playing games- not that he thought she was in the first place. They could hear motorcycles in the near distant and their eyes said it all.

"Back the Harley out and I'll lock up."

Tara made it her point to take Jax's kutte with her as Jax backed his Harley out just on time to hear the roar of motorcycles idling out on the road. Tara gave Jax some time to speak with the guys as she locked up the house and making her way down the pavement to Jax who was straddling his ride and had his helmet on with the straps hanging at his ears.

All eyes were on her as she closed the distance between them with a familiar garment draped respectively over her arm. Jax stood up, pulled himself off his Harley and met Tara midway. There was nothing more than butterflies in the pit of Jax's stomach. Part of him still doubted his ability to wear the one thing that meant a lot to him- mainly due to vowing to Tara when he was released that he wasn't going to turn back to the club, he could tell in her eyes that some part of her just knew he wanted this part of him back again and she was willingly giving it to him.

Both had grins from ear to ear as Tara held out his kutte. He mouthed the words 'I love you' then spun around and flexed his shoulders back until he had both arms threaded through the openings. Tara helped him with the kutte the rest of the way before he spun back around and she fixed his front. She placed her hands on his chest and gripped the edges of his kutte in her hands.

"Perfect." Her smile was contagious as Jax pulled Tara back into his arms and claimed her mouth with his. Cheers, wolf whistles and cat calling could be heard from the guys before the pulled apart.

"Twice you've done that now" Jax purred into her ear.

"Yeah, and I don't plan on getting used to it now" she chuckled as he lead them back to his Dyna.

"Let's get this show on the road" Tig roared in excitement as Jax handed her her helmet then clipped it together, she did the same with his helmet before saddling up and heading out.

Bobby allowed for his much younger brother to take the lead in their formation like old times.

* * *

"Damn, I haven't been on your bike in years" Tara joked causing Jax to give her a brow.

"I should hope not babe." Together they took off their helmets and stretched out their limbs before the guys caught up with them. "Ready?"

"As I'll ever be" Tara chuckled. Jax lead the group holding a protective arm on the small of Tara's back towards the almost mansion like home. Bobby stood to Jax's left while Chibs was at Tara's right. Tig, Happy, Quinn and Rat followed respectively behind while Cortez stayed back at the clubhouse to run Intel on Gemma like Jax had asked. Spotting the familiar black Mercedes in the driveway, Jax could tell by the pick up of Tara's breath that she was trying to forget about the last time she was here and so was he. He gripped her waist a little harder as they took the few steps towards the front door.

Rat got the door, Jax entered first followed by Tara then the rest of the guys.

"Hey boys, looking for some fun?" A blonde haired green eyed woman wearing a tight tank top and short mini skirt asked as she eyed Jax up and down. Tara huffed out an exhausted breath in the span of a few seconds of entering the whore House. Jax pulled Tara in front of him and held her from behind trying to state that he was spoken for.

"No. Came to see Colette. Where is she?" Tara spoke with annoyance.

"What's it to you?" She had the decency to be a smart mouth too. The blonde held her hands on her hips and looked from the guys with an innocent smile then to Tara with a cocky one. Tara chuckled coldly and met her head on.

"Do you know who I am and what I could have done to you?"

"No and honestly I don't give a shit. Rat, are you gonna say something?" Tara spun around to Rat with a glare that had him frozen in his spot then she turned back to the blonde. Tara wasn't so dumb as to think Rat must've fucked this bitch or if she was claiming him in front of her.

"Sweetheart, how long exactly have you been in these boys lives for?"

"A few, why do you care?"

"That's obvious" Tara smirked as she held her hand out for Jax. "You know who my old man is?" She felt Jax take her hand and rolled her eyes knowing exactly what he was thinking. _Cocky asshole_ she thought _._

"This guy I presume" the blonde stated dumbly as she looked Jax up and down. Her dumbness was instantly replaced by a seductive look once again.

"That's right so keep your fucking glares elsewhere. Jax just got out of prison after a ten year stretch. He was the former president of the Sons and can have things done to you that you couldn't even think of so I suggest you tell me where the fuck Colette's office is right now."

The impatience was clear in Tara's voice as she looked this blonde up and down. The blonde finally saw the threat in Tara's words and backed up slightly. "Her office is upstairs second on the right."

Tara pushed past the blonde bimbo with Jax on her heels. "Was that really necessary babe?"

"Not really but these gashes need to know their place now that we're back and I don't plan on letting them walk all over me."

"You do remember that we don't hurt women?"

"Yup but she doesn't" she smirked before knocking on the second door on the right. She ignored the fact that she wasn't answered and strutted inside the office where Colette stood almost instantly from the shit load of papers she was working on.

"What the hell is this? You don't seem to understand the word come in now do you honey?"

"Don't patronize me whore." Tara sat down and Jax stood behind her. "And don't even think about looking twice at my husband. I'm the one speaking so you'll address me and me alone" Tara snapped when she caught Colette glancing to her husband.

"Fine. So be it" Colette scoffed. Tara placed her bag at her feet and crossed her right leg over her left one.

The room was quiet for a moment as the guys moved to flank behind Jax and Tara who was in full old lady mode. Everyone studied the results of Tara's handy work but they didn't address the injuries. The blonde madam sported two black eyes as a result of a broken nose and had a light cast over what Tara could only assume as a sprained wrist.

"I've spoken to our lawyers and he's already setting up a DNA test for your son and Jax but the bill is coming straight to your front door." When Colette was about to protest, Tara continued. "I'm the one talking here, not you, not Jax." She inhaled a breath then continued. "We will escort you and your son to our lawyers office in Charming, understood?"

"Are you just gonna stand there and let your bitch of a wife control you?" Colette asked pointedly to Jax who smirked.

"I like when she takes charge of my shit" Jax scoffed. "She wants this bullshit DNA test done with just as much as I do" Colette scoffed to herself then turned back to Tara.

"It's really not necessary. I know who my sons father is and it's Jax" Colette seethed. Tara could read this woman like a book and she didn't even know her, she clearly didn't want to get to know this whore either but she could tell Colette was lying.

"Well then you won't mind proving me wrong then, right? Or are you really that naive to claim he's Jax's?"

"Don't put words into my mouth bitch. I may be many things, but a pushover ain't one of them."

"I'm just throwing accusations out there. You know, like you thinking your son is Jax's. How can you really be so sure of yourself anyway? I mean, you are a whore and what is it that gashes like you live for?" Tara looked back to the guys in thought as Tig spoke.

"Your there to service horny men whether you like them or not." Colette shot him a look that he laughed off. "No way am I getting on the wrong side of this woman whore" Tig spoke up again as he stood at Tara's side proudly. "You picked the wrong old lady to face Colette and soon you will know that."

"And your story just don't add up considering we ain't ever seen you with a kid in all the years we've worked together" Bobby spoke. "So excuse us for wanting answers."

"I'm telling you Luke is Jax's son" Colette stood and reached for her cheap hand bag. "But fine. Whatever you want" Colette scoffed knowing now that their plans were set in motion, she couldn't back out of them even if they would get her killed.

"Good. Now let's go."

Once they were back in Charming it took a half hour to get all necessary tests done before Rosen had Jax and Tara seated on one side of a ten seater table and Colette on the other with her lawyer Andrew Hayes that she'd called through her time here. Why she felt the need to call her lawyers was anyone's guess. Most of SAMCRO had gone back to the clubhouse while a few stayed back and Luke had been set up in a small play room for kids while the adults spoke.

"I don't see why my son had to be taken to another room for" Colette spoke in frustration.

"Nothings gonna happen to him. We just want to talk some more" Tara spoke. She never once faulted with the dominating voice as she still took charge of the day.

"What now?" Colette asked with an eye roll.

"It is in my clients best interest that we get to the bottom of this" Rosen addressed as he straightened out some files in front of him. "I've got some useful information here that may help my clients in this case."

"Case? We could've resolved this on our own" Colette scoffed. "Are you just gonna sit there and let this no good lawyer deal with our shit Jax?"

"First off, this isn't _our shit_. It's yours. Your throwing out accusations I'm most sure ain't fucking true. I just want to get this shit over with Colette" Jax growled impatiently. "The longer you drag your shit out, the more frustrating this becomes for me. Rosen's here to help get it done and so you stop playing mind games with us."

"I'm not pla-" Jax cut her off.

"Just shut up. Shut the fuck up and don't say anything" he snapped before turning towards Rosen who gave him a _really_ look.

When there was silence in the room, Rosen finally addressed the table.

"So, I did some digging and according to your medical files and around the birth of your son you weren't admitted to any governmental hospital nor had you stayed or overstayed any medical treatment."

"I had a home pregnancy. I knew a doctor or two who helped. Everything turned out great so it wasn't necessary for me to be admitted into hospital and they owed me a favor or two." Colette spoke almost instantly- it was as if she'd rehearsed that sentence. Rosen chose then to hand over the medical files belonging to Colette to her lawyer Andrew Hayes.

"How ironic" Tara chuckled. "Let me guess, you blew them a time or two? Maybe fucked them to have them do your dirty work?"

"Dr Knowles-" Rosen warned.

"Where are my manners?" Tara scoffed.

"Well it worked out with your husband now didn't it bitch?" Colette smirked just needing to take the bite.

"Stupid gash. You women just don't know your place now do you?" Tara pulled back and inhaled a much needed breath before cutting straight through the bullshit. "I know for a fact that your son isn't Jax's. You wanna know why?"

"Not really" Colette exclaimed as she threw her hair over her shoulder. "But your gonna tell me anyway."

"Your in denial. You fought with the DNA testing when we picked you up and you stalled when we got here only to finally be shoved by one of the guys to do something you clearly know isn't going to turn in your favor." Now addressing her husband, Tara's main focus was to ignore the blonde madam across from her. "Answer me something?" He nodded. "When did you sleep with this woman?" For the sake of her own sanity, Tara was trying to be somewhat nice about this. She knew that Colette was flat out lying to her face about a few important and she was determined to find out what.

"Babe-" He sighed. Hazel met sorrowful blue for an intense moment before Jax answered at her soft look. "Few weeks before I got locked up then a few days before."

"And you swear you wore protection."

"Course I did" Jax snapped defensively.

"Calm down baby, I'm just trying to get to the bottom of this." Tara was surprisingly calm and collective over questioning her husband's fidelity in this moment. Maybe it was because she realized that she was a fraction to blame for driving him elsewhere all those years ago but it didn't help the slight bit of heartbreak to remember everything she tried so desperately to forget.

"Which would be?" Colette cut in.

"That your lying about everything" Hayes spoke which shocked Colette in the least. "Don't give me that look Miss Jane. It's written here in black and white" he waved the papers that Rosen had handed him in his face.

"Let me guess, I'm pretty good about guessing" Tara spoke. "She lied about her sons age to start something between me and Jax? I'm gonna further my case and guess that he's 12 instead of 10 like Colette says or 9. I mean, Luke does look a lot older than a 10 year old. I'm also gonna take another guess and say she is lying about this shit to cover someone else's ass. Am I right or what?" Tara didn't dare turn away from the intense glare she was giving Colette who faltered under the intense contact.

"Your correct Dr Knowles" Andrew spoke much to the protests of his clients pathetic begging.

"According to these medical files, the child in question is actually 12. Has been 12 for the past six months."

"No. This is complete bullshit. How soon can those tests be done by?" Colette was standing now and she had her hand bag draped over her shoulder and was preparing to leave.

"Sit down Miss Jane" Rosen spoke lowly but dominantly so the elder woman would listen. Colette huffed in frustration but sat down, dropping her bag at her side as she ignored the hard glares from Jax and Tara. "Now, answer me something. Why did you make this up?" Colette ignored. "Okay, are you gonna say anything to prove your side of the story, you can't stay quiet now. This isn't an interrogation and even if it was, your lawyer is present so you have to say something." But still there was no answer.

"Listen, Colette. I knew you were completely full of shit the second you walked onto that lot. Your son, he is not Jax's and no DNA test or any other kind of test will prove he is. The timelines don't add up but you knew that already didn't you?" Tara was genuinely trying to be nice. She was trying to put off the fact that this woman had the decency to break her and Jax up. "You must also be forgetting that Jax has just gotten out of serving 10 years. I should know that because I am his wife. My daughter- Jax's daughter is 10. She was conceived just before Jax was arrested for a 16 year stretch. That is just one way I've kept tabs on knowing how long Jax was in jail for."

"You have a kid?" Colette asked in genuine shock. She looked from Jax then Tara then back again as they both nodded in unison.

"Two boys and a girl."

"I knew about your boys. I just didn't know you had a girl."

"And how did you know about my boys?" Tara growled on the defensive side as she glared to Jax. The look he gave her had her rethinking that maybe he hadn't taken their boys with him anywhere.

"Your-" Colette stopped herself there and slapped her hand over her mouth.

"My what? Fucking answer me?" Jax snapped.

"Mr Teller, there is no need for that language" Hayes defended his client.

"Your mother" Colette spoke in surrender. She had drawn her fate the day she agreed to doing this so there was no point hiding anymore. They'd gotten to the bottom of the beginning of the lies so it was just a matter of time before they got to the source.

Stunned in the least, Jax was blown away so much that he dropped back in his seat in complete shock.

"Your mom told me that if I helped remove the wife from the situation that we could somehow be together. That you would need help dealing with shit. She said you were gonna take back the gavel and needed a strong old lady at your side."

"And you think just cuz I fucked you a time or two that you fit that description?" Jax scoffed in disgust. "That isn't how shit works and you know that. I've only ever had one old lady. There ain't a fucking day that goes by or has gone by that I've never thought about her. Never a day gone by where she fills my heart and is the only one that can do shit to me. You, Colette are sadly mistaken if you think me and Tara will be broken by a pair of power craving woman like you and Gemma."

There was a deadly silence in the room. A moment passed before Andrew dropped the files on the table and slid them across to Jax who took them without question. His eyes skimmed over the wording before looking back up at Colette.

"She just wants to talk with you Jax" Colette cried. "Please understand everything she's done is for you, for us. The family we could've had."

Jax scoffed as he stood and pulled Tara up with him. He held a protective arm around her waist and glared maliciously to Colette. "Nothing good comes from knowing that woman. And your fucking dreaming if you ever thought we could've been more than a fuck. Saggy pussy just ain't my thing." It was a moment later that the only thing in the room that could be heard was Colette's small sobs. "Your services are no longer required anymore gentleman, can you give us a minute? Can you tell whoever is out there to come in too?"

"Sure, we'll just be waiting outside" Rosen stated. They left the room in a hurry and closed the door on the way out.

Jax turned Tara into his arms and smiled in relief for the first time that day. "I love you" he whispered.

"I love you too." Closing the distance between each other, Jax let Tara know just how much he loved her and also let Colette know that they weren't to be messed with again.

Tara was shocked at the dominance from Jax and kissed him back with just as much possessiveness mainly due to the fact that a certain blonde whore knew what they were doing. When they pulled away Tara narrowed her eyes at him. "Why not just piss all over me? That way you could mark your territory and all that." Jax gave Tara his lope sided grin.

"I could've sworn you were thinking the exact same thing" he grinned causing Tara to simply raise her brow with a smug smile across her face. She'd achieved what she wanted when she glanced back down at Colette before turning at the sound of the door opening as Bobby, Tig, Chibs and Happy tumbled in. They each nodded respectively to Jax and Tara before they stood proud before Colette.

"You understand what this means now, right Colette?" Jax growled impatiently. All he wanted to do now was relieve the ache in his pants at the possessive kiss he just gave Tara. She nodded once, her head bowed down so she was looking at the table. "These files say that I am not the father of your son so don't sought me out for anything near the subject but just to sooth my anxiety, I want to see proof of those tests when they're ready." He collected the files he had finished reading and folded them up before placing them on the inside of his kutte. "Instead why don't you get onto finding out who the father really is?" Colette scoffed and everyone else in the room knew what she meant by that. She was a whore after all so there was no guessing who the father could be unless she knew already. "As for Gemma, I wouldn't be too fast to rush back to her. My guess is you'll either go running for the hills or calling her about what happened here today and it won't turn out good for you considering you just blew her plan over. Either way, I don't give a shit what happens to you, long as you stay the fuck out of mine and Tara's lives and don't go fucking with other people's either cuz it ain't nice."

Tara raised a brow at this woman who clearly didn't think they were smart enough to outsmart her at her own game.

"You were played. Just like I always was and now your about to receive the shit on the other end of the stick."

Colette stepped towards Tara with the impression to meet her head on. Most of the guys surrounded Colette and Tara should they make a move before either woman could while the prospect removed Luke from the situation and waited with him outside.

"After all these years, that one beating I received from you was enough for me to get my revenge on you. No matter how I do it, it would all come crashing down on you. Going against Gemma _will be the death of you_."

The guys were all shocked when Tara stood completely still. They'd thought that she'd at least take a swing at the gash but Happy and Quinn were the first to remove the blonde madam from getting her ass chewed up and spat out by Jax who was ready to kill.

"I wouldn't think too long as to seeking Gemma out Jax. She's recovered from her last treatment so she's gaining her strength back."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean bitch?" Happy spat out as he towered over the blonde who was almost shitting her pants. She stumbled for words to say before he shoved her out the office and slammed the door in her face.

"So we do know that she's been keeping Gemma now" that came out more as a statement rather than a question. Jax was seething with rage as he held Tara close to him.

"Jax-" It was the slight whine that came from Tara that had him looking down at her. He could feel her visibly shaking and he wrapped his arms around her. "Take me home."

"What did we talk about at home babe?" Jax rasped softly into her ears. It would've sent chills down her back if she wasn't upset. "Your stronger than this. What you did in here for us today, it shows you can beat anyone at their game babe and considering that that pawn master was Gemma, I'd say you did a pretty good job of that. We need to do this for ourselves babe. We need to find Gemma before she finds us." It was dead silent again for a long moment. The guys were hanging behind Jax and Tara giving them some space before Tara inhaled a much needed deep breath as she wiped her face free of her tears.

"Let's do this then before I pussy out" Tara spat out as she darted straight for the door and out of the law firm sending her thanks to Rosen and a smirk to Colette.

Next stop, Gemma's.

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AN. Thoughts? I hope it wasn't too confusing but PM's are always welcome if I didn't get the point I wanted across properly.


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: I own nothing SOA related but my own goods.

I hope your all happy to read that I'm extending the story a little bit more. I had planned to wrap everything up in the epilogue but I guess some could say I would extend each of those chapter.

* * *

"You sure that this is the right place?" Jax asked as he looked to Bobby who was nodding.

Bobby was one helluva President. He knew what needed to be done before it was even spoken out loud about. He knew that something hadn't added up right when Quinn said that Gemma was out and had Cortez run a background check on her. It turned out that Gemma had been living in Charming ever since her release.

"Had the prospect watching the house since we found out where Gemma was living. It's the house brother" Bobby answered to which Jax gave out a thankful nod of appreciation then brought the smoke he'd been smoking to his mouth.

Jax knew that Tara had to be the one to make the first move. He stood a decent few feet from Tara as she stayed straddled on his bike for the past five minutes trying to compose herself.

"Everything okay brother?" Bobby rasped in question as he pushed off his bike, keeping his eyes on Tara.

"Yeah. She's just getting her head together." Tig and Chibs followed their presidents line of sight until all eyes were on Tara. Sensing that all eyes were on her, she snapped her head in their direction, causing them to jolt upright in their position.

"Hey doc-" Chibs spoke causing Tara to smile. Jax came up and helped her off of his bike and moved her into his arms with an intense look on his face. He could feel her shivering slightly and cupped her neck before pulling her into the crook of his neck. "You don't have to come in babe."

"Yes I do, Jax" Tara said on a sigh. "Let's go before I pussy out." She pulled out of the warm embrace and held her hand out for Jax and they walked side by side- he was again being more protective now as they inched closer and closer to the dragon's lair. The formation was much like how they'd entered the whorehouse back in Stockton. Bobby stood to Jax's left, as Chibs was to Tara's right while Tig, Happy and Rat fell behind. The kids were due to finish school so Quinn was once again on pickup duty. He never minded though considering it gave him plenty of time to bond with not only his kids but also the Teller kids too. He had missed them when they moved away.

They'd parked around the block from Gemma's so as not to alert her at the sound of their motorcycles and nodded to Benny who was sitting in the van across the street and a few houses down in the direction they were heading in.

"Flick the prospect a text telling him to head back and Cortez should boss his bitch ass around for the time being."

The walking formation came to a stop once Jax and Tara's feet hit the few steps on the front porch of Gemma's house. Tara knocked three times once and was met with silence.

"She's definitely home" Bobby spoke in reference to the luxurious SUV sitting in the driveway.

"Oh yes she is" Happy rasped as he spotted movement behind the drapes inside. That's when Jax began to pound on the door to speed things up a little. Gemma opened the door moments later with an ear to ear smile before it faltered upon seeing Tara.

Both Jax and Gemma gasped in shock for two different reasons. Jax because Gemma looked like complete shit and nothing like he remembered or even pictured her being near for that matter. Gemma for simply being surprised by her son and daughter in law's presence.

"Jackson-" she whispered hoarsely as her body began to tremble when she glanced back to Jax. Jax had a death grip on Tara's hands. She reached her skeleton like hands out for him but he retreated in disgust. She looked as if that didn't sting but it did. "I'm surprised your both here. All of you actually" Gemma addressed the five other bikers before her. She welcomed them into her home as if she hadn't done anything wrong. "Can I get you guys anything to drink? Sorry I don't have beer though" she was quick to say.

"We're good."

"Can't say the circumstances for being here are mutual Gemma" Chibs spoke. Once Gemma had the door closed after Rat, she was surprised that most of the guys filled her entire foyer and were giving off their most intimidating expressions. There was no invitation or loophole that even offered her the chance of a hug from any of the guys and she frowned.

"So this isn't a social visit then" Gemma scoffed as she stepped into the living area and moved to sit in her recliner. "Is something wrong?"

"Sit down." The authority in her son's voice had Gemma listening. She tried not to show any signs of weakness as she moved into her living room and sat down on her recliner with her guests falling behind her.

"Is something wrong?" Gemma asked again with a stoic expression once again.

"Yeah, how the fuck could you play mind games with my fucking life Gemma?" Jax spoke evenly. "I don't know what the record is for a mother trying her damn best to ruin her son's life and once again I'm finally happy but you just had to go and ruin it all." Gemma only squirmed in her seat under the scrutiny of everyone's heated gaze on her.

"Do you at least have some pathetic piss poor excuse to say?" Tara asked. "Because, if I'm not mistaken; that's exactly what you were trying to do. Or at least, that was according to Colette" her eyes stayed focused on Gemma before she scoffed in irritation.

"That little gash" Gemma rasped under her breath after a few moments. "In my defense, it wasn't trying to ruin your life baby" Gemma spoke, addressing her son. "I was just so angry that Tara wouldn't talk to me when I made the effort to visit her at work that day." She looked down at her hands and began playing with her rings. "All I wanted was to apologize. I didn't even think I had it in me anymore to do what I did."

"Then why did you do it on the first place Gemma?"

"I saw my grand kids. I didn't know you were pregnant. She looked so much like you baby" Gemma said speaking to Tara. "I wanted to meet my granddaughter who looks so much like you baby" Gemma spoke with a faraway smile. "I always imagined you two having a little girl. Her long blonde hair that she got from Jax. Her smile and eyes from you. She would've been the perfect combination of both of you."

Jax and Tara both glanced to each other before Gemma spoke again.

"I wanted to see my grandsons again too. When I saw them that day I was stunned to see how big they were. How much I missed out on their lives."

"You have no one to blame but yourself Gemma" Tara spoke evenly. "And I will never forgive you for what you did to me. No apology or anything will be acceptable now."

"I know" she resigned to say with her head bowed down.

"You thought I was a rat" Tara pointed out. "You had only one look in your eyes that day and it was red."

"Tara baby-" Gemma began before Tara cut her off with a sharp slap to the face. Part of Tara felt bad about hitting an ill patient but she wasn't about to be mocked by a condescending woman who's true feelings were all about herself.

"Did you ever think back then what your actions could've done to this family? What Jax and my kids would've had to suffer if you actually killed me that day? HUH?" Tara was now simmering with rage. She wanted to slap this woman again for the shit she caused but Jax had a firm hold on her hips and he wasn't dumb enough to let Tara go anytime soon. "And how dare you play mind fucking games with our lives. If you were so desperate to talk with Jax then why didn't you fucking talk to him yourself instead of visiting me at St Thomas? Why didn't you approach him like you approached me? Was I just an easy prey? A move you knew that would piss and scare me off? You didn't have to create some manipulation game like playing the infidelity card on us either" she chuckled as a way of covering how hurt Gemma had made her feel.

"I-" Gemma began before Tara cut her off again.

"Don't fucking speak. I've had a long fucking day and all I want to do is get this shitty day over with." Jax knew that Tara was about to snap again and pulled her back. He held her hips firmly as he looked to his mother who was definitely breaking not only mentally from her terminal illness but also physically.

"You got anything to say for yourself?" Jax rasped. He was trying to keep his temper in check. The manipulation caused by this woman he once called mother and loved unconditionally went far beyond anything he could ever imagine.

"How did you know I was behind this?" Gemma spoke softly. She was trying to hold her tears at bay but the red hot sting of Tara's slap made the tears fall.

"After forcing Colette to do the tests and sit down with our lawyer she copped to it. Timelines didn't add up obviously considering the kid was 12 and not 10 like he would've been" Jax spat out. "But you knew that didn't you? Your the one who put her up to the task."

"Jackson-"

"Don't. Call. Me. That-" Jax spoke through gritted teeth. "Like Tara said, you didn't have to manipulate a situation Gemma. Coming to me would've saved you this." He growled in frustration as Gemma moved into her living room to take a seat.

"Even if I had, would you have let me see my grandkids?"

"Probably not" Tara answered before Jax had the chance to say the same thing himself. Gemma sighed in resignation.

It was then that Jax took in their surroundings. It wasn't much. Just some cheap furniture and enough that it was Gemma's style. He wondered for a brief moment how she could set herself up in a house like this considering she had nothing. The house she and Clay owned had been sold on the cheap and the money from it was sitting in an untouched bank account with nearly over five hundred thousand dollars.

* * *

"Tara told you I was sick?"

"Yeah, so?"

"You don't care?" Gemma asked with a frown. She was definitely stung by his comment. "I've had it for a few years now which is why I was released a few months back when I was diagnosed as terminal. I only have a few weeks left to live."

"You really think you can guilt me into making your last living weeks on earth a breeze for you?" Jax scoffed at that. How dare she think the past was all but forgotten. "I'm sorry Gemma but you of all people should know how much I love deep and hate deeper. You were the one after all who groomed me that way and I can't thank you enough but your dead fucking wrong if you think I would even give you the time of day now, not after this Colette bullshit. Only reason why we're here now is to wash our hands with you."

The first sob that came from Gemma was heartbreaking for Jax. His tough exterior that he was trying to hold onto was beginning to break and Tara could tell. She offered him a light hand squeeze and nudged him that it was okay to comfort his mother. Out of all the bad that this woman had put him and Tara through, Jax couldn't give in. He just couldn't. Tara clearing her throat pulled him back to reality and he remembered all the harsh shit she'd done to them.

Every. Single. Little. Detail.

That hatred and rage was enough to push through those gut wrenching sobs of Gemma's as Jax continued to spit hateful words to the woman who'd given him life.

"I'm dying baby."

"Don't" Jax hissed, his free hand clenched tightly over his knee. "Don't play the sick card Gemma. For one, it's weak and two, I don't give a shit if your sick or not." Gemma sniffled to herself but Jax looked elsewhere, ignoring her small sobs of helplessness. "And you said so yourself that you would do everything over again if you had to."

"I went to St Thomas with the intentions of hoping to see you again. To see my grand kids. I deserve to see my family."

"Except you know the shit you've done can never change a thing. You are nothing but a cold hearted woman with nothing but your own intentions ahead of everyone else's. What you feel now, that is heartbreak. True heartbreak Gemma. No time, no money or anything you could offer will ever be enough to fix what you've broken. When you were serving time did you ever think about the what if's? What if you had in fact succeeded in killing Tara? What would life look like today if you hadn't laid your hands on Tara, huh?" Jax wasn't calm about how he spoke either. He was vicious and all up in Gemma's face.

"Yes I did and if I could take it all back I would. That day, I wasn't thinking at all. My mind was completely clouded."

"Well I still think about the what if's too Gemma. Fuck, I have nightmares about that day. I imagine walking in a little later to see my wife dead. Beaten badly. Her bloody body lying lifeless in a pool of her own blood everywhere. Her brain half caved in and no fucking evidence of who killed her." Jax was shaking as he spoke. He never once expressed how the same nightmare almost haunted his dreams since he first got locked up. Gemma had to know that she'd broken him. "I don't even think past that point but it's always there and sometimes I can never wake up from it."

Jax was far too enthralled with his own feelings and emotions that he hadn't heard the front door open when Tara left the room, nor did he hear Bobby going after her.

"But still you thought about that day. Like I said, you can't change what's already done. I'm glad I was there to stop you. I'm glad that Tara is alive and breathing while she took care of our kids like a mother should do. I have never met or known anyone who is more conniving, manipulating self loathing with love for no one but yourself and cold hearted as you are Gemma."

Gemma couldn't fathom looking into her son's eyes. She knew she'd fucked up the moment she plotted a plan with Colette. Maybe if she'd gone straight to Jax like she should've then all this could've been saved. She maybe could've met her granddaughter who in her eyes looked everything like her mother and it brought a smile to Gemma's face. Maybe she could've gotten to know her grandson's too but again, Gemma put manipulation before any of them and she lost the battle she knew she'd lose in the first place.

Tara had come back in after gathering the last bit of strength she had and stood behind her husband with a determined look on her face.

"I know no words could ever amount to anything I say from here on out about that day but I'm truly sorry for what I've done." Gemma was finally accepting that this was her fate. That her son was never going to come back to her. That Tara wouldn't look at her the same and that the guys would take their side over hers. She was finally accepting that her karma was coming around to bite her on the ass, hell, being locked up and discovering she had terminal cancer was proof that karma had a way of sneaking up on her unexpectedly.

"One last question" Jax spoke evenly.

There wasn't in any way that Tara was accepting an apology from a dying woman. She didn't have pity or any emotional feelings for the woman that could make her accept either. It was just the way it was. Tara turned into Jax's arms and rested her head against his shoulder. She knew it was the one question that had been bugging him all day ever since they figured out Luke wasn't his son. Gemma gave out a small hum for Jax to ask. "You knew I wasn't the father in the first place" she nodded. "It ain't like I really gave a shit but if you knew it wasn't me then surely you knew who it was? Surely you know."

"I had someone look into the kids medical files and found no record of the father. Either she was hiding something and didn't want anyone finding out or she was waiting for something like this opportunity to present itself."

"Let's go, Jax" Tara whispered.

For a moment both Jax and Tara took in the state of the fragile woman. She'd aged a lifetime again since Tara last saw her and it was just appalling for Jax to even look her over. Without another word, Jax and Tara made their way out of Gemma's house and out of her life for the last time. The guys made their exit after Jax but Bobby stopped to speak with Gemma.

"Maybe in a different lifetime Gemma" Bobby spoke softly at the broken woman sobbing into her hands.

"Tell him I will always love him" Gemma stated softly, stopping Bobby from leaving her for a moment. "Tell them both that I forgive them for not forgiving me. That when I die I will die in peace. Everything that they know of me will be buried six feet under when my time comes." She stood now and opened her arms out. She needed to feel alive, even if it was a hug from this man who she loved like the rest of them.

"I think they already know that Gemma."

"And tell Tara that I really did love her. She's going to need that guidance one way or another and she see's you as a father figure."

"Gem-" Bobby warned but Gemma waved him off. He highly doubted that Tara would ever want the love of the woman who almost ended her life.

"Go, now before they think I'm poisoning you" Gemma scoffed. Bobby hugged her a little tighter when he pulled her in and then pecked her on the forehead.

For the sake of his brother and old lady, he had to do it. He turned on his heel and nodded to Happy before closing the door on his way out.

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AN. Did I do them justice or what? Please review as I was both relieved and excited about this chapter (And wow that just made me sound so desperate)

Next chapter will discuss a few of the questions asked in reviews from previous chapter. We'll hear about the test results that they already know are in their favor and a little explanation from the woman who caused them havoc over the past few days.


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer. I own nothing SOA related but my own goods.

Okay so I think this is some concern for not only me but also my readers out there. I've mentioned before that I'm from New Zealand and earlier in the week the South Island was struck by a 7.8 magnitude earthquake at night while the rest of the country had small 2.3 ish earthquakes not long after. It wasn't anything major for me as I live in the north island so it doesn't affect me as much. *I hope I didn't just jinx anything but fingers crossed.

Anyways, if I don't update again this time next week, it's most likely due to another natural disaster and shit like this doesn't happen in NZ often. I'm trying to joke about this but I know in other countries, natural disasters happen constantly.

When I wrote this chapter, I got idea's for my two other stories in progress so if you like Jax and Tara and JT, then go ahead and read my other two stories that I'll be updating at the same time as this one.

Rant over.

* * *

"Maybe he took the kids for something to eat babe?" Jax spoke at the worried expression on Tara's face. He pulled her in for a hug and kissed her crown. "Everything's okay now. No more Gemma and even though we know in our hearts that her kid ain't mine, Colette will soon be out of our lives too."

"Yeah. Once this test shows that" Tara whispered against his chest. Even though they knew by timeline and shit that Luke wasn't Jax's son they still needed the tests to prove he wasn't.

They made themselves comfortable inside after bidding the guys farewell as they rode back to the clubhouse and absorbed the complete silence in the house while being wrapped in each other's arms.

"With everything that's been going on these last few days and weeks, I think we should go on a small family vacation or something. Somewhere where we can relax and just enjoy being a family together" Jax spoke. Tara looked up to see his eyes were closed and he was humming in thought as his hand drew lazy patterns on her exposed hipbone. His eyes opened and he met her soft hazel ones. "What do you think?"

"Our own family memories" she stated in reference to what Jax had planned on doing before all this Colette and Gemma bullshit landed at their front door. "What'd you have in mind?"

"Yeah. That was a bad way to start fresh. I was thinking we could go to the beach somewhere? Maybe take the kids to Disneyland or something." Tara stared at Jax in complete shock. "What?"

"If you had've asked me years ago if you'd ever plan a trip to Disneyland with your kids, I'd have laughed in your face for even suggesting it."

Jax grinned lightly and pecked her cheek. "I'm a changed man babe." He knew himself that the Jax back then wouldn't of even imagined offering a vacation away with all the club shit they went through and him being President would've been too dangerous for his family to even consider the thought.

"That you are" Tara moved to straddle Jax as she claimed his mouth with her own. He pulled him closer by his kutte and a smile broke out onto her face.

"What?" Jax spoke through the kiss.

"How much did you really miss wearing this?" She asked in reference to his kutte that she was currently running her hand over.

"Not all that much. Feels lighter actually. You know, like I don't have to worry about the burden of being President and shit." Tara smiled in thought. "What?"

"I'm glad we did this shit together. What happened today" she stated with a smile that Jax met eagerly.

"Me too babe" he sat up a little more while at the same time pulling her closer and cupped the curve of her neck and pulled her in for another kiss.

The mood shifted in the room as they hungrily kissed one another. "I forgot how much I love it when I drag my fingers over your kutte" she moved to comb his hair back and he bit her bottom lip, eliciting a throaty moan from her. "And how much I love your hair."

"What else?" Jax growled as he made Tara grind down on his fully hard erection.

"Your hands. They are definitely your best asset."

"You sure about that babe?" He asked as he worked his way into her jeans. Just then her phone went off and she was quick to check it. "Who is it?" He growled when he saw something that made her smile.

"That was Quinn. He took our babies back to the clubhouse to get their things. Guess he got the message from Bobby telling him we were home. He's gonna give us a few hours to ourselves before he brings them back."

"Fuck I love that man" Jax grinned from ear to ear as he got a grip on Tara's thighs and stood up making sure he held her tight enough to hold. The change of position had Tara yelping in surprise and her hands caught herself around his neck before she could fall.

"Not as much as I do. And the answer to your question about what I like best would be your body as a whole. It just starts something inside me, yah know?" Tara stated as Jax began his way towards their bedroom.

"And here you got me thinking it was my dick" Jax grinned from ear to ear as he threw her back on the bed causing Tara to giggle then pounced on her before she could stop giggling and claimed her mouth with his own. They spent what little time they had wrapped around each other and tangled in the sheets.

In the aftermath of their love making and showering with one last round, a smile crept on Tara's face and she made a beeline straight for the front door where she met Jax with an eager smile. Of course she was fully clothed and whipped the door open to see Thomas and Faith running straight for the house full of excitement.

"Mom" Thomas roared as he was the first to reach them. Caught up in the moment, Tara was overwhelmed with emotions of having her kids back in her arms that she neglected to see Abel standing guarded in his post a few feet back.

"I'm so happy your home mama" Faith cheered as she hugged her mother's hips and wouldn't let up on the hold either.

"Me too baby girl. How was your time with the guys?" Tara asked knowing if she asked how they were with Jax, their answer wouldn't of impressed her in the least.

"A-mazing. It was like a big sleepover at the clubhouse. On the first night I cried because you left and so Abey and Tommy slept with me. I slept in the middle. And that was the same with the rest of the two nights except I know Tommy hated sleeping with me so he slept on the couch. All the guys were always making us laugh, and uncle Quinn, he would take us to school with his kids and he would pick us up it was just so cool. I hope we can do it again soon."

"That's great baby" Tara finally noticed that Abel hadn't attempted to move and looked down at Faith as Thomas looked to his older brother.

"Why don't you go and love on your dad while I talk with Abel?" Tara offered to which Faith nodded but hugged her mother one last time. Tara crouched down on her knees and hugged Faith back.

"Oh, you should probably know that he was crying too. I know he probably thought we were asleep but I wasn't. I heard him" Faith whispered into her mother's ear so as to not let her brother in on the secret she knew he'd wanted kept to himself.

"Noted. Now go on inside" Tara guided her daughter into her father's arms and waited until Jax Faith and Thomas were inside before she turned back to Abel and smiled softly.

His hands were tucked into the front pocket of his jeans and he was kicking whatever he could see at his feet. He looked up when Tara closed the distance between them. "You ain't planning on running again are you?" He gruffed out. Tara was surprised to hear how much her son's tone had changed.

"No. I don't plan on doing anything again without my family with me baby." She nudged his side with hers and Abel just nodded. "You plan on giving your ma a hug anytime soon?" Abel nodded again and wasted no time in wrapping himself in his mother's embrace.

"Love you ma. I always will."

"I know baby." They stayed embraced in their hug for a while, each enjoying the feel of her son and his mother. When they pulled away and glanced into one another's eyes, there were little to no words exchanged but they could seem to tell from each other's eyes what they weren't saying. "You gonna give your old man a hard time or what?"

"Nah. Figured with everything going on you both got it sorted."

"We do baby. Don't worry."

"About dad, you think that boy is his?"

"No."

"How do you know that?"

"We ran a paternity test but the woman lied of his age. It's not his son baby."

"Good because I already have one annoying brother. I don't need another" Abel chuckled as he hugged Tara again. "I'm glad it's just us five. I like having a happy family."

"We're sorry for what we did to you and your brother and sister too baby. You forgive us?"

"Of course. I'm just glad your back and that dad is back." Abel smiled genuinely and it warmed Tara's heart.

Their small reunion was a little on the emotional side and as they made their way back inside, Abel wouldn't let up his hold on his mother. He was truly a mama's boy.

Tara knew that Abel had sucked down whatever hatred of his father he had left and embraced him in a hug that lasted longer than Tara had expected.

"Thank you Quinn. For doing what we couldn't over the past few days" Tara informed the biker who she thought of as a brother.

"No problem. You know how much I love soaking up the daddy and uncle Q time. I'll see you 'round."

"Yeah. Thanks again." She followed him out the door.

"Mom? We're having some family time. Are you in?" Thomas asked as he scanned the collection of movies they had on their cabinet.

"Course I am. Just as long as you don't make a mess with the popcorn and pick a family friendly movie."

The doorbell rang again and Tara answered without question. Thankfully it was only the pizza boy with their order that Jax had placed before the kids got here so she fit the bill and shut the door with her hip and carried their dinner into the living room that was soon turning into a movie zone. "What's playing?"

"Some movie that Faith wanted to watch" Abel gruffed out as he took the pizza boxes from his mother and placed them down on the coffee table. "Next is Thomas' turn then mine" Abel grinned as if he knew what movie he wanted to watch. Hell, his chosen movie was the reason why he had to go last. He knew it was a bit too blood and gore for his sister.

"Sounds good. Who's got the popcorn?" Tara smiled.

"I do" Faith exclaimed as she stood up so fast with the bowl in her hands that she accidently spilt it causing her mother to cringe at the mess but she didn't say anything. "Sorry mommy" she pouted slightly causing Tara to huff in amusement.

"It's okay, just as long as I make myself clear right now and say your to clean your mess up later."

"Deal" she sat herself down between her parents on the couch before Jax moved her into his lap and draped his arm over Tara as the movie started. Abel and Thomas were content with sharing a couch until halfway through the movie when they started annoying each other. Top and tail was never in the Teller boys favor and they always had to argue who's legs were where or one had more space than the other or who the hell got the back of the couch and who got the front of it. Abel huffed in frustration in the end and moved to sit beside his mother causing the younger son to smirk.

* * *

A few days had passed since Tara and Jax had gone to Rosen's office for the DNA test and to seek Gemma out and everything slowly went back to normal.

"Who was that baby?" Tara asked as she came up to hug Jax from behind. He placed the phone down on the bench and pecked Tara on the side of her head before turning in her arms.

"Sheriff's department. They want me to identify a body." Tara furrowed her brows as she pulled back then she realized who he was talking about.

"Gemma" was all she needed to say as he confirmed with a single nod.

"Overdosed on her meds. Last night." Tara didn't really know what to say. She didn't feel sympathy for the woman. She didn't feel pity either. Her time had come and considering she had said she had weeks left, the woman must've felt it was only right to off herself sooner rather than later.

"Right" Tara whispered. "Rosen just called me too. Said he has the results on the DNA."

"Shit" Jax snapped. "What should we do?"

"I'll head out to Rosen's office and you go down to the morgue." Tara could tell Jax was gonna protest but she stopped him. "You need this Jax. I know you hated her but she is still your mother."

"Fuck" he groaned. "I want to go with you."

"I won't let you Jax. Just go, say goodbye to Gemma then meet me at the clubhouse. I shouldn't be longer than an hour at least."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

* * *

"Now that everything is out in the open, you mind telling us who your son's father really is? Mind me asking but do you really know who he is?" Tara asked. She, Colette and Rosen were sitting in the same office they'd occupied days ago and Tara had just finished reading the results of the tests she knew were false.

"Yes. I've known all this time" Colette scoffed. "I was just playing into Gemma's games remember?" Colette stated as she cocked her hip to the left.

"Care to share then? I mean it's the least you can do after everything" Tara spat out.

Colette huffed in annoyance. "It's common knowledge who my client base is considering we're based near the ports. Marines come in and out frequently and you have the odd man or two that come in from their domesticated lives. I'm a woman who started having kids at a very early age." Tara was polite enough to not mention anything about the woman's occupation.

"I couldn't look after my first child so I gave her to my parents. We have a relationship now and it's strong but it was never always like that. I was pulled into the escort life shortly after I had her and grew my business from my home with the help of some friends. Of course my parents being all Catholic and whatever, they didn't approve and moved away. Didn't get to watch my daughter grow up but that was my fault for letting them take her in the first place.

I had my second child five years later and discovered that motherhood wasn't for me again so I gave her to my best friend. As the years drug on I hated myself for even giving my kids away but I was lost. I was only looking out for the money and I got it being single and working. Years went by fast, I was old enough to be a grandmother but I was pregnant yet again."

Tara honestly didn't know how one question led to a lifetime of stories but she found Colette interesting and if this was Colette's answer to her question, she wasn't gonna stop her now. Tara also had a feeling that she needed this vent and that she may not have that many friends left.

"It was different the third time around."

"How so?"

"My two daughter's father's were; let's just say, not nice men. Partly the reason why I'd given them up. When I fell pregnant with my third, I really loved the father. He changed something in me. Made me realize the things I missed out on in life. He had just retired from the marines and he would always come into my house. I always offered him comfort when I stopped spreading my legs for men because he was different." Colette frowned at the brief memory. "He wasn't against what I did but I promised him I wouldn't sleep around on him. We were together for about a year before he proposed and we were engaged."

"What happened to him?"

"He was shot in a drive by that happened in Oakland. I was six months pregnant then with twins."

"Seriously?" Tara asked. Although this whore had screwed her and Jax over, she felt sympathy for her.

"Yeah. We were so happy to have twins, a boy and a girl."

"What happened to her?"

"Jesus, you don't give up do you?" It was meant to be a serious question but Colette laughed softly. "I lost her when she was born. I was lucky that I didn't lose Luke."

"Right."

"If you had've had your lawyers dig up my medical history and had he looked further back enough, he would've discovered that piece of intel and in return, when he was actually born."

"I'm sorry that happened to you." Colette just shrugged it off.

"This next answer is in regards to Bobby's question I think. As far as me being around Luke when he was born, I was. They were just too occupied with either the pussy I ran or the pussy at Diosa to notice that I was always gone half the time. My relationship with both my daughter's changed my perspective of motherhood and I cared for each and every one of my kids. What I lost over the time I'd given them up, I made up for when they came looking for me. I made sure my life didn't affect Luke until the day Gemma called me."

"About that, how the hell did she reach out to you?"

"No idea. I was shocked she even found me. I didn't think she knew what happened between me and Jax" Tara cringed at that. "Sorry" she apologized. "But when she did come to me, it wasn't so easy to pass up the opportunity. I mean, I wanted revenge for you breaking my nose and it was a helluva break you caused. I had to get a nose job for that shit" she chuckled at the memory. "Anyway, you already told me I told you so, so I don't need to explain her convincing to get me to do her dirty work." Tara sighed with a raised brow. There was a long silence in the room between both women before Tara stood up.

"Thank you for, I don't know-" she shrugged briefly "I guess for explaining something that you didn't really need to."

"Look, for what it's worth-" Colette stood when Tara started walking towards the door. "I apologize for sleeping with your husband but that's just what I do. People look at me and wonder how I can do what I do."

"Do you ever regret it? Getting into the agency?"

"Yes. This wasn't my dream job and I'll admit I hated what I do, especially if the man was married but it's what I did to survive on my own. It stopped me from seeing that there was more to life outside of a bedroom."

Tara and Colette had a moment of understanding before Tara nodded and left the room.

* * *

"Calm down brother. She's probably out having coffee with Rosen after the meet" Bobby stated.

"How do you know that? She's been gone for fucking hours. I knew I should've gone with her" Jax growled out in frustration as he paced the pavements outside the clubhouse.

His head snapped up as another vehicle drove onto the lot and this time he bounded towards it when he noticed it was Tara's. He opened her door for her and sighed in relief.

"What's got you all furious baby?" Tara asked in confusion as Jax literally unbuckled her seat belt and pulled it off her before pulling her out and into his arms.

"Just fucking worried, that's all babe" Jax groaned when he inhaled Tara's scent and pulled away only to look her up and down. "You okay?"

"Yeah. I got everything I needed."

"Which was?" As they made their way back to the picnic table, Tara greeted the guys politely as they waited on her answer.

"It went- expectedly."

"What does that mean? Babe, you gotta give me more than that" Jax groaned.

"First, Luke isn't your son like we already knew" she stated as she pulled the test results from her handbag and handed it to Jax who read it over once and sighed in relief. Tara had taken that time to sit down and take a sip from Jax's glass of whiskey that he'd been nursing for the past ten minutes.

"Second, I asked if she even knew who his father was and the answer was yes."

"Who is he?"

"He was an ex-marine who died in a driveby shooting in O-town. It was sad really" Tara shrugged.

"And you worked everything out?"

"Yup. She apologized to me for sleeping with you and explained how she didn't even know how Gemma managed to reach out to her."

"So your okay?"

"Yes Jackson I'm fine."

"Okay, I believe you. Now we have church" Jax stated. "We were just waiting on you."

"Now that I'm back, I'll take the kids home and start on dinner."

"See you soon." They kissed before Tara called to her kids and they left moments later.


	25. Chapter 25

Disclaimer. I own nothing 

Thank you all for your reviews. It means a lot to me that there are still readers out there that enjoy this story.

Italics are flashbacks of scenes

* * *

Jax didn't know what to fucking think. After a shocking revelation during church he wanted Tara. He wanted her so bad that he couldn't fucking go home just yet. It was stupid, he knew that but there were some things that he always craved so bad that he couldn't have them right away. He felt that in this moment as he rode at high speed along the highway.

Bobby was retiring from the gavel at the end of the month and he wanted Jax to reclaim his seat. Jax was Bobby's first choice and Jax flat out declined.

 _"Come on brother, this has always been your table" Bobby pushed. "I was only supposed to keep it warm for you- safe to say that it's been burning hot for the past decade."_

 _Jax constantly shook his head in the negative. He wasn't having any of this. He made a fucking promise to his wife. "I said no Bobby. I've come to realize that not everything is about this club. My legacy is to be a good fucking dad and a decent husband. One that my family would be proud of. If I take back the gavel, it will undo all the things I'm trying to change in my life. You gotta understand man" Jax finally looked up to Bobby who just stared at him blankly._

 _"But this is your table" Chibs spoke. "We've made the decision and we're gonna keep being persistent until you take the gavel back one way or another."_

 _"Not gonna happen."_

 _"Look bro, we all know how bad you had it but we kept you safe and alive while you were inside. We also kept things running smoothly from the outside" Tig stated and that's when Jax tensed his jaw and gripped the table._

 _"Are you trying to tell me something?"_

 _"Just that you should remember your place in this club Jax. You don't belong below me. You belong either next to or above me."_

 _"Look brother's" Jax inhaled deeply and then released it. "I appreciate everything you've done for me and my family and for what you've done for me over the years. Truly I do. But as I said, my legacy is no longer to be the leader of an MC. I can't take all the credit but I put this club on the right path. With your guys help it's where it should be now. Where it's always supposed to have been. I've had my run with it. Don't think I could ever touch what corrupts again. When you've had shit like your own mother almost killing your wife, or your kid being kidnapped before the age of one, or pulling a ten year fucking sentence, step father killing your father, brother's killing brothers and wives then come and tell me how you wouldn't want to take back the gavel. Tell me then that I'm being stupid or unreasonable" Jax scoffed. "I love you all and I won't ever doubt my ability to do so for the rest of my life but it's time I put my family first. Shit, I almost forgot that I didn't even get to watch my kids grow up. Missed all three of their births. First steps, first words, first everything. I can't let them down anymore. You guys gotta understand."_

Jax had never been disrespectful towards his brother's nor his club but they just weren't listening to him. He wasn't about the club life anymore. The only reason why he wore his kutte now was to please his brother's. So that when the time ran out, they wouldn't bug the shit out of him for not wearing his kutte around.

 _"Bobby, how many kids you got? Don't you ever regret not being there when they needed you most? And Tig, you too. Your two girls weren't worth a little more effort to get to know? Chibs? Have you made up with Fi yet? And what about Kerrianne? Are you a constant in their lives?" Jax then looked to Quinn and nodded. He knew this man was a family man. Being a nomad half his biker life gave him the opportunity to be a constant present in his kids lives. "And Hap? You got any kids man?"_ He knew he shouldn't of asked that because it wasn't any of his business but he was simply trying to make a point. _"Sorry, I just had to ask. I can't be the leader you guys need and at the same time the man my family needs. I've tried it before and it almost ruined me. For once, I have to choose my family."_

 _When Jax finally looked up to the sea of eyes watching him like hawks, he could see they finally understood what he was saying. Why he wouldn't put his kutte on from day one._

 _"Your a brave young man Jackie. I respect you a lot more because of that" Chibs stated with a massive grin. "I'm glad you wanna change for ye family. I bet if your old man was here today, he would be proud of the man you've become."_

Jax liked to think so too but he highly doubted this would've been his life had his father still been alive.

 _"Are you sure you don't want it brother?" Bobby asked._

 _"I'm sure Bobby. Give it to Chibs. I think he's worthy enough of the gavel."_

Distractions weren't good. They made people do some really fucked up shit.

The dark road, riding alone wasn't something Jax was accustomed to. He always had brother's watching his back and when he should know the streets and highways of Cali inside out. But it was the driver of a mac truck that was slowly crossing onto his side of the lane that made the mistake. He tried his best to avoid any sort of collision but hadn't seen the headlights of a vehicle behind the mac truck that had him colliding with the road instead.

* * *

Tara woke up with a start. She knew something wasn't right. As soon as she realized that her phone was what had awoken her, she answered.

"Dr Knowles speaking?"

"Dr Knowles, it's Janine from A&E. There's been an accident involving your husband Jackson Teller. He's creating havoc trying to get someone to call you. I'm afraid your going to have to come down." Tara dropped the phone without even thinking and sat in bed in complete shock.

"This can't be happening" she cried in the dark of her bedroom. She leapt out of bed, reached for her silk robe and tied it at the waist while at the same time slipping into her slippers. She got the kids up in a hurry and forced them into the SUV before driving like a mad woman towards the hospital.

"Mom, what's going on?" Thomas spoke. He wasn't at all thrilled about being woken up but the moment they entered the parking lot, he realized something was serious.

"Abel, I want you to take your brother and sister to my office. Here's my key and stay there until I come and get you."

"What? No. What's going on?"

"Please Abel, just do as I say. Take your brother and sister and go wait in my office" she repeated. She was on the verge of a breakdown now but she had to hold herself together.

"Fine. Come on guys" Abel escorted his brother and sister towards Tara's office once they entered then Tara headed in the direction of A&E.

"Janine, what's going on?" Tara asked as she approached the woman who'd called her.

"Dr Knowles, Dr Paisley is with your husband now. I didn't even know you were married" the young woman stated.

"That's none of your business that's why Janine. Now tell me where he is or-"

"My apologies Dr. He's in recovery. Room 212." Tara made no attempts to acknowledge the woman further as she made a beeline straight for her husband. She wasn't prepared to see the state of him when she saw him.

"Great, Dr Knowles I'm glad you made it in time."

"What's wrong? How'd this happen?"

"I'll let Sheriff Eric White explain further but for now, your husband is in stable condition. We had him sedated earlier because he was fighting against us. He wouldn't let anyone touch him." Tara looked down at her husband in fury. He was always stubborn.

"What is the worst of his injuries?"

"He's got a broken right leg and a sprained right arm from falling on his right side. We've gone in and repaired them already."

"Wait what? How long has he been in here for?" Tara asked as she raised the single white sheet from her husbands leg to see a hard cast on it.

"A few hours. We needed identification to make calls but couldn't find any. The sheriffs on the scene only just managed to find his wallet that most likely had fallen when he collided with the road." Tara sighed deeply and looked back down at her husband. "I had Janine call you as soon as we found out." Anything else that her colleague had mentioned about Jax's injuries were minor road rash, a few cuts and scrapes. "He's very lucky he didn't retain anything else. He's going to stay in here for the next 24-48 hours just to be monitored but he's going to make a full recovery. He should come around in the next few hours or so."

"Thanks Audrey." Once the doc had left the room, the sheriff entered.

"What happened?" Tara asked after greeting the fellow law enforcement.

"The driver of the car gave her statement over. She mentioned that the mac truck driver had already been in a sleepy state and was driving all over the place prior to the accident." That was all the confirmation Tara needed to realize how Jax ended up in here because she knew he was a damn good rider. One of the best she'd ever known. Jax loved riding at night. He always did it to clear his head or if they were coming home from a run and he wanted to make the last few hundred miles to be with her and the boys when they woke up. "The driver of the mac truck has also given his statement too and if you want, he's willing to accept all charges coming from you and Mr Teller."

Tara simply nodded. "I'll wait until Jax wakes up before making any harsh decisions. Is that everything sheriff?"

"The car driver wants to speak with you for a moment. She wants to apologize on her behalf." Tara looked up with questioning eyes and the sheriff simply nodded outside the room. She stood and placed a kiss to Jax's forehead before heading out after Eric.

"Elaine Walters, Dr Tara Knowles-Teller. Mr Teller's wife" Eric introduced. Elaine looked to be in her mid forties with a bob haircut.

"I'm so sorry about your husband Dr Knowles. If there's anything I can do at all, all you have to do is ask. I made the call. Everything happened so fast. I'm pretty sure your husband didn't know I was behind the truck but he managed to avoid hitting me and instead laid his bike down."

"Thank you for telling me Mrs Walters." Tara spoke softly. She was thankful that this woman was thoughtful enough to not let her husband bleed out on the road like some would.

"Honey, I know this isn't any constellation but let me pay for your husbands recovery process. I'm sure he's probably sustained some harsh injuries."

"It's very generous of you but I simply couldn't. It wouldn't feel right and this isn't your fault."

"Please call me Elaine and I won't take no as an answer. It's pretty early in the morning but I just needed to apologize for my part in this and if you don't mind, I'd like to come back tomorrow and check up on your husband?"

"Of course I wouldn't. I think he'd like that very much."

"Well then I'm glad. I'll be back tomorrow." Tara watched after the middle aged woman hugged her goodbye and left the building.

She made her way back into Jax's room and sat down on the seat beside his bed.

"Your one stupid idiot, you know that Jax" she chuckled lightly and reached for his hand, intertwining their fingers together before looking back up to him. "Your too stubborn to go out this way Jax. There's a lot more shit you promised me so you have to wake up." The stray tears fell freely as Tara moved to wipe his blonde locks from his face.

* * *

 _"Jackson?" There was recognition in that voice. One that held authority. One that reminded him so much of the man who gave him life. The owner repeatedly uttered his name but everywhere Jax turned, the voice was more muffled- unless it was his own hearing- and his vision was blurry- again unless that was his own eye sight. He wasn't sure if he was dreaming but if he was, he didn't want it to end._

 _"Over here son." Jax turned in the direction of the voice and stopped short upon seeing a dark haired man with a beard. He smiled in comfort and Jax furrowed his brows together. He didn't move from his place. He waited. Waited until Jax made the first move- so he did._

 _As Jax closed the distance between them both, the man smirked with a rare smile Jax rarely saw unless it was coming from his own face and something had made him really happy to grace the rare smile._

 _"Dad?" He gulped down a lump that had blocked his throat and coughed slightly. "Shit, what the hell is this?" He was definitely sure now that he was in a fucking dream unless something had happened to him in reality but he was definitely sure he'd fallen asleep with Tara in his arms moments ago._

 _JT ignored his comment and opened his arms out. "You gonna give your old man a hug or what?" Even though he was in slight shock, he couldn't help but want to hug his father. He'd been longing to hold him since he was a teenage boy._

 _Now this all seemed too surreal. This wasn't happening. But when he hugged his father, it felt more than real._

 _"You don't know how long I've wanted to do this with you son" JT spoke softly. He and Jax had embraced in a warm father son hug that neither wanted to let go just yet- so they held onto one another for a while longer._

 _"Me too dad."_

 _When they finally did manage to pull away, Jax's vision became a little more clearer. They were standing in a meadow. But it wasn't just any meadow. It was the meadow he'd only ever shared with Tara. The one that JT had shared with him and his brother._

 _"What is this dad?"_

 _"You don't recognize this place?" JT asked._

 _"I do. I mean, what are we doing here? What am I doing here?"_

 _"I've always been watching over you son." That made Jax cringe. He didn't like to think his old man watched over him knowing half the shit he did would make JT want to hit him behind the head- better yet, do a lot more than that. "Don't think about all that Jackson. What you did from the time I left you and your ma up until now means nothing. I'm proud of the man you've become now. I'm proud that you stepped up did right by your wife. She's a good and strong woman Jax."_

 _"Yeah she is" he whispered under his breath as JT started to walk towards the meadow._

 _"There's no other woman I could've seen that handled half the shit you put her through. Definitely a keeper." Jax studied his father for a moment. He still looked the same without the kutte. He wondered if JT was happy here- wherever here was._

 _"I know."_

 _JT paced the edge of the water front for a moment before he spun around and looked his son over again. This boy had definitely grown up he thought and smiled to himself._

 _"What you did at church, that was a good move. Tara will trust you more now that you turned down Bobby's offer." A smile appeared on Jax's face. It was almost hopeful and to have it confirmed by his father made his heart flutter a little more. It was the only reassurance he needed to know Tara would stay at his side._

 _But Jax still didn't really get what this was about. Was it a message for him? Was he supposed to do something? He had no idea. Before he could ask any of those questions, JT spoke again._

 _"There's one thing I need you to do for me son."_

 _"What's that?"_

 _"When you wake up from this dream, it will be a new day. Make the most of the time you have left with the woman you love and my grand kids and prey to God that you won't ever find yourself walking down this road again until your absolutely certain of it." JT was already fading before Jax could say or ask anything else._

* * *

Dry, cloggy throat.

Hard to breath through his nose and mouth.

Aches in almost every limp.

Eyes hurt from the sight of light.

Death had passed once again and Jax was facing reality.

He could hear the beeping of a monitor. The drip of something that seemed familiar. And heavy weight lying on his arm. He wasn't sure what had happened.

When Jax slowly started to open his eyes, he adjusted to the lighting first and noticed he was in a hospital room. He realized that he must've dreamed about his father because he was currently circling around in his thoughts. A smile crossed his face when he noticed a head full of dark brown hair.

He recognized that beautiful dark brown hair anywhere. He wanted to stay still and watch as Tara slept on him but there was no feeling in his hand that she was sleeping on and his back was killing him. He twitched slightly and Tara rose almost instantly.

"Hey babe." When he spoke it hurt and it was barely above a whisper.

"Jax your awake. Let me go get the doctor."

"No babe. Don't" he coughed out reaching for her hand before she could leave him. "Don't leave me." She looked over him and nodded.

"How you feeling?" She asked as she ran her hand over the side of his face.

"Tired. Thirsty and my back aches."

"I'll adjust the bed for you. Want a water?" she was also looking over the water fluid levels and noticed it was all gone as she adjusted the bed.

"Yeah" he sighed in relief once the bed had been adjusted and waited for his water. Tara then began to fumble around with everything until Jax stopped her.

"Where are the kids?" He asked once he could feel his throat wasn't so dry.

"My office. I didn't want to tell them what was going on just yet."

"You need something to eat and I'm sure they'll be up now if they weren't worrying so much."

"Yeah. I'll go get them. Explain what happened and everything."

"Okay. I'm gonna rest my eyes for a bit." Tara watched as Jax closed his eyes and kissed him before she left his side. She was shocked to see a waiting room full of SAMCRO members taking up the room.

"What are you guys doing here?" Tara asked in shock. She clearly remembers having not called the guys.

"The kids called. Said something was up with you and that they were here with you so we came to see what all the fuss was about. What's going on darlin?" Bobby asked after pulling Tara off to the side a little.

"Jax was in an accident. He's going to be fine but I couldn't leave the kids at home alone when I found out and by the time we'd gotten here I completely forgot to call one of the guys."

"Shit. Sorry Doc. If there's anything we can do, the clubs got your back" Tara nodded before she hugged Bobby.

"Thanks Bobby. I really appreciate that but I think I should tell the kids now. Can't keep them out of the loop any further."

* * *

Thank you all for taking your time out to read my story again.


End file.
